Feeling terribly depressed.... Can anyone help without telling me how horrible I am?

I found this to be the only place I can vent with the possibility of finding someone who understands... that said, here goes. I had surgery about 5 months ago. I started out at 234 and I am only down 44 pounds. I have found my surgeon to be not a very easy person to talk to and am feeling quite alone. I have no motivation to exercise, those workout videos are ridiculous and I always feel too tired. I can eat just about anything... I dont dump. I drink with my meals out of pure habit. I drink alcohol. Not all the time but occassionally which seems to be more than most of you. I feel horrible about myself... If it werent for the fact that I eat considerably less than I used to,(but its not like Im full after half a salad) I wouldnt even believe I had the surgery. I know what I do wrong as you can see from above.. but I dont know how to stop. When I began this journey I was so committed and motivated.. I did the whole diet thing to the letter. Now... well now Im finding it increasingly impossible. If anyone can relate I would love to hear from you..especially if you have found a way to break the cycle. Thank you for your help you guys. Love, Tina

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