1 year

So I hit my one year anviersry 11/12 last friday yeah 133lbs gone great. Now I have to deal with the joy and shame of rapid weight loss. I have hanging arms that kill any short sleeve outfit. Lose skin around my boobs looks like 60 year old breast. Loose skin in other areas too which is upsetting. I will be saving for a few years to have plastic surgery.

Good parts weight less wonderful, much healthier, more energy. And as long as I keep clothes on with long sleeves I look great lol. I still have about 31lbs to go before I reach my healthy weight but I am so happy to be out of the 200's and into the 100's. I am commited to live healthier which is a great boost for me from years of just eating without knowledge.

Losing weight does nothing for my dating life more guys look and smile but that is about it. With the more weight I lose the more self counscious I get about my hanging skins so single hood I shall stay. I am really ok with that because of the quaility of people I have meet lately. My self worth has increase with because I take time now to care about myself not just about what I put in my body but how I treat my total self.

I went back to school to complete the degree I started but left on the table after my daughter. I am trying to condense my classes so it will only take two years to finish. I am a work in progress in many ways. I am reading and interesting article about the art of thinking and how to train yourself to think critically.  Here are a few qoutes from the article very interesting.
Ask yourself these — rather unusual — questions: What have you learned about how you think? Did you ever study your thinking? What do you know about how the mind processes
information? What do you really know about how to analyze, evaluate,... or reconstruct your thinking? Where does your thinking come from? How much of it is of “good" quality? How much of it is of “poor" quality? How much of your thinking is vague, muddled, inconsistent, inaccurate, illogical, or superficial? Are you, in any real sense, in control of your thinking? Do you know how to test it? Do you have any conscious standards for determining when you are thinking well and when you are thinking poorly? Have you ever discovered a significant problem in your thinking and then changed it by a conscious act of will? If anyone asked you to teach them what you have learned, thus far in your life, about thinking, would you really have any idea what that was or how you learned it?

For most people, most of their thinking is subconscious,
that is, never explicitly put into words. The problem is that when you
are not aware of your thinking you have no chance of “correcting" it.

Most people are not skilled questioners. Most accept the world as it is presented to them. And when they do question, their questions are often superficial or “loaded." Their questions do not help them solve their problems or make better de...cisions. Good thinkers routinely ask questions in order to understand and effectively deal with the world around them. They question the status quo. They know that things are often different from the way they are presented. Their questions penetrate images, masks, fronts, and propaganda. Their questions make real problems explicit and discipline their thinking through those problems. If you become a student of questions, you can learn to ask powerful questions that lead to a deeper and more fulfilling life. Your questions become more basic, essential, and deep.

Congratulations on your success so far! you have done very well.



As to dating.... take your time.... THINK of yourself... instead of the losers that are out there! (sounds like you are doing just that!!!)

As to the rest of your post... I'm going to take some time to think about it- before I respond.... but I will say.... I agree that most people are very easily lead... believe what is told them... never question things... I refer to this as the MOB mentallity.  So many people say they think for themselves... but they are leemings heading for the nearest cliff.


Till next time....
again CONGRATS on your continued success...

Thanks Jellen Life is quite a journey.

Tarciamarie

Congratulations on your amazing results!  Isn't Onederland (in the 100's) a GREAT place to be?  I am so happy for you.  I hope you took some pictures to memorialize the occasion.  If so, post them so we can see the new you!

Also, I am so proud of the steps that you are taking to improve yourself and your future.  Not only are you healthier now, but you are pursuing your education and working on self-improvement though your targeted readings etc that will only help to make your future much brighter and more successful.  And, all that means that you will be in a better position to provide for your dear daughter.  WAY TO GO!!

As for the skin and dating, I hope you come to realize that you should be patient and picky about men.  Any man that is worth being with someone as outstanding as yourself needs to be attracted to the person INSIDE as much as outside and would never in a million years be concerned with some saggy skin.  Honestly.  

You are beautiful, important and deserve the BEST!

Best of luck to you.  Keep up the hard work!!   

Thanks Mo, that was a super post!
Hugs, Y

I can't believe it's been a year! I remember when you were having surgery.  I need to start going back and grabbing posts from members right before they had surgery.

Now...the important part.  Dating. 
I really hope I can reach you on this.  When you say that guys just look at you and that's about it, that's because you are thinking that is what is happening.  We project our feelings about ourselves and if you think you are not worthy of dating, others will pick up on that.  How do I know?  I started dating with loose skin and hadn't been on any boards to tell me otherwise.  I met my husband who was a "celebrity" in Dallas.  I had listened to him for ten years as a radio talk show host.  I didn't know I wasn't supposed to date so I stepped on out there.  When it came time to be more intimate I explained that I had WLS and I had loose skin.  If he had decided to run at that point it would have hurt BUT that would have been best.  Instead he told me he didn't care and he ended up paying for reconstructive surgery later on.  He loved me for my heart.  I'll be totally honest with you...there are some inventive ways to feel better about yourself once you get to the intimate part.  I wore my bra a lot, I kept it kinda dark but I'm telling you that a man that sees your heart will not care.  If he does care you don't need him.  What happens when we get old and gray and wrinkled?  That's not what love is about.  What I'm trying to tell you is that you are putting yourself in a prison regarding dating. I was lucky....I just didn't know any better. 

Please if you have any questions, let me know.  I think this applies to the last part of your post too!  Your subconscious is telling you that you are not good enough to date.  Turn it around and KNOW you are fabulous!!  I hope this helped.  I really tried my best to explain this the best way I could.  I know Kathylovesred is dating and maybe she can contribute.
Big hugs, Y

Thanks!  This helped me a lot!

I'm glad Molly.  If we "believe" things that may not be exactly right we cannot see another way.  That's why it's key to discuss anything that comes to mind because if you don't ask or talk about it you can never see another angle or possibility. 

I have told this story many times.  I didn't see another post-op for 3 years after surgery.  I "assumed" that I was supposed to have the surgery and keep the weight off so every time I started to regain I fixed it because it is what I believed was supposed to happen.  I literally didn't know better.  If I had met other post-ops that regained I would have automatically believed that I was certainly not special because I failed so many times before.  The same thing happened with the dating. I did not know that had stopped others because I never talked to anyone before that.  Sometimes our minds can put us in a prison...just like the obesity did.  I hope that helps.
hugs, Y