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To my DELIGHT and SURPRISE - I found my approval letter in my mailbox tonight!!!!  I am sort of in shock!  Now I can officially get excited!!!!!!  And start preparing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suzy

I'm so sorry...mine was a peanut butter and apple butter. Really low in sugar...thought I had it made.  3 hours of wanting to die!  Haven't come close to apple butter since.  Lessons are good (and painful) but they sure do work well.

That's awesome that you're taking the stairs girlfriend!!  There's some success thinking and great progress. I'm sorry you hurt yourself but so glad you're OK...and wiser.
hugs, Y

Tressa gave you some great stuff and that's exactly what I would have said too.  If diet and exercise worked so well why hasn't it worked for one of the most successful and wealthy women on earth? Oprah...

Of course you've tried. And you have PCOS??  This surgery is known for helping that.  I tried for 30 years and I finally got to the point where I couldn't try any more.  I also didn't want to live any more.  I know you feel shame and especially after this discussion with your husband but people fear what they don't know.  He is scared....especially of losing you.  I could tell him all day that I starved like a crazy woman for years and yet failed....until now. I had surgery 9 years ago today.  He wouldn't want to hear that right now though because he's afraid.  If you stick around here and I sure hope you do you will hear me say this many times.   "We are rarely upset for the reasons we think"  That's truly what's going on with your husband.  I don't know if you can talk him down with the fact that it can save your life?  Do you think he'd go to a support group?

Of course he could continue to eat out.  It would be your responsibility to eat sensibly but it wouldn't change what he eats.  It doesn't really matter though because it's not what he's really concerned about.  I don't know how best for you to approach him because each person is different but what do you think you could do to help him understand?  Would it work for him if you said that you're trying to be the best you can be for him?  My heart bleeds for you that you would feel one more moment of shame about not being able to lose the weight.  After we spend years of dieting we mess up our metabolism and it's a long explanation but it's not your fault.  Your body will fight like crazy even after surgery to get you back.  Just let us know how we can help you approach this subject with a better outcome OK?

I'm so glad you're here and welcome!
hugs, Y

Weight Loss Surgery Daily Inspiration for December 10, 2006 Katie Jay

Resist the urge to feel good now.

No one likes to feel anxious, angry, sad, scared, or confused. No one enjoys an uncomfortable emotion when they are in the middle of it. Many people eat when their emotions are uncomfortable.

Rather than feeling sad on Mother's Day, because you suffered the loss of a child, you buy a half gallon of ice cream and eat as much as you can -- even if you get the dumping syndrome that comes with gastric bypass.

Rather then feeling angry at your boss for refusing your request to take leave for your family reunion, you crunch on potato chips, even if you feel ill afterwards.

Consider learning to sit with unpleasant emotions rather than eating over them, and watch your ability to master your overeating unfold.

Action for the day: Find a resource to help you begin to learn how to deal with emotional eating. Search the internet, get a book from the library, call a therapist, or attend an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Do whatever it takes to address this issue in your life.

 

(c) 2006 Pink Sky, Inc. All rights reserved.

Hello all, I am new here and have not posted before; mostly I've just been soaking it all in. I am pre-op and have lost enough weight that I am at the point where I could schedule my surgery, if I were ready to.

Last night I brought this up to my husband, who has been unexcited about the whole thing. I asked him, what do you think about me scheduling the procedure? I was not prepared for his reaction! First he angrily said that we would never ever get to enjoy eating out again, that it would be "finished". (We eat out maybe once a week tops, budget permitting!) I told him, from what I've heard, this would not be the case... then he told me that I just haven't tried hard enough in the past. If I just exercised more, I could do it. That my doctor shouldn't be offering me surgery, he should be offering me a membership to a gym, and a personal trainer; I just need somebody who knows how to exercise to get me in shape. He said, you want me to get up at 4 AM every morning and show you what you need to do? Because I know what it takes to do this.

To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. To say I have not tried hard enough, wow, I am so hurt. I sat and counted up my Weigh****chers member booklets and I think I have gone back to them 10 times. I have swam, and walked, and done yoga. I got up at 5 AM for two years solid and walked on my treadmill. And never do I get past a certain point. I have PCOS and my endocrinologist told me, you will never weigh less than 200 lbs. My bariatric surgeon told me, with RNY you could weigh 150 lbs. 150! That sounds like heaven!

Certainly, I have tried--and I have also given up and sat on my butt and eaten big bowls of ice cream too, and gained back my hard-won 30 lb. (max) loss. I go from really fat to medium fat. This is why I am considering RNY. This is why I finally felt hopeful after years of feeling hopeless. And I would rather have his support than not, but I don't get it! Why is he so mad at me? He's fat too, so when he says he'll show me how it's done I wanted to say, yes please, do show me, because all these years I've been trying he has not once stuck to an exercise program like I have. Not once.

Sorry this is so long. I am so in need of advice. I don't want to wreck my marriage. I don't want to be obese anymore. I don't know what to say to him. I feel like, if I have the RNY without his support and I have any sort of issues afterwards, it will be most unpleasant at my house.