Has anyone had a problem with their surgeon's staff like this?

I am livid right now. My sister and I have been scheduled since October to have WLS at the end of January. In Mid-December I called the program director to give her some different insurance information and she informed me that the doctor may have a scheduling conflict on our surgery date. She informed me that he likes to teach people how to do the surgery and he "didn't spend all his time in the classroom just to spend every waking moment in the operating room." I asked if he is unable to keep the date - do we have an alternate date yet. She informed me that she did not, but would know something by that Friday and if I didn't hear from her to assume that "no news is good news. . " The following Monday I called her just to double check. I needed to reschedule vacation time, husbands vacation time, and figure out what I was going to do with my children if we changed the date. She informed me that she still didn't know and that the doctor wouldn't be in for two weeks (Mid-January). I wasn't very happy at that point. Prior to calling her I had just found out that my friends sister had just been called that morning and was given a surgery date for early January. Without being blunt I indicated that if anything came open sooner than the end of January - I'd be happy to go (she didn't know that I knew about the friends sister). She also indicated that the criteria for the program had changed and that I'd have to meet with the surgeons assistanct to make sure I still qualified. She informed me that the surgeon no longer meets with the patients prior to surgery - but rather the assisting physician meets with the patients prior. I'd had some other concerns prior to this. . .I was initially denied by my insurance company - so I pursued an appeal - and within two weeks was approved. I called the doctors office to advise that they would be getting a letter indicating the approval and the program director informed me that they had disposed of my file already as they "get 20 applications per day and cannot keep all of them. . ." Her whole attitude made me feel like I was nothing more than a number. After the whole "date" issue - I elected to check out another program and physician. I guess I was searching for some validation that I was making a good decision with the previous physician. I felt really good about my physicians "track record" and surgical competence I just was not comfortable with how I was being "handled". Were all programs like this? Was I being to particular? I met with the second physician - and he was okay. . .the front end stuff was dynamic!! The followup by his office was absolutely great! But, he was just okay. He had only done 1/5 the surgerys as the first physician. So, by this past weekend I had made my mind up to move forward with the first physcian (by the way he's the only one that does it laproscopically in my insurance network) Guess what? I get a call from my sister this morning. Our doctors program director called my sister to find out what's up with me. Why did I go see another doctor? The program director indicated that Dr #2 called Dr #1 to inform him that I had been at his office. Can they do that? and Why would he do that? The program said that Dr #1 was very upset and that he wanted to "kick me out of the program". . . but she was able to talk him into keeping me in it. She also asked my sister if I was planning on keeping my Jan 30 surgery date or if she needed to rebook it. She (the program director) also wanted to know what my sense of urgency was. . .why did I want to have this surgery so quickly - she mentioned that there was a concern that it may border on some type of psychiatric issue. Needless to say - I am livid! Why was my doctors office discussing my issue with my sister? Is that even legal? I hardly consider trying to work the "mechanics" of my personal schedule a "psychiatric" issue. Why didn't the program director call me directly? My sister thinks that the doctors did not contact each other - but rather her coworker (that also had the surgery through our doctor) phoned the physicians office to inform them that I was looking elsewhere. She had been grilling my sister for the doctors name etc. . .late last week. . . Any feedback or advice. I want to call the program director and just say "what's up" is there something I can clarify? Let's talk about your concerns? To me this is a lifelong comittment with a physician and his office. . . .I can't go into this without a good rapport with them. . and they with me. . . any advice?

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