How can I be a normal size, when all I've ever known was being big?

For 27 years, I've been the biggest one in school, work, or play. Most people have had a glimpse of life as a normal size person (meaning not considered obese). From day one, I was categorized as obese. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else out there knows what it is that I'm feeling, and if so, how did they get over the all-consuming fear of loosing their safety bumper of fat. Since becoming an adult, I've been happy as the BBW, the amply endowed, and the pleasantly plump girl. I could loose myself in food because I was already fat, so what difference would it make if I ate that fried chicken? Before, I was out of control with food. Now, I'm still out of control, because the surgery is the one controlly what, how much, and when I can eat. Did I move from one extreme to another? Isn't this trading in one obsession for another? How will I know how to act when I'm not surrounded by layer upon layer of fat? Will some horrible skinny b*tch manifest herself in my place?? Any reply would be welcome. I'm just looking for support from those that are in my shoes.

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