Where do I go from here my marriage is falling apart

*WARNING..LONG* Ok..this is really a non-wls question/venting thing, but I don't know what to do anymore or where to go or how to feel. I feel empty and am hurting so much inside that my fingertips hurt. I have cried to the point of where my eyes are so swollen and my throat and chest hurt. For the past two weeks, my husband and I have done nothing but fight. I know part of mine is hormones out of control and the stress of trying to find a job, take care of kids, finances, and a home. His is his job, finances, and his daughter deciding she does not want to live with us anymore. For the last 8 yrs, my sex drive has been non-existent. I was on bp meds and knew the side effects were a low sex drive, but I mean, I have none..no feeling..no nothing. When I lay my head down at night, all I want to do is sleep. When we do make love, it's allright, but not like it was earlier in our marriage. He has thrown it in my face everytime he gets angry, depressed, or sad. I thought after the surgery and getting off the meds, that it would improve, but it has not. Now, we got into it last night and he says that he feels he should leave. I told him that right now, with the kids about to start school, that it would be a major disruption for them and the fact, that I love him and do not want that. He said fine, we will just go about our business as usual. I feel like such a failure. I know I have alot of resentment built up of yrs of his drinking, his lack of motivation for trying anything to better our lives. I know he loves me. I know that he has looked at pornography and feel like he wants me to be one of those kind of women and there is no way. I love him too and do not want our kids to end up in a broken home. He is a good father and can be a good husband and we have shared some great times in our almost 14 yrs of being married. I guess what I am asking is, is there any hope? I suggested counseling with our pastor, but it went through one ear and out the other. I feel maybe I should go and try to find out why I am failing so miserably. Is there a pill or something magical that I can do to not lose my marriage? Sorry so long.

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