I am 4.5 yrs post op and have gained wt. Time to be honest with myself and need help

As I said above, I'm 4.5 yrs pximal RNY. I was transected. I lost 157 lbs the first year. Started at 290, 5'4" and got as low as 133 for about 10 minutes. Rebounded to 150-155 which was a very comfortable weight for me. I looked and felt very healthy. Now comes the honesty part. I have told anyone who asks me about this surgery it is 75% mental and 25% physical. I really thought I dealt with my "head" issues that got me overweight in the first place. I've gained up to 190 lbs now and even though I've tried to convince myself that it doesn't matter, and my most famous line "everyone needs some kind of vice". It does matter, I didn't go through this surgery for nothing. In all honesty, I feel like I can eat too much and have been able to for quite a long time. My surgeon is no longer in practice due to being sued too many times and I filed a complaint w/my ins. co. because of him also. I have not had any follow up from a Gastric surgeon since about 8 months post op. My PCP follows me and does my bloodwork regularly. I feel like something is wrong that I can hold so much food at once. I'm not sure what they can do to check and see if I'm stretched out or if something else is wrong. I want to get on the right track again but it feels like with all life's stressor's (and I have more than my share right now) I just can't get a hold on this. I'm not having a pity party, just want some advice or to hear from someone else who either is where I am or has been where I am and maybe I can e-mail and try to keep each other in line. I haved lurked and rarely posted on this site for 4.5 yrs. I respect the opinions given. Please, do not bash me for my honesty, I've seen that happen. I'm begging for some help and support. Thank you in advance to all who have taken the time to read and respond to me. Robin

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