I need some advice
I am post op one year and one month! I am down 135 pounds and am almost at my goal weight. Actually I am close enough to goal that I am satisfied only 10-15 pounds from goal. Anyway, when I made the decision to have this surgery I only told a few select people in my husbands family due to issues that are too lengthy to go into. I know without a doubt that the ones that I told have not said anything but supposedly someone saw me at a doctors office and reported back to my sister-in-law (who doesn't like me) that I had had my stomach stapled because that was the kind of doctor that I was seeing. OK now instead of calling me and asking me about this she has taken it upon herself to tell everyone in the family that she sees that I have "had my stomach stapled" I cannot even put into words how angry I am. Even though my mother-in-law knows that I just found this out this past weekend, she has not even called me to ask me about this or to even inquire if I am ok or anything. The thing that bothers me is the total disregard for my privacy or feelings. Obviously, if I wanted anyone to know my personal business I would have told them. The way I found out was that one of my husbands aunts came up to me at the resturant that we were at and out of the blue said with such disbelief " I didn't know you were having surgery?" I handled it well by making out like she was confused and I hadn't had surgery. I think it embarassed her and I hope it did. Now I am trying to figure out how to handle this situation without doing so in a childish manner. I want to show my sister-in-law that I am a better person than she is and I will not play games like she does but at the same time, I can't let this go this is too big a deal to me to just let it go. My husband says that if I confront her that it will just cause a big rift in the family. I said that it is unfair to expect me to not do anything and that I am sick of being treated like dirt from his family and that it is time that they learn to respect me. We have been married for five years and they have always had issues with me and they all have something to do with my size. Now that I have lost weight they try to talk to me and be nice to me but I am not interested. If they couldn't treat me that way before, why am I suddenly worthy of their attention. I am sorry to unload, but I know that the only people who can understand me are the ones who have been in my shoes. I value all the advice and help that I have gotten from this website and in a way, I feel that this has helped save my life. My sister-in-law has always disliked me because years ago before I even met my husband she wanted him for herself and when she couldn't get him she went after his brother. I know this has nothing to do with me personaly and if it weren't me it would be whoever he married but this situation has made it personal with me and it is not all about her dislike for him anymore.It is strange that she has been going out of her way to be friendly to me lately and then I find out why! She obviously has mental issues but that doesn't excuse her behavior. How would she like it if someone had done this to her? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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