10 days post op & still

I never thought I'd get to say I'm post op. Now I wish I hadn't done it at all. First I know most of what I'm going to say has been addressed here and there, guess I'm looking for anyone that might have been through my particular mess all at once. Was set for lap and they had to convert to open RNY, and the pain has been absolute hell. Is uncontrollable, 10 plus level pain extremely out of the ordinary? I'm probably at a 7 or so now, but still on liquid narcotics to keep me there. My JP drain and staples were pulled 8 days post op, and I've had two spots open in the incision line and drain like crazy - no blood, just reddish liquid. No infection or smell that I can pick up on. Still, it has me in tears all the time. I'm weak as a kitten and don't want to eat, can barely drink water. For the 1st week I had 3 cups of jello, 2 cups of broth and water. That's it. Two days ago I had my first soft food (an egg) and since I've had an egg each day, but nothing else. I am on a multi, calcium and sublingual B12. I feel like HELL. The thought of a shower is overwhelming. This draining is scaring me, even though it doesn't sound too unusual. Am I just expecting way too much way too soon? I knew my loss would be small since I'm not hitting the protein much (I've only lost 6 pounds but didn't expect much more at this point). All I want to do is sleep - as an escape. I feel like I made a huge mistake because I'm more miserable than I was before. At least then I felt "normal" and now I feel like this gigantic disaster. Any thoughts would be SO appreciated. Oh, also, did anyone end up on oxygen post op? I personally didn't notice that much difference in my ability to breathe; I panted and sweat because it was hard to get up and move around. But the staff went through the roof because my saturation levels went so far down and I ended up leaving the hospital with oxygen bottles. Right now I feel very scared that I ruined my life. Spend more time crying than I do anything else. Please help me! I need to find a light at the end of this tunnel.

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