why am I such a failure

I had weight loss surgery oct 2, 2002 I went from 350 to 220 and was feeling great not that I wished I had not lost more but I felt so much better. Now I have gained almost 30 pounds within the last 8 months Im feeling like a total pig, had a upper Gi which came back tottaly normal. they said my stomach was very small, ok I will asmit i did not play by the pouch rules I did drink while eating and I also tested the waters by eating the wrong foods which did not make me sick. I dont need anyone to tell me I failed the diet becasue i already know this, what I would like to know if there are others like me that finally got thier act together and started to lose weight again and if so HELP

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