Now I'm Scared

I'm sorry for being a whiner again.  Sheesh.  I don't contribute anything positive to this group - I hope someday I will.  Anyhow.......I've moved on from being depressed about "my time" not being NOW  - to having butterflies in my stomach from being nervous and scared about the possibility of dying!!  I mean - I am not stupid - there are risks invovled with ANY type of surgery - but I also know that the cards aren't necessarily stacked against me by any means.  I am in good health.   I don't have any co-morbids.  I am just too fat!  So I really wish I hadn't moved onto this stage.  It feels great to not be depressed anymore, but dang!  WHAT an emotional ride this is turning out to be.

Can I just go to sleep and not wake up til this is all over?  LOL.

Suzy, I'm going to get you like I got Krysti the other day when she said her photographs didn't compare.  You contribute something positive something every time you post and a positive contribution doesn't mean that it's not about something that's bothering you.  Others will learn from it.  SO stop that!  Don't you say things like that about my friend Suzy!  Do you see how our old tapes start playing?  "I'm a whiner, I'm no good".  Turn that around with a positive statement and that's something you need to do for the rest of your life!  Every person about to go through surgery is nervous and has butterflies!  I want you to visualize yourself on the other side, healthy and happy because that's exactly where you are going to be.  I have been talking with people for almost 9 years and only one person died after surgery.  I know 2 that died before surgery from obesity.  You ARE in good health!  Stay busy, busy, busy!  Keep posting here and do stuff to distact yourself because you will be fine!

Recap: It's OK to feel nervous and scared but it's not OK to say something unkind about yourself ok missy?? Be kind to the beautiful and unique person about to change her life.  No more negative things about Suzy because she's my friend and she's wonderful!
hugs, Y

Hey Suzy,

If you check out my OH blog-I am sure I wrote my feelings and fears about surgery in the weeks,days beforehand.

It is a BIG DEAL. And really-if you had no concern..well...that would be concerning! LOL!

I think this has to do with being ready in some ways. Our minds have a very sneaky way of keepig change at bay. You KNOW there will be no going back after your surgery and that you will ABSOLUTELY change! That's a big deal too.

So-sometimes fears are just that..they are fears. Sometimes fears are distractions! Sneaky-aren't they??

Do some more writing here on the board. List out your feelings specificallly. Do a pro/con list. Give yourself the time and attention you deserve.

Hang in there!!

Peace,
T

Aw, Yvonne....     You know just what to say!!  I know I need to stop being negative.  Bad habit of mine that needs breaking!  I will work on that.      Thanks so much for your kindness - we are so lucky to have you.


Redd, I have read your story and you blow me away.  Very inspiring.   It's really very difficult for me to invision myself being on the other side.   But I'll try :)


Suzy

Ok, there is a great book (it is HUGE) called "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield who was co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul.  He has a thing called "overcoming belief with turn around statements"

Here's the process
1. My negative/limiting belief is __________.
2. The way it limits me is ______________.
3. The way I want to be, act , or feel is _____________.
4.My turnaround statement that affirms or gives me permission to do this is ________.

Example:
You say the negative statement "I can't do anything right, nothing I do is good enough, I'm not good enough"
The turnaround statement is " I can do MANY things right and each time I try something new, I learn something and I get better at it".

Book called The Magic of Believing by Claude Bristol says "The subtle force of repeated suggestion overcomes our reason.  It acts directly on our emotions and our feelings and finally penetrates to the very depths of our subsconscious minds. It's the repeated suggestion that make you believe"

I was talking to Sharon the other day about how powerful our subconcious is.  If you feed your mind with the turnaround statements, it will make such a difference at helping you avoid the stinkin' thinkin'.  There was a little commercial on TV that was the perfect example of this and I used it in a talk I did.  I've been needing to find an excuse to upload that video so I will!

Suzy, replace the stinkin' thinkin' with the attitude of gratitude.  Your subconscious brain doesn't know the difference between real and not so feed your brain the good stuff.  I promise, promise, promise this will make a difference.  I'm going to upload that part and get it up on you tube so you can see it.
hugs Y

 

First I must say you are so not being a whiner if anything I feel like it's the complete opposite..  You are sharing your feelings/fears/frustrations with an amazing group of individuals. 

Second know that we are here for you on every level.  I completely agree that if you didn't have butterflies, weren't nervous, and had the mentality that this would be a breeze then that would be cause for concern!!  

I must share that the decision to have surgery along with the entire process before during and after has been one of the most emotional roller coasters I've been on.  I'm 2+ years out and I still have good and bad days. 

It's hard to be positive when we've had so many years of that "Stinking Thinking" but part of this journey is learning to turn the negative into positive and learning how to be kind to ourselves!

Be nice to yourself and be your best advocate.  One thing that has helped me is to completely remove the dreaded three letter word from my vocabulary
(the Fa# word).  I found that using that word always brought out the negativity in me and just made me feel horrible as a person.  I feel so strong about that word that my family now knows I consider it to be just like using a curse word in my house!!  I imagine part of that comes from the years of people telling me how Fa# I was.. :(
It's just such a harsh word for me personally and whenever I used it I felt like I was degrading myself. 

My advice - keep posting, keep expressing and keep asking questions.  This is the place to do just that whether it's venting, giving advice or just chatting!  Yvonne is right you are still contributing no matter what you have to say.  You may be asking questions or expressing feelings that someone else out there needs to hear.  You are not alone and what you are saying is completely normal.  I think all of us have gone through the same things at sometime during our journey. 


Take some deep breaths, remember to smile and don't forget we are here for you!!  :)

So true what you said Traci!!  Suzy, have you been introduced to that term? Stinking Thinking?  I'm going to add a post about "overcoming limiting belief and replacing with turnaround statements".

It's hard to be positive when we've had so many years of that "Stinking Thinking" but part of this journey is learning to turn the negative into positive and learning how to be kind to ourselves!

Also members, please use this anytime you want.  All you have to do is right click and choose copy and then go to your post and right click and choose paste.

Suzy-

I was in this 'stage' until the moment Dr. Pain [I kid you NOT], the anethesiologist, put me out of my proverbial misery.  I'm pretty sure he recognized those -deer in the headlights-I'm gonna bolt off this table in two seconds--eyes I had going on and mercifully told me it was time to go 'night, night' -- mask on--lights out!!

Like you, I had no illusions.  Surgery has risks.  I had no comorbs [yet], was in realitively 'good' health, and a mom to four small kids. However, I knew I'd reached the breaking point.  I was no longer living, I was merely existing.  I hated it.  I hated watching life pass me by and being unable to participate in things with my family because I was fat, tired and in pain.

If you've done all your research, and feel 100% confident with your choices and trust your surgeon...ride out the fear...because when you wake up on the other side--it will be SO worth it.  Perhaps not initially, because early out is HARD.  However, when the weight starts falling off, the scale going down, down ... down and you feel like you are really living--it will be worth every moment.

--Danelle

Dr. Pain?????????   I'm dying!!!!!!!!!

Great posts everybody!!

Hi Suzy, I don't think you're being negative but I think you are feeling negative. Your time will be here before you know it, and you're going to be to busy training yourself for your new life to stress about being put under. Which btw scares the bloody hell outa me too!! Right now is the time to get a jump start on healthy eating and moving that georgous body. Take a look at Yvonnes recipe for Life, and keep asking for support. And asking for support is much different than whinning and being negative.