Im 2wks pre-op, cant believe Im really doing this ? Am I crazy?

I keep thinking that I dont need it , I dont know whats wrong with me ,I kinda feel like Im cheating and taking advantage of the ins co. I just lost 38lbs and i feel like if I can loose weight b4 surgery than why go to this extreme.. yea I know I will gain it back but my mind keeps wondering in a different direction and making me feel like for some reason Im going to bail on this, I am scared to death and I thought surgery should be a last resort.. I dont even know if Im making any sense here.. I just cant believe Im having bypass surgery in 2 wks.. Anyone else ever feel this way? Am I going to regret it if Dont get surgery and be sorry if I do ? Whats wrong with me?

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