almost 5yrs post op/sick/weight gain/mind issues

hello everyone it has been a very long time. in oct. i will be 5 months post op. i have gained some weight that has caused some issues in my head that was never there b4. i am obsessed and haunted by this constantly!!.. i have gotten to 137 and cant stop thinking about food. oh my god, i am sick all the time if i eat right or not so i eat what i want. i dont leave the house unless there is no other way to get things done. sometimes i hate myself for having this surgery, because of the illness and this 17lb gain. what the hell is wrong with me? everyone keeps telling me that i look so GOOD, and at 120 they were afraid for me. Some compared me to looking like I had been ill for a long time. All i do is sleep now. My husband who has never supported this is more happy now than he ever was and asked to get rid of all the clothes that i had so much fun shopping for at 120lb when my weight has stablized. Help me somebody please, suggest anything, be blunt, harsh, whatever, I NEED HElP!!.. One good note I still turn heads.. HA HA.

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