Not just scared but TERRIFIED!!!!

I have to say, after reading an earlier post about the memorial page, I did a little digging and found it. I realize that there are complications from surgery. I know that people die from tonsilectomies, plastic surgery,etc.. And some of those on the memorial page didn't actually die from WLS... But I am sooooo scared. I am still going through preop testing, (thank GOD my surgeon is insistent on allll those preop tests) but still. I am TERRIFIED that I will be one of the "ones" that don't make it. It broke my heart to pieces to read these people talking about wanting this to be able to chase thier children, some only 5 yrs, 3 yrs, and 4 months old. I have three small children and I am doing this while I am still relatively healthy, but is that stupid? I mean I might not be that healthy now, and probably have complications later from my diabetes, but at least I am not dead YET. I know that there are more who survive then die, and I also feel like why should I have gone this far and to just chicken out at the last minute so to speak. My surgery will probably be end of January. My oldest two children will have no option but to go to thier father, who they haven't seen in over two years. He would get them for the money they would get from SS if I died, I know him. But they still should be raised by me. I am soooo scared guys. Please help me get this into perspective. I just want to cry. It made it so real to read these people's profiles and see they were just like me. Just as happy and optomistic. And BAM, blood clot. Or never even made it out of the hospital. And the family members begging people to reconsider this surgery... Jeez, I am so scared. Please HELLLLPPPP!!! Michelle

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