Hello everyone!

I am not sure if I know "Chris" or not.  Maybe someone can point me to his profile...

OK Miss Judy.  I'm going to make an observation.  I want you rethink something.  Remember that post I did about giving away the trophy?

Be prepared for weird stuff from friends and even family. Some friends will go away because you no longer are the holder of the "fattest friend trophy". Believe me, when you give that trophy to someone else, they will do all kinds of stuff to stop you.    
It's a fact. You were always the holder of the trophy but you aren't anymore and believe me, no one else wants it.  
So after you give that trophy away, things are going to move fast. People will talk to you that never saw you before. Make sure and appreciate it. Don't go to the dark side and resent the fact that you weren't spoken to while fat. You are part of the reason that happened anyway because you felt so bad about yourself and you were sure no one wanted to talk to you.







I want you to read the last part about going to the dark side.  I didn't realize this over night but when I was obese I certainly put out the vibe that "I'm obese, I feel ugly, I AM ugly, I know you don't want to talk to me, I know you think I'm "less than", I am unworthy of your slightest glimpse".
I was partly responsible for the way people treated me so when I started feeling better about myself, people picked up on it and started paying attention to me and talking to me and some even hit on me.  I had a moment of clarity and realized that if I resent the way others treated me before (when I was obese) that I am only hurting myself.  So true...some are vultures but some are just men that are appreciating a pretty woman that is thinking more kindly about herself.  We actually put out this glow when we feel better about ourselves and me pick up on it.  So.....throw out the resentment and smile back and enjoy it.  It is so normal to feel this way.  I did too but one day I just saw there was no benefit.  Does this make sense pretty lady?
hugs, Y

ah yes... actually it does.... quite a bit as a matter of fact.
thanks for the reminder....

muah!

Yvonne.... check out my pics that i posted today...
some of me... many that show that I'm trying to rid myself of CABIN FEVER and want to have a case of SPRING FEVER!!!

Still haven't posted recent photos- they are all in my cell phone and I haven't figured out how to get them here.... I'm so slow....

OK, I'm so glad you got what I was saying because I certainly wouldn't want to sound like I'm preaching at you.  And do we have another photographer in our group??? YES!!  OK, can you email your pix from your phone?  Email them to yourself then save them on your computer and then upload to OH.  If that doesn't work, tell me what kind of phone you have and we'll go from there.  I'm gonna get you one more time today.  You are not allowed to say "I'm so slow".  You are one of the sharpest knives in the drawer my love.  I know it seems like a teenie thing but that's an "ANT" (automatic negative statement) so now you must turn around and do a "turn around statement". 
Example: I haven't figured out how to get my pix off my phone yet but the way things have turned around for me lately, it's just a matter of time because I can do anything I put my mind to.  And....if I don't figure it out I'll ask one of my friends on the board ...you know the ones that LOVE you so much.

Nope, you can't call yourself slow without me busting you!  Seriously, I know it seems like a small thing but we have so many years of bad thinking to overcome that we need to start dumping out the negative thoughts and replacing them with turn around statements.  Trust me on this one...it works!

I can't wait to see new pictures!!!!  You made me laugh about the car being clean for 5 minutes.  I have a red car too!
hugs, Y

Off topic, I am not a photographer, per se, but I have my degree in Audio/Video Production.  Not sure why that applies, but I wanted to throw that out there.  If anyone wants to check out some of my work, you can go to thebradtaylor.com!  I know... cheap plug, but I takes them where I can gets them!   Oh, if in an office setting, some of my videos do contain strong language.  I always forget to mention that :)

Shameless plugs are ok. Thanks for the warning about language... so I can avoid that....

I had to warn, I was in college, young and out of control! :)

I lost another post.  Damn!
OK, I'll try again.  I had said that if I had done this much earlier and not been obese I would have either been a very artsy fashion designer or I would have loved to make documentaries.  Granted I don't have your film talent but I want you to see some stuff I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhmZOUs-KOE  I played a character in this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM-MSdK55xw  my weight loss video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PrSYnlE9qM  my touchy feely rescue dog message (I think the slogan choose the unchosen is pretty OK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K9bGJxZk4Q  did these a few years ago.  It's a jail cell sound when my before pix shows

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTM5cKRuNh4  I don't think anyone will understand this one and you might not either but it is still one of my favorites

The thing I love about support groups is that people of all kinds come together that would have never otherwise met.  We find out just how much we have in common.
hugs, Y

Hey Y,
Thanks for sharing your videos.  I jus****ched every one of them, great job!  I was really touched about the rescue dog.  That is totally awesome.  I am a huge pet lover.  My dog Phoebe is like my child, you will even see her pics on my profile.  She is part of us and it is a lifetime commitment.  You did an awesome thing and I just wanted to give you kudos!

Great videos though, I really enjoyed them.  Too bad about Oprah, you would be an awesome person to get up there and represent us and tell our story.  You are a real inspiration and I can tell you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.  You look so young and vibrant and 'i say again that you are truly an inspiration to all of us.  Maybe we need to start a facebook group "get Yvonne on Oprah"!

I really took to heart what you said above.  I guess I am the same kind of person who says I just want to be healthy, but I will not lie, I am really looking forward to be able to shop at "regular" stores and wear clothes that fit my personality.  For so long I have been stuck with little selection in the big and tall shops.  I always felt like they don't think overweight people (at least men) want to look good.  I really want to feel normal for one time in my life.  I really do want to not be the fattest guy in the room.  That may sound selfish, but it is something I really look forward to. 

And like your video says, people think we took the "easy way out".  I would like some of those people to live in our shoes for a week and see just how "easy" this is.  I think they would have a change of heart real quick!

But thank you again for everything, I am really enjoying speaking with you.  And I totally agree there is too much negativity on some of the forums.  Early out, I did get into it with some Ds people, and I just didn't understand why they felt they had to belittle us and act as if we are lesser people because of the surgery we chose.  I think we all are in the same boat and we all are here for the same reason and we all just need to get along and be supportive of each other.  I have actually made peace with most of them, I just think there was one woman, who I will not name, that just spread her negativity and it was becoming infectious.  I don't agree with how she goes about things, but I have tried to let it go because there is no since arguing with someone like that, because you will not change their opinion no matter how hard you try.  I have no problem getting info out there about the DS, because quite frankly I had no idea what a DS was when I came here and I think it is a great thing and a wonderful choice for many people, but I do not think it is right for everyone and all surgeries have their pro's and cons.  I don't think starting a "surgery war" is good for anyone, but that is just my opinion.

Oh well, enough about that.  Thank you for everything you are doing.  there are people here *****ally appreciate it.

I'm SOOOOOOOO glad you talked about wanting to fit in smaller clothes because in my haste of trying to make a very important point I left out another important one.  I have a term for things people say over and over in the boards that may or may not be true but members start repeating them like it's gospel.  One of them is the whole thing about that it's only cool to say "I want to get healthy".  There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with wanting to be more attractive.  That's as normal as the air we breathe but some people think that's vain.  NOPE!  Part of being obese is that some of us feel ugly so why wouldn't we want to wear normal sized clothes and feel good in them??  It's what you do with your better looking body that counts.  I have been criticized for the pictures of my and my Cello and Guitar but there will always be haters.  Oh...in case you're wondering why you have ***** in some of your words it's because you forgot to put a space in between some words and there was a word in the middle that the profanity filter kicked out.  We have a thread on the Texas Board called "The Nigh****chman" and when you don't put a space in between the night and watch you'll get the filter every time.  I thought I'd explain in case you didn't know.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to give up the "fattest friend" trophy.  You see how our disease has us thinking?  You think it's selfish?  Not at all.  When you make a statement ask yourself if you see any of the following...
blame
shame
judgment
guilt
If it does, rethink it.  Those emotions suck the life out of us.

Regarding Oprah.  I did a post about why Oprah cannot support the surgery.  Here's the link.
http://bariatricgirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/giving-oprah-weigh t-loss-surgery-break.html

And me too on the 4 legged children.  If you read through the top introduction link you'll see we have a lot of members with them.  I never had kids so they ARE my kids.  I have always liked my animals a little more than people because of the love they give.  They never saw my fat and loved my unconditionally.  Thanks for the kind words.  I especially liked the young part and I am young at heart, just older on the outside.  I had surgery when I was 47.  I'm 55 now.

I also have a post about the toxic trauma drama on the boards.  It's here:
http://bariatricgirl.blogspot.com/2009/03/toxic-trauma-drama -at-wls-ranch.html

It makes me very sad when people are told they have a less than surgery...especially when you've already had it or it is the choice you made.  It is so important to believe in your surgery 100%.  It's hard enough to do this thing without feeling like you are "less than" all over again.  The surgery wars are destroying so many lives and I know exactly who you are speaking of and I look at it like this.  I try to be grateful that I don't have to live in any of those people's heads and try to pass on by and continue down my road to success.  When people are miserable they want you to join them.  I just wish there was not so much damage done.  I know people that have failed and succeeded in all types of surgery.  I knew 3 people very closely that have died.  One died because she couldn't get the surgery and had an adult special needs daughter and could no longer lift her because of her obesity.  She and I corresponded for 9 months and we wrote everyone we could.  Famous people, doctors, everyone and no one could help.  She put her daughter and herself in the car in the garage and left the engine running.  It nearly destroyed me.  Another was a beautiful woman that shared my love of animals.  She had a DS and died a few days after surgery.  The last was a fairly long term post-op.  Cross addiction got him in the end.  Another video....this is one I did as a tribute to him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV9_G9Xgv5g

Thanks for the kind words and thanks for sharing.
hugs, Y