Respect yourself

Weight Loss Surgery Support:
Daily Inspiration for April 8, 2010 Katie Jay, MSW

Respect yourself.

If your self image is built on self respect, and not on the tenuous respect of others, then you are invincible. When you base how you feel about yourself on what others think, then you go into the world vulnerable. And no one gets through this life without criticism or unkind words directed at them from time to time. No one.  

Be yourself. Be the person you want to be. Be a person you can respect. How do you do that? Identify your values and live by them. When you develop a track record of meeting your own standards, then no matter what negative comments come your way, they bounce off you and you are not so deeply hurt. People treat each other poorly out of jealousy and out of their own poor self image. When someone puts you down, they are attempting to elevate themselves. Don't let them get to you. 

Action for the day: In your journal, make a list of your values and the standards by which you want to live. Work on living up to your own ideals. Impress only yourself. 
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I have found the absolute best rule for me to aspire to is "The Golden Rule".  I am amazed at how many people will easily say or do things to others that would never be tolerated if directed at them.  I think so many have lost the ability to understand what it's like to stand in another's shoes.  Even as a young child I was able to understand what it must feel like to be the person on the end of the abuse.  I think my love of animals is an extension of that....I feel for the helpless and the abused.

Another great rule is to respect and nurture your surgery.  I have found that when we don't take care of our tool that it would be just like we've left it out rain and let it rust.  It will no longer work properly like it was intended to.

Thanks Molly!

Here, here!
I am especially reminded by your words of a young women I know who bases her self worth on the presence or absence of a boyfriend.  When alone, her self esteem plummets and she wallows in self loathing.  This saddens me because as you are stating above being yourself with self respect has to come first and foremost.  I also agree that when someone puts you down they are attempting to elevate themselves; I don't think we do this on a conscious level.  I ask myself if I am gossiping in a perhaps negative way, am I somehow trying to make myself look better? 
It is difficult to live up to our own ideals all the time but well worth the challenge.
Appreciated your posting.
Anne

Anne you know when we place our happiness on anything on the outside we only set ourselves up for disappointment.  I call it going "straight to happy" instead of thinking that you need anything to "make" yourself happy.  I know so many that think that losing weight is the golden ticket to perfect happiness but it is not. Life is always life.  I would however rather deal with my problems or whatever life throws at me at my current weight than the one I was previously.  My attitude of gratitude makes a huge difference in my general outlook.  I am so grateful to be out of my prison of obesity that I count my blessings every day.
hugs, Y