Allow yourself to experience emotions.

Allow yourself to experience emotions.

Some of us have been so hurt and tortured by our past that we have built walls up to protect ourselves. We have shut down our emotions, knowing if we can't feel something, it can't hurt us. But if you cut yourself off from the possibility of being hurt, you also close yourself to the possibility of feeling positive emotions like love and joy. 

Let other people in. Open your heart and spirit to people who genuinely care for you and support your new lifestyle. These people are less likely to let you down or to hurt you. And when you do get hurt (because eventually you will), learn to communicate your feelings to the person whose words or deeds were painful to you. You can create a deeply fulfilling new life by opening yourself up to emotions. 

Action for the day: Do you wall off your emotions to avoid being hurt? In your journal, write a letter to your emotions. Encourage them to come out, gently. As always, seek counsel when you need it.
© 2010, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. All rights reserved.
Daily Inspirations are provided by the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery.

very good points in this article! thanks for sharing...

Such good advice! This is something I am all too familiar with, having spent a lifetime of "protecting" myself.  You are so right though, we end up keeping all feelings at bay, including the good ones.  Perhaps this is why I read some WLS patients end up so emotional after surgery, just a thought. I have not had my surgery yet so I don't know.  You are right though, as much as we try to protect ourselves from hurt, we will all feel it eventually. The key is how to deal with it and to face it. You made good suggestions that I will try.  Thank you!

Vicki

Wow Vicki you are so "in the know" and you haven't even had surgery.  Just WOW!  Usually the reason most post-ops get really emotional after surgery is because we use food to self medicate our pain away...emotional and physical.  It is essentially like going into withdrawal because we can't use our normal "drug". Our goal is not to feel...you are indeed correct.  There are ways to work on those feelings not sucking the life out of us and one of the things we can do is to work on having an attitude of gratitude and not allowing things that we can't control take up a bunch of our energy.  The serenity prayer is a real great barometer for us.  I love your insight Vicki.  I hope you'll be hanging around for a long time.
hugs, Y 

Thanks Yvonne for the positive words, they mean a lot.  I have been lurking and reading for quite a long time, and quite honestly sitting on the fence about my decision to go forward with WLS. I recently had a breast cancer scare, but I got the all clear, no cancer, so now must decide for sure. I was so scared and confused about going thru with the surgery, but now I am trying to get back the enthusiasm I had a few months ago.  The support here really helps.  Thanks again! 

Bibette, I know this may be a silly question because people do it to me all the time in Texas.  Are you anywhere close to Costa Mesa?  I will be speaking at the OH event there and if you've never been to one it is a HIGH like you've never experienced.

Now I can't tell you how it feels to be on the fence about WLS because I made my decision in 15 minutes.  It might be because I spent 30 years obese after doing every diet known to man and I positively knew I could not get it off by myself.  Along the way I have met some phenomenal people including a guy that lost 200 pounds 3 times.  He finally kept it off after surgery.  Do you have any questions?  Do you want to think out loud and see if any of us have ever thought those thoughts?  Please let me know if we can help and many MANY blessings that you are clear of cancer.  I lost my mom to cancer (colon) and I know it has certainly stolen the most loving person in my life.  I'm so glad you're OK.  I'm so happy you're here!!
hugs, Y

Oh thanks I am glad to be here too!

Unfortunately I live about 100 miles north of San Francisco, way up in Northern Ca, and it is not possible for me to attend the event in Costa Mesa this time around.  If I can arrange it perhaps one of the other events later in the year.

You know this has been a year full of ups and downs for me.  I was all set to have the surgery, was starting the pre op tests, and then in Nov my Dad became ill, also with colon cancer, and he passed away in Dec. That was a setback for me I started to question my decision, I don't know, just fear I guess.  Then I made up my mind again to go forward with WLS, so I had a mammogram, and then the lump was discovered. I live in a very small town, and it takes a while to see the right doctors for everything, anyway I finally got the news just last week that everything is ok, but I still have to have the lump out.  For some reason this time I am having a tough time getting back to the same determination to have surgery.  I guess I am doing what almost everyone does, questioning if I have tried hard enough on my own.  From last year in June to now I have lost around 70 lbs, so I have had some success. Of course I have lost and regained the same 75 plus pounds several times over the last 30 years, so it's always a question of keeping it off.  At my age  I now have bone on bone osteoarthritis, so exercising is extremely difficult.
Today I ordered the book  Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies, I figure after all the research and reading, I will go forward with all the pre op stuff and hope somewhere along the way I will get the real zing back,  if not I can always cancel it, but I know in my heart it's the right decision.
Coming here everyday and finding such support for those like you is really helping. I can't imagine going through this without it!    Thank you all so much!!

By the way,  I am so sorry to hear about your Mom,  I so understand how you feel, sometimes I think there is nothing worse that losing a parent, or a child.

Vicki

I think I was emotional after surgery (and off an on before) because I was changing my body.  Cutting off of a large portion of my stomach was a scary proposition and an act that could not be reversed..  What worked for me was reminding myself that I had WAY more stomach than my little body needed - it was allowing me to make myself about 100 pounds heavier than my body needed to be.  Now, my stomach is just the right size.
And yea, I won't be eating humongous portions of food as entertainment; been there, done that.

Anne

You know that is a really great way to think about it,  I may borrow it from you!