How do you walk into a 'skinny' store?

So we've lost the weight... on our bodies, but what about our minds? About me... when I had the surgery, I was wearing a size 24 - 26 depending... and that was down from a 26/28 to the occasional 30/32. While I'd been thin into my early 20's, I'd not shopped anywhere but Lane Bryant, The Avenue, or Torrid (thank Heavens for Torrid) in well over a decade... then the surgery... which to be honest, wasn't quite as successful as I'd hoped but I still lost 80 lbs to date (I'm 8 months out). It started easy enough... smaller sizes in Torrid. Then I could fit into the clothes in the Women's department at Macy's. A HUGE accomplishment that I was proud of. Those clothes got too big. I knew Old Navy went up to a size 20 and had heard they ran large so I braved it - pretending to shop for my husband... I didn't need a 20, I needed a 16 and a 2x top. I was... over the moon. I started to shop there often... but the closet full of Old Navy clothes was both too big and a bit boring. Yesterday I went to Macy's with a thinner friend. I shopped... in secret... in the designer section. I picked out clothes for my "friend" - clothes that included a pair of size 32 (14) Lucky Brand Jeans, an xl Lucky Brand jean jacket, size 14 Calvin Clien shorts, tons of xl tops, xl Lucky Brand work out clothes and a terribly sheik xl Tommy Hilfiger linen wrap dress without a hint of stretch. I went into the dressing room with my friend... I tried the clothes on... they fit beautifully... and I made her take them out and buy them for me. On one hand... I am absolutely ecstatic!!!! I went shopping, got a ton of stuff, and didn't once enter a plus size department. Yet... I can not seem to wrap my head around walking into a store that sells regular clothes. I need bras. I know that I measure into Victoria's Secret... but I walk by the store front every time. I feel too fat... like I don't have the right to enter. It is the same for every other store I used to love.I know I could fit in their upper ends now... but I can't keep stealth shopping. I know part of it is that I used to work retail and if someone too fat to fit the clothes came in, we turned our noses up and gave them shit service. But... the bigger part is that I do not feel like a misses 14. No matter how little I eat, no matter how much I work out... especially with this flap of skin hanging over my gut (another issue entirely). Has anyone had this problem? Has it been hard to walk into BeBe with your head held high... flipping through the racks for that perfect pair of shorts before strutting to the dressing room... as if you were not 80 heavier a mere 8 months ago? How do you overcome it? Help....?!? I used to love to shop, and now, when shopping should be more fun than ever, it is anxiety!

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