Help!!! Am I normal?? Please help me...I feel like I'm losing my mind!!

Hi....This is my first time ever posting..am hoping that I can get some helpful advice. I have been on this site several times a day for the past 2 months and see how helpful everyone is...I decided to have this surgery (lap RNY)over 2 months ago, chose my Dr., and made the call thinking it would be just as easy as making an appt to meet the surgeon and go for approval..boy was I in for a suprise... They sent me a packet which I sent back and was told that it take then 4-6 weeks for it to go through the process of them actually calling me for an appt....4-6 weeks!! My heart dropped right then....but ok, I know this has been very popular lately, so I have been waiting patiently..sort of..The whole process is first a Psychiatrist looks at the paperwork and then okays it and sends it over to the surgeon...I was told this would take 2-3 weeks and then another 2-3 weeks for the surgeon to call me...well, I just called again today and was told that the 1st Dr. didn't even look at it and would be another 2 weeks and then another 2 weeks on top of that just for the surgeons office to call me.....My problem is that ever since I decided to have this surgery, I have been extremely emotional and depressed to the point that all want to do is sit at my computer and eat...and sleep to pass the time...I feel like I don't have a life anymore. I have gained so much weight in the past 2 months that I don't go anywhere because I feel like I can't enjoy myself because I have been so worried about the fact that I look so terrible lately. I have about 150lbs to lose, I just don't even have the energy to do anything. I have a very supportive husband but I am sure that I am driving him crazy...I have found myself being VERY short fused and emotional and crying at stupid things..He has never had a weight problem and even though he tries to console me he just doesn't understand completely what I am going through...I know this sounds like depression and I have been on antidepressants before but I think that it stems a lot from the fact that I want this surgery so bad that it is consuming me. Also because I feel alone and that noone understands me...noone but my mom and hubby know that I am having this done. My sisters are both overweight and would try to either stop me from doing this because I won't be fatter than them anymore or gossip so bad about me and twist things around...they would be very jealous of be and would tell everyone that I am doing this to try and make it some kind of cop-out. Someone in the family had this done and although she told noone, it got out and my sisters were talking about how she took the easy way out...Since I have been tempermental and depressed I have pushed people away and they think it's because I am a *itch..and moody...and mean. Just today I got in a fight with my sister and mom...got so upset that I threw some things around, took 2 xanax and fell asleep for 2 hours....This is so opposite of the person that I am. I wish there was a support group in my area that deals with the emotional issues not only post-op but the torture you go through pre-op...as I am going through this because I probably won't even get to meet the surgeon until June....then I have to go through the approval process, and who knows how long that might take, then I have to make a surgery date.....I may not even have this done until late this year if I'm lucky. I don't know if I can handle another fat summer...especially since I have put on 30lbs since last summer. I just feel like I can't go on living my life like this...I am at my heaviest weight right now and feel so down that it scares me.....Please, I hope to hear from some of you that might have gone through the same thing or any suggestions as to what I can do..Prozac just doesn't work anymore and xanax doesn't do much either. I need to do something before I am so bad that noone, even my husband would want to be around me.....

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