A reminder about the purpose of Support Groups

Hi Folks -- I am 9 mos post op and have been reading these boards DAILY. There are several things that I remind myself of, to keep perspective, that others don't seem to: 1) To read and/or answer questions is OPTIONAL. No one has a gun held to their heads to be on this board. 2) New people are introduced to these boards daily - and may not have seen previous posts. No one is being forced to answer the same question multiple times. No one is being forced to read posts that they don't feel they are affected by. As an example, I ignore ALL of the insurance posts, as my insurance didn't cover a dime! What do I care who covers what now that all is said and done. I'm still paying for my surgery and can't change any of that at this point in time. Because of this, I have very little to offer people who need info on insurance. I don't gripe that there are too many people asking for insurance info! I just skip it. 3) This is a SUPPORT group --- support means different things to different people. More importantly, each and every one of us has a unique background that led us to this point. No two people will have the exact same experience. 4) The further out we get, the easier it is to forget the fears that we had RIGHT before the surgery that we would NEVER eat our favorite foods - the ones that got us to this place- again. Is anyone condoning the idea that it's ok to eat those foods in the amounts that we did in our previous lives? NO, we are not. It is important, though, that the pre and post op newbies understand that they shouldn't have surgery and follow it a week later with a "naughty". Down the line, you will be able to enjoy your favorites, as well as alcohol, but moderation will be key. On that note, your new tool will make moderation easier. You will not WANT to have more than just a taste. You won't feel good if you over indulge. If you don't indulge from time to time, though, you are likely to attempt to binge --- just like why the diets in our last lifetime didn't work. 5) Everyone should understand that just like we have different backgrounds, we all have different levels of discipline. There are several people who seem to be successful, even if they've given in to the occassional urge. Stating that they have done so does not give anyone permission to beat up on people for how they get by. 6) The most important thing for us to remember is that we all have different surgeon's who all have different programs. Folks, there is no such thing as right and wrong....just make it work for you! I didn't mean to climb a soapbox, but I know first hand how difficult it can be to be looking for help and be berated instead. There are things that we all know we shouldn't do....most of us have common sense, but to berate someone for asking is not right. I have no credentials other than my own experience - and I still consider myself to be a baby, but I am available to anyone who would rather ask a question one-on-one. Sincerely, Dani [email protected]

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