Any WLS Couples Out There?

I believe there are some married WLS couples on this board and I could use some advice. I am 2-1/2 yrs PO and had lost 252 lbs but unfortunately have regained 15-20 lbs. I am managing to stay stable now, so maybe this is the weight I was meant to be. My husband is in the process of getting pre-authorization for an RNY, which is what I have also. There is no question it is covered and he qualifies, the only thing that could delay it is if they force another diet attempt. He has been working with a dietician since last Sept, but had not seen her for about 5 months, until 3 weeks ago. She seemed to feel comfortable that he met the criteria for a diet attempt, should they require it. Time will tell. We want to get the surgery in this year, as we never know what next year brings as far as insurance coverage. Right now everything would be 100% covered. <p>My concern relates to us being in such different places in our journey for at least 12 months. He only has about 100 lbs to lose. If it wasn't for the uncontrolled diabetes and severe sleep apnea, he would never even consider surgery due to what he weighs. But the co-morbs are literally going to kill him much sooner than later. <p>When I went through surgery I was single and therefore could make the choices I needed etc. I prepared my own meals etc. My concern is that I usually make the meals and pack his lunches. I am in a totally different place being so far out, in what I eat. I'm afraid I will accidently sabotage him without even trying just by serving him the same foods I eat. I still am quite protein focused, but candy is my downfall. I'm thinking it is important for him to make his meals and make the choices so he learns about his new pouch. What did some of the rest of you WLS couples do, especially if you had your surgeries years apart? We met when I was 9 mos PO, so he has a good idea of what eating is like before maintenance. We've talked quite a bit about food portions etc, because that was my main concern for him. He is a volume eater and I wasn't sure how he would adjust mentally. He seems to have realistic expectations. <p>I also realize that it is likely he will end up smaller than I am weightwise. I hang about 210-215 right now. My goal weight was 200 lbs. I never set an insurance chart weight as a goal weight because for me it was not something I could even imagine myself at, due to the way I am built. I wear a 14 and sometimes a 12 at the weight I am at. I wish the 12's fit looser, but that's another issue that losing 10 lbs would cure. LOL <p>I am not a typical RNY in what I can eat. Gone are the tiny 2-4 oz meals. Some meals I can eat upwards of 1-1/2 to 2 cups of food, just depends on what it is and how heavy it is. Other times I cannot even finish a 1/4 lb cheeseburger with bun. Usually end up eating 1/2 the bun. Most days I eat around 2000 calories, of which about 1/3 is crap food. Grazing is definitiely an issue for me. I worry that if I am able to eat much more than him and continue to maintain this weight, that it will cause issues. That he will feel it isn't fair. I also am hopeful that maybe it will help me to focus a little better and get back on track and take off 10 lbs, but that would just be a side benefit. I'm probably making more out of this than there is. I just do not want to in any way sabotage him, yet I am not willing to totally change how I eat. <p>I'm not even totally sure what I am asking. I guess I am just looking for other WLS couples experiences. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks, Chris

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