Part 3, what happens when family is not supportive? PLEASE READ.

Well I am back yet once again. I received a letter from my husband yesterday which kind of put me down in the dumps. Basically, he does not question my success at weight loss in the short term, though he has serious concerns about my long term ability to keep the weight off which is founded from 2 areas: 1. The lack of statistics of long term success rates, being 5+ years post-op (in which he stated that even my surgeon didn't have any info readily available and if he did then it would have been included with all the other info which was provided to us) and 2. My historic patterns. He says he would love to see me succeed at weight loss but the sad truth is that I have not had the psychological will-power in 15 years to shed any weight on a consistant and long term basis. He worries about my ability to cope with the effects of the "tool" and my ability to remain psychologically strong enough to 'NEVER FAIL AGAIN' at weight loss. He says it's great that the "tool" will keep me in line and honest about certain foods. He says I don't handle stressful situations very well and this "tool" may create a constant stressful situation for me. He asks how will I deal with the separation from the foods that I love right now, those same foods that will cause me physical pain. Then he asks, what happens when the pouch starts to stretch as years go on and I am able to eat more? Will I have the same will power then, what will be so different then compared to now or the past? Talk about being slammed with opinion. He says he doesn't have any confidence in this "tool" beyond the initial weight loss. That all the info I am filling my head with right now from books, websites, forums etc...is mainly focused on the short term and is likely biased by the proud accomplishments of people. He wants to know of the people from 5, 10 even 20 years post-op, The successes and the FAILURES. He asked if I had thought to post a question on the forum asking people how long ago had they had their surgery, their current weight loss compared to their intial target goal? He bets that the vast majority of patients will have fallen off the wagon by then and they don't participate in the supports sites, so any results will be skewed, at best. This is where I really need your responses now, especially from those who are 5+ years post-op. I know I have heard from some but I would love for you to share your stories with me so I may share them with him as actual proof of what I am about to do is good. I want you to be brutally honest with this please if you will. Unfortunately, the letter ended with his biggest concern stemming from his "very strong suspicions that I will fail". Half from the actual method and half is his confidence in me. This hurt, but I can understand why he would think that way. He also made it very clear that this does not translate into him encouraging me to fail, or sabotage me or anything along those lines, He said in fact it was quite the opposite, "that he will support me through it" (FALL DOWN IN A HEART ATTACK FROM SHOCK NOW!). He says he just doesn't want a situation where I am back anywhere to where I am now, but physically altered and pyschologically destroyed because I yet failed again, because he says at that point, there are no other options to quick-fix, and I will have \ to do it the old fashioned way of food control and exercise. With that last sentence it confirmed to me that he is NOT as informed about this procedure and lifestyle change as he thinks he is, especially with the food and exercise part. It really sounds like he is in that wagon with all those that believe that this is the "easy way out". He has heard all the info, though I really think he is refusing to acutally LISTEN. So please if you wouldn't mind spending some time to fill us in on your stories, so I can show him that this is lifelasting, for the good. I have less than 3 weeks to go! By the way, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!

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