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Sweetie one of the things I'd like to encourage you to let go of is any feelings of shame or blame or guilt about the past.  The past is gone and there's no need to beat yourself up any more right?  I know this from a lot of experience in beating myself up.  You will want to use all that energy to move forward.  Know that you are saving your life and in turn giving your son more of you in the end.  Gina deals with death on a daily basis and knows how precious life is.  Like Gina said, it is normal to be afraid.  When I had the surgery I wasn't really concerned because I didn't have kids and knew I couldn't continue living the way I was. 

I can't wait for you to be on the other side.  Any time you get nervous you just come here and talk to us!
hugs, Y

Thanks for your replies!

I am getting all of my water in, well... 1 liter of water, plus the skim milk my NUT wants us to get in. I'm following the surgeon's protocol for fluid intake at this point.

I will definitely call tomorrow... at the very least to get a stool softener!

I think it is pretty normal... I know I had those thoughts and fears myself, but I also knew that if I didn't do it, I'd be lucky to be around to see my children grown.  

The day of surgery I cried here and there... and really lost it just before they wheeled me into surgery... I remember the nurses (that were all great) telling me it was okay to be nervous.  I was just so pissed at myself for getting to the point to where it had to come to surgery to fix me.  

I will keep you in my prayers!  *hugs*

This afternoon I made 48 protein puddings. To make these I add a package of sugar free pudding to a vanilla protein shake mix, 3 scoops of plain protein, 3 packs of Splenda, 1 envelope of Mirilax, 4 tablespoons of Benifiber and 12 ounces of water. This makes 6 very thick puddings. I will use my daughters old infant baby spoon to eat them. I put all of them in the freezer. You have to eat them as they thaw so I won't be eating fast.

Each 1/4 cup has 23 grams of protein. Not only are they loaded with protein they contain fiber and a stool softener. Check with your doctor though before adding Miirilax and Benifiber.

I have made enough to last 10 days give or take.

I used cheesecake pudding, pistachio, cheesecake, chocolate and vanilla with a sprinkling of International Coffee Decaf and sugar free on the top of some of the vanillas.

I plan on trying to mix sugar free jello in some. You would not believe how frozen berries taste blended into the shakes. I was told to wait 2 months before adding the fruit. I have 100 ideas on how to make protein shakes.

I have been practicing post-op for 2 months.

I am full of other ideas for a soft diet and will share some soon.

Diana

Thank you so much for this wonderful message of hope! I feel better already. And yes, all you say is so very true!!! I get my up and down times. Times when I'm sooo very excited I want to scream and turn the clock on fast forward, and other times that I just want to cry and turn the clock back to before I gained all the weight that is now the course of me having to have this life changing surgery. It's true what you say that... I think because it is elective surgery, it makes it worse for me. Knowing I'm doing it to myself. But I look at you all, and can't wait to do it too!!!

Thanks again for the comforting message!