i cant get weight off gained 20 to 25 lbs since surgety n 2007

i had my surgery in 2007 a gastic and since i've gaine about 20 to 25 lbs an i cant get it off i ve had 3 blood transfusions ans a surgery ro find out where im bleedin i lost the weigt after surgery but it back n i hate myself ive turned to alcohol bcause my dad died n jan and my nephew/son was killed at 26 less the 2 months later in my car they consume my thoghts .....HELP i CAN't be fat again EVER im still n size 12 but was n 10 n some 8

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