Positive that I will die..

I know this question is pretty depressing, but did anyone else have a deep down feeling that they would/will not make it through the surgery? My surgery is September 6th, 2002. I keep moving from one extreme to another, one minute I'm excited at the prospect of surgery, the next I'm scared sh*tless! I haven't made any plans for post - op, nor have I purchased any necessities for after my surgery date. I just have this sense that I will die, and no matter how much I try to shake it I can't. I'm not a depressed person, I have wonderful boyfriend, family and friends, and I find happiness with them. I'm young and healthy, and my only problem is I feel like I'm living in a limbo land. I'm not really living, my weight holds me back, but I am so afraid of dying. I'm just existing. I don't know if that makes any sense at all! Any feedback positive or negative would be very helpful. Thank you all for letting me vent!

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