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Katie would it be OK to share your post?  If it's not, that's OK.  I don't want to out you to your friend if she would see it but I would love to share it in my blog.

I use this slide in one of my presentations.  I talk about leaving the core group of friends and how they want to pull you back.  They don't want you to leave even though you are starting to grow and "move up" in the world.



The thing that I see as a positive in your message is that she told you she was jealous.  The way it usually goes is where the friend just starts to become distant and they never tell you why.  Sometimes they don't even know why...they just resent you.  One of the kindest things one of my friends said to me when I was obese was that she didn't see me as big or obese. She saw me as Yvonne. She saw no size and loved me regardless. 

You have to ask yourself if the situation was reversed, would you not want your friend to have a better life?  Tell her that you love her no matter what.... but you must continue on your path.  I've seen this happen in families even and you cannot stay "down" because they want you to. She will adjust eventually one way or another.  The only thing you can do is encourage her, love her and do the very best for yourself.  We rarely get a second chance in life and you must live it with all you've got.  Continue to invite her to be in your life but if she declines....that's all you can truly do sweetie.  Do not get in the position of having survivor's guilt.  It makes me sad that you cannot enjoy your new found success in her company. That makes it difficult for everyone.  Bless your heart.  JEllen said some excellent stuff too (as she ALWAYS does).  Keep us posted. Don't hold back...enjoy your new life.  You worked really hard for it.
hugs, Y

If you did not have a chance to go to the Houston OH conference .... Please try to go to the next one.... as a newbie being less then a year it was just what I needed, Even just being on line with OH helps but being at the convention made the difference...... you meet, you learn and you make memories that will last a lifetime,  It was incredible  and I hope everyone has a chance to go to the next one I know I will be ...... I just want to thank all the people that put it together so people like me could have a place to go have fun and learn more about health and living with a SWL


Hugs, Lisa

Ok Yvonne told me this day might come..and unfortunately it has. One of my girlfriends tonight told me that she feels like the fat ugly step sister when she is with me..and that she fades into the backgroud because people make such a big deal over me and my weight loss. She has realized that I am smaller then she is and it is bothering her big time. She has told me that she cannot be as supportive of me as she should be because she is jealous. I don't think of her as my "fat friend" I think of her as herself and love her no matter what. Please help me ! I don't know what to do to help this situation. It also does not help that I just got a job that she is jealous of also and now she is saying that she is happy for me..but that I have changed. How can you not change when you lose 135 pounds in a year??? She says it like it is a negative thing and it isn't negative at all..I am very proud of my success and I worked hard for it. I am afraid I will lose this friend and I don't want to. Any and all advice would be appreciated..Thanks..Katie

hmmmm... well I guess I'm with you on the fried food thing...

I've tried some fried foods recently... and it just ISN'T working for me... at all.

So... the SMART thing for me to do is to STAY AWAY!!!

the other ABSOLUTE -

Be sure to take ALL my VITs every day.

Weight Loss Surgery Support: Daily Inspiration for November 5, 2010 Katie Jay, MSW

 

Have some absolutes.

 

 

The trouble with having an overeating problem is you can't swear off food completely. You have to eat. In addition, you are around all kinds of food all the time. It's hard to resist. While there are plenty of gray areas when it comes to the WLS lifestyle, you can have some absolutes.

 

To give yourself some freedom over uncertainty, consider selecting a few foods or behaviors to which you will apply absolute rules. Be absolute about not eating refined sweets and carbohydrates, for example. Or, never drink soda. Or, walk every day.

 

Action for the day: Pick one thing you can be absolute about that will benefit your health. Write a contract with yourself (and be sure to sign it) stating what you will always (or never) do in support of your WLS goals.

 

© 2007, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report,  How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at .www.nawls.com