I'm pre-op, but self-esteem is up, my DH is so disrespectful, how do I handle it?

Throughout our relationship, my DH has really disrespected me sexually. He objectifies me, does not really respect my opinions and doesn't think I am very intelligent (despite I got into Harvard, got 1530 on my SAT's, my IQ is 156 and I have an application pending to MENSA). He will make crude remarks and gestures regarding oral sex, grab my breasts and make no attempt to hide the fact that he is looking under my skirt. I didn't use to mind it so much, but now that my self-esteem is increasing (and I have a daughter), I am getting sick of it. I have told him it is crude, I have told him I don't appreciate it, and asked him to stop but he doesn't. I currently am ignoring him and walking out of the room when he does it. It is making it so I don't want to have sex with him (he thinks I am SO smitten for his "member" when I really would prefer to just keep reading - I always fake it). How do I tell him nicely that sex to me isn't about objectifying eachother but a meaningful experience? How do I get him to respect me? We are in couples therapy, but this seems TO personal and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I am worried because I fear it will get WORSE when I am post-op (he is already looking at skimpy clothes and nighties for me). HELP!! -Erinn DC

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