I can't dump...

I know this sounds totally twisted but I have tried to make myself dump (so I can understand what it's like) and can't do it. I am really afraid of dumping so I wanted to do it at home so I can know how bad it is. My worst fear is eating something when I am out and dumping.<p> At about 4 weeks post-op I ate a whole sugar cookie to try and cause a dump....nothing. Yesterday I ate a normal sized slice of cake that my kids made for Valentines day. I did scrape over half of the icing off (I always did that pre-op too). I did not have the slightest reaction to it. I felt full and satisfied with one piece and pre-op I would of tried to force myself to stop at 3.<p> I decided on RNY instead of DS partialy because I WANTED to have an adversion to sweets (my downfall). I feel like my tool is broken or something. I am terrified of failing with this since I failed on so many attempts at weigh loss. I am having success (45 lbs in 6 weekw) and the size restriction is working great for me. I just don't understand why I don't dump!<p> Am I the only person on the face of the earth that WANTED dumping as a reinforcer to help loose the weight?

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