Totally depressed and screwing up my life???WHY???

Hey Amos Family-I hope everyone is feeling better than me today-I have been trying to tell myself that I am normal and just going through the daily ups and downs of life-but I know in my heart that I am severely depressed. I have lost 146 lbs and am 13 mos post op-I have a good life-I got accepted into the culinary school I wanted to go to, my grandmother co-signed for a hefty loan for me to attend, I've lost alot of weight and my heath has drastically improved-However i'm not happy-I'm not going to my classes missed basically half the semester in 3 of my classes, wasted my grandmothers money, and I feel like a wretch-I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS-I am embarassed too see a psychologist-I don;t want to be on anti-depressants but recognizing that I may have to be-i fake happiness and joy around everyone else but I am hurting so bad inside I don;t know what to do-I have been cheating on my diet even though I want to lose another 50lbs -I have been eating carbs and not even like crazy but snacking on something sweet at least once a day for the past week-thank god my period is going off-I think that may have sething to do with it-I feel like I am in a black hole and don't know how to get out-I am 23 yr old African American woman and my mother/family doesn;t believe that black women get depressed u get sad but you keep going-but I don;t know how-Looking for something but don;t know what-Tori

We greatly appreciate your interest in helping us build our Q&A database. To discourage vandals from posting garbage, however, we require people to register before posting.

You must be logged in to post an answer. Click here to log in.