WLS Success-through Powerful Positive Attitudes
Recent Posts
Topic: RE: Happy Friday
Just me speaking the truth sister! You are a complete inspiration to me and I want to share that with everyone!! xoxoxoxo :)
Trac~
I am a Bariatric patient/professional, an Obesity Help Support Group Leader and Certified Life Coach. I consider myself to be one of the biggest advocates for obesity in my community. My goal is to educate the public on obesity as a disease and give back to the bariatric community through my personal experiences and life coaching.
**Obesity Help Magazine Promotional offer.. Sign up for a 1-year subscription and receive a reduced rate of $15.95. Use code Baker11 at check out to receive your discount** Enjoy!!
[email protected] - Email
http://baribits.blogspot.com - Blog dedicated to weight loss patients!
I am a Bariatric patient/professional, an Obesity Help Support Group Leader and Certified Life Coach. I consider myself to be one of the biggest advocates for obesity in my community. My goal is to educate the public on obesity as a disease and give back to the bariatric community through my personal experiences and life coaching.
**Obesity Help Magazine Promotional offer.. Sign up for a 1-year subscription and receive a reduced rate of $15.95. Use code Baker11 at check out to receive your discount** Enjoy!!
[email protected] - Email
http://baribits.blogspot.com - Blog dedicated to weight loss patients!
Topic: RE: Attitude of Gratitude!
WOW what a great list... I think you've hit the nail on the head with a lot of that list.. :)
Trac~
I am a Bariatric patient/professional, an Obesity Help Support Group Leader and Certified Life Coach. I consider myself to be one of the biggest advocates for obesity in my community. My goal is to educate the public on obesity as a disease and give back to the bariatric community through my personal experiences and life coaching.
**Obesity Help Magazine Promotional offer.. Sign up for a 1-year subscription and receive a reduced rate of $15.95. Use code Baker11 at check out to receive your discount** Enjoy!!
[email protected] - Email
http://baribits.blogspot.com - Blog dedicated to weight loss patients!
I am a Bariatric patient/professional, an Obesity Help Support Group Leader and Certified Life Coach. I consider myself to be one of the biggest advocates for obesity in my community. My goal is to educate the public on obesity as a disease and give back to the bariatric community through my personal experiences and life coaching.
**Obesity Help Magazine Promotional offer.. Sign up for a 1-year subscription and receive a reduced rate of $15.95. Use code Baker11 at check out to receive your discount** Enjoy!!
[email protected] - Email
http://baribits.blogspot.com - Blog dedicated to weight loss patients!
Topic: I need to stay off the main board...
I 
my RNY! It saved my life! 
Get Ready for the New You!
I really need to stay off the main board. The negativity there is just out of control. I read this thread: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/4150834/Its-quotINVAS IVE-quot-people-not-quotEVASIVE-quot/ and told the person to FOAD, which is a common abbreviation for "Fu*k Off and Die". I tried to reply, and even tried to go about it jokingly at first, but said if that were me I'd take that off. After going back and forth with this woman, another poster appears and says that some don't understand her methods, but she tries to help people!
I am losing my mind. lol. I said nothing about anything she has posted in the past. I just thought telling someone to FOAD was a bit ridiculous over a post on a message board. I've never even said something like that to my worst enemy, let alone a stranger on the internet. I tried to go about it jokingly and told her she can even tell me to "Fu*k Off" but I get attacked.
Oy, I just needed to vent. I need to stay away from that main board, but something keeps dragging me back in. I gotta get to physical therapy. Later.
I am losing my mind. lol. I said nothing about anything she has posted in the past. I just thought telling someone to FOAD was a bit ridiculous over a post on a message board. I've never even said something like that to my worst enemy, let alone a stranger on the internet. I tried to go about it jokingly and told her she can even tell me to "Fu*k Off" but I get attacked.
Oy, I just needed to vent. I need to stay away from that main board, but something keeps dragging me back in. I gotta get to physical therapy. Later.
my RNY! It saved my life! Get Ready for the New You!
Topic: RE: New-Introduction
Thank you for all the kind words.
We did go to a marriage counselor for a while. We went to a marriage seminar for troubled marriages. Both seemed to help, but then he find something else to get angry with me about. For now, we are doing individual counseling, and I pray ALOT. I would love to talk to a pastor with him, but he claims to be a non-believer. I have to take him at his word on that, although there are many things that tell me he believes but is angry. He refuses to talk with a pastor.
I am in a Bible Study right now on the Love Dare, from the movie, Fireproof. I will finish up my 40 days next week. I can see great changes since I started. I had thought it was a lost cause, and wasn't working, then it just got better. After my surgery, I will start an online bible study called the Respect Dare. It is similar to the Love Dare, but is for woman to learn how to show respect.
They are going to remove my lump next Wednesday. He has agreed to take me to the hospital and stay with me. I wasn't sure he would, but he stepped up in this area.
Last night, he had to go somewhere and I asked him to get me some gas for the lawnmower while he was out. I was going to cut the grass. He came into the house with the gas, and disappeared into the garage. I heard the lawnmower going. He cut the whole front yard. When he was done, I thanked him. He told he would get the back cut for me here soon. It is the first time, he has taken intiative with the house since he got back from Iraq. I was so proud, and thankful.
He told me about a statement his dad made, even though he knew it might upset me. We have an antique gun that belonged my husband's grandfather. His dad is not comfortable with it being in the house with him gone. I prefer that it not be in the house, but if they take it out when he doesn't live at home, and bring it back when he does, it feels like a slam on me. I was hurt but decided not to argue. Later, after he cut the grass, I told him, how I felt and that I don't think either of them have any malintentions with wanting to remove it. I just feel like if they take it out of the house, to please keep it gone, even when he comes back home. He said he understands my feelings and will not make any decisions based on his parents, but based on what we feel is appropriate. He also said he has never had any doubts about it being in the house with me. He said, his dad is just worried because guns freak me out (my daddy killed himself in 2008 with a gun), and doesn't want anything to accidentally happen with me or the kids. I believe that they are being very honest and not trying to be mean, because I feel the same way. it was a hard conversation, but ended very well. Disagreements have been really hard becuase they get so heated. So I asked about this one. He said I handled this disagreement much better than in the past, and could get used to this. He still had a little bit of defensiveness, but once he realized that I wasn't going to argue, he backed off. It was nice to see progress and have him acknowledge it.
I gave him an Easter card, not based on how I feel at this moment, but how I want to feel. For the most part it was true, but with hurt, it is sometimes hard to do the loving cards.
We have a marriage seminar that the army is putting on Saturday. My family is going to keep the kids and he has agreed to go out to dinner afterwards to try to reconnect. I have been asking for this for awhile and he has ignored my request.
Thanks for the support so far.
We did go to a marriage counselor for a while. We went to a marriage seminar for troubled marriages. Both seemed to help, but then he find something else to get angry with me about. For now, we are doing individual counseling, and I pray ALOT. I would love to talk to a pastor with him, but he claims to be a non-believer. I have to take him at his word on that, although there are many things that tell me he believes but is angry. He refuses to talk with a pastor.
I am in a Bible Study right now on the Love Dare, from the movie, Fireproof. I will finish up my 40 days next week. I can see great changes since I started. I had thought it was a lost cause, and wasn't working, then it just got better. After my surgery, I will start an online bible study called the Respect Dare. It is similar to the Love Dare, but is for woman to learn how to show respect.
They are going to remove my lump next Wednesday. He has agreed to take me to the hospital and stay with me. I wasn't sure he would, but he stepped up in this area.
Last night, he had to go somewhere and I asked him to get me some gas for the lawnmower while he was out. I was going to cut the grass. He came into the house with the gas, and disappeared into the garage. I heard the lawnmower going. He cut the whole front yard. When he was done, I thanked him. He told he would get the back cut for me here soon. It is the first time, he has taken intiative with the house since he got back from Iraq. I was so proud, and thankful.
He told me about a statement his dad made, even though he knew it might upset me. We have an antique gun that belonged my husband's grandfather. His dad is not comfortable with it being in the house with him gone. I prefer that it not be in the house, but if they take it out when he doesn't live at home, and bring it back when he does, it feels like a slam on me. I was hurt but decided not to argue. Later, after he cut the grass, I told him, how I felt and that I don't think either of them have any malintentions with wanting to remove it. I just feel like if they take it out of the house, to please keep it gone, even when he comes back home. He said he understands my feelings and will not make any decisions based on his parents, but based on what we feel is appropriate. He also said he has never had any doubts about it being in the house with me. He said, his dad is just worried because guns freak me out (my daddy killed himself in 2008 with a gun), and doesn't want anything to accidentally happen with me or the kids. I believe that they are being very honest and not trying to be mean, because I feel the same way. it was a hard conversation, but ended very well. Disagreements have been really hard becuase they get so heated. So I asked about this one. He said I handled this disagreement much better than in the past, and could get used to this. He still had a little bit of defensiveness, but once he realized that I wasn't going to argue, he backed off. It was nice to see progress and have him acknowledge it.
I gave him an Easter card, not based on how I feel at this moment, but how I want to feel. For the most part it was true, but with hurt, it is sometimes hard to do the loving cards.
We have a marriage seminar that the army is putting on Saturday. My family is going to keep the kids and he has agreed to go out to dinner afterwards to try to reconnect. I have been asking for this for awhile and he has ignored my request.
Thanks for the support so far.
--April
Topic: RE: New-Introduction
Welcome, April, we're so glad you're here. Glad Yvonne chimed in with her greeat advice about the effect of WLS on a marriage... this is of course a huge change in who you are as a person, so your husband is of course going to be uncomfortable that the safety of what he knew before will be different. I can't imagine how much more complicated that is for him, coming back from Iraq. He needs reassurance that you will still be his wife as you change. I'm guessing as he gets less supportive, it's not you he's not supporting, it's his fear that the weight loss will change you in a way that takes you farther from him. I know my wife deals with these issues with me, and she doesn't have the big changes of being a recent veteran to deal with as well. This is a period of great great change for your husband... he doesn't feel normal and now his wife is changing! This can be very frightening. Yvonne is right on that some kind of counseling would be very helpful if you could find a counselor you're comfortable with. Can you see a minister to start with? Often, ministers will see a couple for a while, then maybe refer to a professional counselor they think will be good for you...
Such love for your family comes through in your post. They're lucky to have you... and lucky that you are a person willing to take such a bold step to improve your health. Here's another vote for your continued strength and leadership of your family and their health. Best of luck with your lump... here's hoping it's nothing to worry about.
Glad you're here, April!
Greg
Such love for your family comes through in your post. They're lucky to have you... and lucky that you are a person willing to take such a bold step to improve your health. Here's another vote for your continued strength and leadership of your family and their health. Best of luck with your lump... here's hoping it's nothing to worry about.
Glad you're here, April!
Greg
384 | 328 | 244 | 195
highest | surgery day | current | my goal
RNY (proximal--150cm) 5' 8", 55 years old
Topic: Fake it
Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for April 6, 2010
Daily Inspiration for April 6, 2010
Fake it 'til you make it.
Your life has changed dramatically in a short period of time. Whereas your days prior to surgery probably consisted more of survival techniques than anything else, your life post surgery embraces new opportunities.
Do you treat your new life as an opportunity or as a challenge? Do you face each moment with hope? Do you encourage yourself with words like, "I am getting better every day in every way?" Do you face each moment with confidence knowing that each challenge you overcome makes you stronger and healthier? Resolve to believe in your abilities today.
Action for the day: Today is a "fake-it-'til-you-make-it" day. Act as if you are confident and hopeful. Sometimes this new attitude takes quite a bit of practice, but eventually you WILL make it.
© 2010, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved. Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get our free report, How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery at www.nawls.com.
HW 611 Pre-opW 580 LW 302 GW 238
Topic: RE: New-Introduction
April,
I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. When it rains it pours. You have done an awesome job with WLS, sharing healthy habits with your children, and raising a family. I am honnored that such a brave, stong, and loving woman has joined this board that is a safe place for so many. I hope that allswell with the health issue and the scare goes away quickly. I pray that your husband is able to face his fears and you have the strength to help him.
Big Frog Kisses,
DAWN
DAWN
Topic: RE: New-Introduction
April bless your heart. Thank you for posting it here. You are right it does get lost in that long thread. I think I'll edit the original post and ask that everyone post here too.
I am sorry you are going through so much. Your husband is insecure and it is so normal. He will withdraw more if this is left unchecked. He thinks if you lose the weight that you will leave him. Do you have anyone you guys can talk to? Sweetie when your husband says you are self centered and vain, it is his insecurity talking. He is not even saying why he is really upset and I say this all the time. "We are rarely upset for the reasons we think". He may even be putting the load of his problems on you regarding Iraq too. He comes home to a changed wife and he doesn't like it. I'm sure it has been very hard on him too and I think he needs some TLC and reassurance from his wife. On top of that you're dealing with this medical situation and thank God you lost the weight and it was found. Please don't be too concerned yet about that lump. No news is good news these days and we'll be here for you.
You do have to take care of yourself and that's great that you are taking the kids to the YMCA. I just hope that you'll be able to get back on track with your husband sweetie. It is totally about him being insecure and he's saying things he doesn't even mean. I am so sorry that you are having to experience that. See if you can get the two of you to talk to someone and just make sure that if you do that you can tell your therapist that this is typical of WLS couples. Do you think that's a possibility?
You are such an awesome person saying that you are at peace. WOW...you sound like an old soul that has great insight. I too believe that things happen for a reason. Please keep us updated on all of it. Welcome to our family and I thank Molly for sending you. I'm looking forward to so much more.
hugs, Y
I am sorry you are going through so much. Your husband is insecure and it is so normal. He will withdraw more if this is left unchecked. He thinks if you lose the weight that you will leave him. Do you have anyone you guys can talk to? Sweetie when your husband says you are self centered and vain, it is his insecurity talking. He is not even saying why he is really upset and I say this all the time. "We are rarely upset for the reasons we think". He may even be putting the load of his problems on you regarding Iraq too. He comes home to a changed wife and he doesn't like it. I'm sure it has been very hard on him too and I think he needs some TLC and reassurance from his wife. On top of that you're dealing with this medical situation and thank God you lost the weight and it was found. Please don't be too concerned yet about that lump. No news is good news these days and we'll be here for you.
You do have to take care of yourself and that's great that you are taking the kids to the YMCA. I just hope that you'll be able to get back on track with your husband sweetie. It is totally about him being insecure and he's saying things he doesn't even mean. I am so sorry that you are having to experience that. See if you can get the two of you to talk to someone and just make sure that if you do that you can tell your therapist that this is typical of WLS couples. Do you think that's a possibility?
You are such an awesome person saying that you are at peace. WOW...you sound like an old soul that has great insight. I too believe that things happen for a reason. Please keep us updated on all of it. Welcome to our family and I thank Molly for sending you. I'm looking forward to so much more.
hugs, Y
Open RNY 3/30/01 260lbs - 130lbs 
Yvonne McCarthy, CLC. Health & Wellness Coach (full time volunteer). I am happy to help if I can. Visit www.bariatricgirl.com and see the Bariatric Girl blog! Also check out my Facebook Bariatric Girl Page. Photography site www.yvonnemccarthy.com .„ø¤º°¨ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨„ø¤º°¨ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ¨°º¤ø„¸¸„ø¤º°¨
Topic: RE: I am SCARED!!!!!
Hey Diane,
I have heard nothing but good things about your surgeon.
We really like Arnot and my hubby and I actually had different surgeons. His surgery was done open and mine was done lap. And of course we haven't really experienced the same things(go figure) but it does help we know what the other went through.
I tend to be the food police.....I have to stop that, a grown man does not want to be told what to eat.I I don't want him to feel like a child being scolded. I just get concern and my alter ego or split personality (whatever you call it)....the food police comes out
You know how silly us newbies get. But all in all we are doing good.
We love our support group. Its at the Vestal Library every third Wednesday 6:30-8:00pm. We are an Arnot Group but we have other surgeons patients there as well. ( Dr T's and maybe there is one Dr Mecena patient )
There is another group that meets and they are not associated with any surgeon. (There are a few different surgeons represented there)Terry has been certified by OH as a support group leader. They meet every 2nd Wednesday also at the Vestal Library but from 5:30-6:30pm. You should check one or both of them out sometime. Especially when winter rolls around and you do not want to travel to Ithaca in the bad weather. Of course Yvonne is always great..You cant go wrong checking in here.
Take Care Neighbor
Tressa Ü
I have heard nothing but good things about your surgeon.
We really like Arnot and my hubby and I actually had different surgeons. His surgery was done open and mine was done lap. And of course we haven't really experienced the same things(go figure) but it does help we know what the other went through.
I tend to be the food police.....I have to stop that, a grown man does not want to be told what to eat.I I don't want him to feel like a child being scolded. I just get concern and my alter ego or split personality (whatever you call it)....the food police comes out
You know how silly us newbies get. But all in all we are doing good.We love our support group. Its at the Vestal Library every third Wednesday 6:30-8:00pm. We are an Arnot Group but we have other surgeons patients there as well. ( Dr T's and maybe there is one Dr Mecena patient )
There is another group that meets and they are not associated with any surgeon. (There are a few different surgeons represented there)Terry has been certified by OH as a support group leader. They meet every 2nd Wednesday also at the Vestal Library but from 5:30-6:30pm. You should check one or both of them out sometime. Especially when winter rolls around and you do not want to travel to Ithaca in the bad weather. Of course Yvonne is always great..You cant go wrong checking in here.
Take Care Neighbor
Tressa Ü
