Friend having WLS

Hi Everyone: Please help! I have a friend who is scheduled for WLS in 2 weeks. She was referred to me by a friend of my husband's. I always thought I would be an excellent mentor, having been through WLS. I am now three months postop. However, my new friend does not have the internet, so I cannot refer her to this site. She is a wonderful person, but is in such complete denial about the restrictions afterwards, and the possible complications, that I feel I cannot be completely honest with her. She has another friend who is 3 weeks postop who had open rny, with infection in the incision, etc. This person told my friend that she has nausea, difficulty with eating postop, and is basically sorry she every underwent WLS. Well, my friend was so upset by this and is constantly crying, etc. When I told her I would have said the same thing at 3 weeks postop, she said but you look great, you are doing so good, etc., etc. She also started crying when I told her the postop diet was difficult. Has anyone else had this problem? While I sympathize so much, knowing how I felt right before surgery, I don't think I can handle this. She asks me questions like, "Do you think I will have complications, will I be as relaxed as you, will I be able to handle the eating restrictions, etc., etc. My daughter said, "Mom, you tried honesty, now just tell her she will manage like so many others before her". I remember so many people telling me what a breeze it was, only to discover that I had a rough time. At only 3 months out, I cannot answer all questions. My friend thinks that after surgery you eat whatever you want, just in smaller portions. All of us postops know that is not the case. Do some people really not want to know the negative at all? I keep telling her that her personal experience may be quite different than mine or her other friend. She wants reassurances that no complications will happen, even from her doctor. When she asked if I was worried before surgery, I told her I was afraid I was going to die. She definitely did not want to hear that. Please help. I feel so bad, but unable to make her happy with her decision. Love Grace

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