Can anyone help me prepare for this spinal tap?

My neurological history is quite crazy. In July of 2000 I started seeing crazy flashes of light in my eyes all the time. I went to my optometrist, who immediately referred me to an opthalmologist. He indicated that I had the symptoms of a brain tumor, but suspected it may be pseudo tumor cerebri. The MRI was not conclusive. I continue to have the flashes and kind of got used to it, until December, then came the headaches. Terrible throbbing headaches, that nothing could cure, not Advil, Tylenol even migraine medicines like Imitrex. My PCP sent me to a neurologist, who again suspected it may be pseudotumor, yet there was very little swelling of my optic nerves for such serious symptoms. He sent me to an opthalmoloist in New York who specialised in pseudo tumor, who said that it is highly unlikely that I have it. So back to the neurologist, who puts me through lots of tests including an EEG and Sleep Deprivation study which both turned out abnormal, but not to the extent that epilepsy was indicated. So now the headaches have gone, occaisionally I get them and I'm knocked out for the day, but now I've started passing out, and have since moved to Michigan. So back to a different neurologist, who I refer to as "insensitive pig." I have never met a more awful doctor. He told an entire waiting room full of people that a spinal tap would be incredibly difficult on me, as I was "obscenely overweight." So he ordered a spinal tap under fluoroscopy, and mntioned at least ten times how horribly hard it would be for him to do on someone my size and made a huge scene out of telling the radiology department on the phone, that they would need to have an extra large needle, as he was dealing with a very obese patient. He also stated that he did not trust the radiologist to do this, so he would do it himself... ooh I get the pleasure of his company at an already traumatic moment. So I went home and after thinking abou it, I said no, why the hell should I put myself through that when I haven't had a bad headache in months, I'm used to my visual symptoms and I'm really not uncomfortable in any way AND besdides, I would be getting WLS soon, and theoretically if it was pseudotumor, it would clear up with weight loss. So I called his nurse, said I would not be having a spinal tap, nor would I ever come back to his office. And that was all over a month ago. But then on Tuesday when I went in for my physical so my PCP could write that I was medically sound for surgery, I had told her about the spainl tap and neurologist fiasco before, and she seemed fine with it. Yet the other day she had changed her mind, and wants me to have the spinal tap. Now if you know me, you would know I am the biggest chicken about such things... (People always say why aren't you scared of WLS then, and I say because I'll b asleep) but seriously I pass out every time I go for my OB/GYN check-up or even an MRI, I am so nervous about things like that. I will shake vomit and probably eventually pass out. When the neurologist was going to do it, he said they could sedate me, but my PCP says that would affect the opening pressure, which is what they need to get. And also it's going to be the radiologist doing it, which the neurologist didn't feel comfortabel with. So I'm freaking out, because of this. I know if they could just sedate me I'll be fine. But the way I get when these things need to be done, they'll never be able to do such a delicate procedure ith me screaming and squirming and freaking out. I know it sounds so childish, but that's just the way I am. So how can I keep calm... I know everyone is going to write back and say they're not that bad, but that won't help me, I just need to know how to calm myself down and get through this without ending up with a gant needle coming out my chest!!! :) Any help would be so much appreciated! Sorry for the longwinded post! Love to all!

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