Why am I not normal?

This is not really related to wls but I need some advice or just to vent, whichever. My husband informed me last night to not be suprised if he has an extrmarital affair, that he warned me if I did not change and show more affection then he would. Of course I sat there stunned, but not suprised. For the last 9 yrs I have not had a sex drive to speak of. Every now and then the need will be there but it's not something that I think about all the time. I have prayed and prayed to be like I was 12 yrs ago, but it's not happening. I love my husband and I am attracted to him, just nothing there. With all the blood pressure meds I am on, the dr told BOTH of us that it would lower my sex drive quite a bit...well...it's nonexistent right now, but I cannot not take my meds. I am questioning now(along with all the other doubts that I have)whether I should do this surgery or not since now I have to be worried about him "accidently" having an affair. I am just so confused, hurt, I blame myself most of all for this. If I was a better wife then he would not be looking else where. Why can't I be normal? Would having the surgery and losing the weight and getting off all this meds help my sex drive? The surgery was a decision to get my health back, but now it's also to save my marriage. If anyone wants to respond that is fine....just venting. Have no where else to go. Thanks for reading! God bless!

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