Not as much a question but a cry out for support and prayer

The thing is a long time ago my family, who are all 6 super obese, held a family "meeting". For some reason the entire meeting was about gastric bypass. This was back in 1998 I think. My parents announced to us all (their 4 children) that if we were ever to have the gastric bypass they would disown us. For years my heart has been broken and their words have eaten away at my soul & I had lost any hope of finding a light in this darkness. Well I decided after years of diliberation that I am no longer going to suffer and that without their blessing I am going to go under the blade. I have chosen not to tell a single soul besides my husband. Im even afraid listing here in case word get back to them somehow. I can't beleive I have to keep a secret like this but my plea is that I have some people really pray for me and my recovery when the unknown, as of now, date arrives. I don't and can't do this alone and I really need some support. After being brainwashed for so many years that I will be damned to hell for this because its mutilating your body you can only imagine my fears and sorry. I beleive its not a sin to try and save myself and stop the real mutilization of becoming more and more obese. I just dont want to be alone and would feel so much better if God heard more than just my plea for safe recovery and success! If anyone has a little compassion and time to share with me it would mean more than I can express. Thank you in advance.

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