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 Hello everyone,  

I'm finally on the losers bench.  My surgery went well and I came home on the 3/31.  I feel as if I have been hit in the stomach by a locomotive, though each day is better than the last.  My gas has been a real stinker, no pun intended.  Regardless of the amount of walking I did, it didn't want to move.  With the finality of forever having this gas on my mind, when it decided to leave the premises last night, that locomotive that hit me in the stomach could be heard rumbling three states over!  

Okay, so I haven't lost my sense of humor!  I have lost all the fluid plus four pounds since I entered the hospital!  Yeah me!

Everything is so sweet!  I had read that sweetness was a problem for so many but it was hard to imagine!  Who would have thought that sugar free jello would be so sweet!  Not doing to well on my intake of clear liquids, though I was able to get some lime jello down this morning.  I'm sipping my water, but it's forcing it as I really could care less.

I've also discovered that God has a wicked sense of humor... he made my arms about two inches to short.  I had my first bowel movement last night and I really could have used those two extra inches.  Thank you, God.

My doctor did say I need to pay attention to how I am feeling... apparently due to my past surgeries, the scar tissue was plentiful.  It took him an hour and a half to get through it and he is now concerned that scar tissue will wrap around my intestines and cause an obstruction.  I pray that doesn't happen!!

Thanks for listening everyone and thanks for your support all these months.  I'm really going to try not to be a whiner, and as soon as my belly heals I think I'll feel much better.

I know in our marriage we talked a lot about how we've enjoyed eating out... perhaps our most fun we have together. My wife is heavy, too... and it got to be more than weekly. We would really look forwad to it. So... we talked a lot about that, and though I haven't dared go to a restaurant yet (8 weeks out on Tuesday) I can see where i will be able to go and find something I can eat without much problem. There are layers and layers to this problem. You say your husband is heavy... but professes expertise in exercise... maybe there's some misplaced shame about not being successful that he's projecting on you? Maybe he's angry with himself as much or more than you. Maybe he's thought about surgery for himself and it scares the poo outta him. for some, surgery really feels "drastic, severe, way unnecessary when I feel so healthy." It really takes some self-confrontation to see surgery as a more healthful alternative than living with obesity for a long time. There's a lot of "I know I can lose weight... soon... tomorrow... next month... so why resort to surgery?"

My surgeon clinched it for me with two points: he said the risks from surgery were way lower than the risks of continuing at my current weight... and that nationally on average only 5% of really heavy people are able to lose weight and keep it off in the long term with just diet and exercise. And that 85% or so are able to lose & keep off after weight loss surgery.

I decided I liked those odds very much; it's those same odds that insurance people look at when they design policies for their companies that approve WLS. They do the numbers; they know in the long run they'll be paying a lot less in health care costs for someone if they have WLS and get a lot healthier because of it.

With my wife, it helped when I reassured her that I wasn't going to demand she do the same thing I chose to do... that I respected that surgery is an intensely personal decision and that I wouldn't have wanted her to nag me about doing whatever diet or exercise program she was successful with, so I wasn't going to nag her about joining me. We also addressed her fears that I would "get skinny and find a new better looking wife." This is a real fear people have with anticipated great changes in appearance. This gave me an opening to reassure her that after 20 years of marriage, I loved her more than ever, and couldn't imagine living without her in my life, and that even if we didn't weigh the same amount (as we often have through our marriage) that we would still be the same people on the inside and that those people would continue to need each other.

I wish you the best with your husband. His anger is probably a reaction to a perceived threat to what he considers "normal and good." Whether it's your unrestricted eating together when out, or deeper fears he may not be articulating like mentioned above.

Keep him in the loop! Maybe even take some of his advice on exercise (we men DO like to help, y'know) and mention that exercise is a very big part of life after WLS. You could also mention how much of a harder time women have in losing weight, even when dieting carefully and exercising a lot. Surgery can really help get to your goal, but the work is still of course required.

Well, SOMEONE'S had his coffee this morning, ha ha.

Good luck, we wish you well!!

I hope your date and approval are not far off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Suzy

Thank you so much Gina!!! I will do that. Congrats also!!!
Molly

MOLLY-I'm the "Gina" Yvonne was referring to. She said 40 pounds-she was kind-it was actually 60+ of regain-but it's GONE now-it CAN be done-please Do watch the video, when you have time-she is a GREAT host, and it was so much fun to do.

If there is ANYTHING I can do to help you, please do not hesitate to ask, cuz I sure won't hesitate to ask YOU when I need help!!!!

Gina AKA Nurse Diva