WOW I Don't Hate My Body Anymore

Many Years ago I read a book about PCOS, and it described this woman getting out of the shower and getting ready to "Do Battle" with her body, how apropros to my daily routine. So here I am now creeping up on my 3 year surgiversary finding my routine becoming less and less a 'battle'.  About a week ago while looking at myself in the mirror, I was able to say out loud "I Don't Hate My Body Anymore" WOW "I Don't Hate My Body Anymore". I'm not at Love yet, but I'm on my way and that I do love!

Be Well my Friends

 

 

 

 

 

I love this.  I think I told the story of my mom's last wish was for me to love myself.  It was such a foreign concept and seemed absolutely impossible.  I too can say that I strive to be better each day and I strive to help others with the same thing.  That's why I talk about stinkin' thinkin' because it is hard to love yourself when you are in the midst of that.  I hope you find your way to loving your body as soon as possible because I know the person that inhabits that body is a beautiful and loving person that deserves all she has coming to her.
hugs, Y

Yvonne my dear friend Thank you. I do not think I read your story about your mom's last wish. I would Love to read that if you wouldn't mind sending or posting the link.

If you read at the bottom of my profile (where it says "my story") there's a story that was in the 2004 OH magazine.  I know I probably need to go back and edit it but it tells the story about my mom.  Thanks for asking...

PROFILE

My Dear Sweet Yvonne. I have chills and my eyes are watering up.  The desperation our wonderful parents go through to make sure we can live a happy and healthy life.  I was SO BLESSED to be able to go through this journey with my mom. She had her rny 6 months before I did. I've been trying to get her to update her profile here because I am SO proud of her! And not just for her success with her rny. The thought of losing her is something I know one day I am going to have to face, but I never want it to be today. My Parents and my husband and I are a very close unit, in fact we live next door to one another.  My dad, used to say occasionally how pretty my face is. One day I finally told him what that really means to us; "You're so pretty it's just to bad about your body!" He never said it again while I was overweight. Now occassionally he will say it with a big smile on his face, followed by how proud he is of me, and always letting me know he is proud of the Whole me.

It is a Blessed Life.

Oh sweetie, thank you.  I want to respond to several more posts on this thread so I'm multi tasking.  I admit it....I'm watching American Idol and recording Lost. 

WOW, I don't think I knew about your mom having surgery.  How incredible that she could do something to save her life so she can be around longer.  I hope she does update her profile and I'd love to see it.  I hope you tell her how much I admire you because you are so very special.  That's amazing that you live next door!  And I so understand what you mean about "the pretty face".  I carry a before picture in my wallet and I've considered reprinting it and putting across the bottom "You don't have to be nice and say I have a pretty face".  I usually get 2 comments.  The pretty face one and "wow, you look really different:.  I tell them that's what I was going for. 

What a beautiful statement about knowing that you know you have to face it but not today.  I won't kid you that it was the most difficult thing I've ever been through.  I had forgotten this but before surgery I was in such isolation that I never went out in public.  I spent the last year of my mother's life driving home 3 hours every weekend because we knew she had cancer.  When it was time for the memorial service I was so messed up that I suddenly realized that all these people would see me after years of hiding.  They had to have all thought..."poor Yvonne, she's really let herself go".  It was unbearable.  I couldn't hide, I had to be there and I would have changed places with her in a split second.  I was so worthless feeling and just kept asking why would this world have to lose someone like my mom.  She was the ultimate gracious lady that had that ability to make you feel like you were the only person that existed when you talked to her.  She loved me unconditionally.  My dad loved me but he didn't like me very much because I couldn't beat the obesity.  I spent 99% of my life trying to win his approval. 

I truly believe that somehow some way she did something from where she was to line up this surgery for me.  Truly the sun and the moon and the stars aligned because there were so many reasons this shouldn't have happened for me.  I had the worst possible insurance and trust me, it was a miracle that I got this surgery at all.   I don't want to make this long and boring but I went from being a morbidly obese woman in hiding to a world wind romance with a man I had listened to on the radio for ten years.  It's a long wild story for another time.  I never take it for granted because all I have to do is remember how far I've come.  Wow, I would so much like to meet you and several other members here in person.  How great would that be?
smooches, Y

I was diagnosed with PCOS at 16 years old. My bestest girlfriend was diagnosed a little over 3 years ago. It is much more common then people might think..and very sad. When I finally was able to believe that the weight gain was not all my fault it made life so much easier for me. I am so glad that you are on the road to loving your body. I don't love mine yet..love myself just not my body. I heard Dr.Phil say once that body image and self image are not the same thing..and I was like WOW...I never thought I could love myself even though I did not love what I looked like. My friends tell me that I seem comfortable in my own skin and it shows..just now my skin is smaller then it was before! March 19th is 5 months post op for me and I feel wonderful. Congrats on being almost three years out and still being involved on the message board. It means so much to us "babies" on the boards.

Hugs and Smiles..Katie

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 33.  I in fact had to diagnose myself and go to the doctor and ask for the appropriate lab tests to prove my theory.  I still remember so clearly my gyn saying "well you DO have PCOS............" I sat there waiting for her to tell me what to do, I left with not even as much as a brochure.  To say I was PO'd was an understatment. I came home and started to learn about it. My symptoms were classic , I should have been diagnosed at 23!  I ABSOULUTLEY agree with you, I think it is still a very under diagnosed and under treated 'syndrom'. When I was diagnosed the literature said that they beleivied that 10% of women have it. I think it may be closer to 20 or 25%.  I am sure you were pivitol in helping your BFF get diagnosed. I've helped a few friends with asking there docs the questions to ask, they were ALL diagnosed.  Unfortuantly by the time the symptoms really present themselves our weight is WEIGH up there. And we ALL  know how well we get listen to about anything when we're fat!   Well I guess you can see my opinions and feelings are still strong regarding PCOS..lol

I think I agree with Dr. Phil about self image and body image. While I feel they are closley related I do think they are different. Before my surgery it seemed to me my only self image issue was my body.  I've always felt my personality was good. But always over compensated because of my fat body.  I honestly don't think I will ever stop striving to be perfect even though I really don't think such a thing exists. I guess we acheive perfection the day we die, and I would like to make that day NEVER happen....LOL.

As for still being here; it really is people like you and Yvonne that keep me coming back. Just because you are 'only' 5 months out does not mean you have nothing to teach. It is the 'newbies' that teach us 'oldies' all the newer research!  And of course it is the true successes like Yvonne that teach us how to make it all work!

Be Well my Cyster

PS There is a pcos support group. I am a member, but honestly haven't spent lots of time there. I will pm you the link.

PS of the PS: Would it be possible to bring your pink font one shade darker? when I reply to it I can see it ok, but on the board itself it is really hard for me to read.

I can for sure make my pink darker :) Is this better? I don't want to give anyone eye strain..lol.

I had surgery for my PCOS at 16..they did a left ovary wedge resectioning and took out one cyst that was there. We were told by an old doctor at the time that it was minor surgery and was a way to cure the PCOS. We found out several years later at Iowa City hospitals..which is like Mayo Clinic but closer...that it WAS a MAJOR surgery and that it is not something that they should have done!! My parents were so very upset as they thought they were doing the right thing for me. I don't know if it was the right thing or not..but I do have two beautiful little girls and I don't know if it would have been possible to have them without the ovary surgery. I guess we will never know for sure. 

Yes I was very involved in getting my best girlfriend diagnosed. She was having all the same issues I was and not getting any better and still gaining weight. Since her diagnosis she has lost 24 pounds and is feeling much better. She had an IUD put in to help with her cycle..that part scared me alot..but she is doing well with it. I would not wish this on any woman and I do agree with you that more then 10% of women have PCOS. I wish they would do more studies and find out if it is hereditary as I would like to know what the chances are of me passing this down to my daughters. I pray all the time that they never have to go through all the issues I have had to deal with.

I am so glad to know that something I am saying might be helping someone else in their weight loss journey. This site and board have helped me more then I could have ever imagined..I wi**** was a requirement for surgery to have to be active on a positive site like this one to help keep us all going.

Thanks for the link..I joined the group :)

Be Blessed..Katie

P.S. my girlfriend is one of my biggest cheerleaders..she is currently trying to give me all her clothes..lol..she has been so awesome through the surgery that I know at heart she didn't agree with..I love her for that:)

 "P.S. my girlfriend is one of my biggest cheerleaders..she is currently trying to give me all her clothes..lol..she has been so awesome through the surgery that I know at heart she didn't agree with..I love her for that:) "
This is a true friend!!

 

I also wish they would do more studies on pcos.  It's been diagnosable since the 30's (Stein-Leventhal Syndrom). Do you know if they gave your mom or your grandmother DES?  As for being hereditary who knows, but you do know what to watch for and how to control it. Now that you have taken the measures you have with your diet you will pass that to your daughters and even if they do have it, it will keep the symptoms from acting up.

You are SO blessed to have your children. I do not have any YET, and I am getting very old (baby making wise)  but I won't give up the hope. I'm glad you joined the group, you're going to be an awesome addition. You would probably be surprised at how many people can be helped by what you know and say.

Be Well My Friend

PS My eyes say THANK YOU for the darker pink ^_^*!!