New member introduction

Hello to all from Western Iowa. I had my RNY surgery Feb. 9, 2004. Highest weight and my surgery weight was 257, got down to around 174 and now I'm back up to 203. I joined this group for support because I feel that when I don't follow a diet plan to the T that I am a failure. I need support to get down to a healthier weight. I joined OH back in 2004 but left it until recently.


I have been married for almost 18 years to one heck of a guy and with this marriage I have been blessed with 2 wonderful kids. My son is 16 and my daughter is 12.

I decided to have the surgery back in 2003 because I thought I was going to die of a heart attack and would not be around to raise my kids. I had a hard time tieing my shoes, putting on socks, wiping my bum and more. I would sweat while trying to put on makeup. Most of all, I owed it to my husband to become healthier as this was not the woman he married nor intended to be married to. I became lazy and unable to control my eating habits and patterns as well as food choices. This surgery gave me the greatest TOOL in fighting against obesity.

It's now up to me to continue on the weight loss journey and to lose the extra 53 lbs I still have. I am ready to achieve this goal b/c my 20 year class reunion is this summer so I hope to have some of it gone by then.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to post to the group and I look forward to future communications.

Happy losing!

I asked Sharon to post this here so it won't get lost in the introduction thread.  We've got to help her understand that she didn't get the necessary education in order to keep that regain off and so now it's time to fix it.  How brave she is to tell her story and in a way the high school reunion can be used to her advantage because accountability keeps us in line.  I hope you'll join me in wrapping your arms around her and tell her she has not failed....only slipped and we'll get her back in no time!
hugs, Y

Hi Sharon!

Welcome to this board. I am new on this particular board-but am SO glad to be here.

As Yvonne said-it's really not about win/fail. These victories are taken a step at a time and sometimes a bite at a time.

It sounds to me like you have a VERY clear memory of what life used to be like when you could hardly move. I remember mine like that too.

It's VERY frightening to see the scale move up. The thing we HAVE got to remember is that it really is UP to us. Do you trust yourself? It's a big question really.

I had grown accustomed to not really trusting myself. I figured I had messed up my life and body and I was just NOT capable. The thing is though-you most certainly CAN do this. You did it before and it's not that much different now-not really.

My suggestions go like this (I use them on myself all the time! LOL!) take what you like and leave the rest-as they say!:

1. Write DOWN everything you eat. Use an online tool if you are comfortable with one. You know-unless you are REALLY super special or have a really busted thyroid that it is Calories in/Calories burned-etc.

2. Make sure you are current with your labs. Many of us start to shy away from the doc when we see a gain-or even just because we feel like we are doing fine-and don't want to bother. Check to see where you are at-it can make a HUGE difference to how you feel.

3. DO NOT isolate. That means even coming on here to talk to folks. The more we stay alone in our heads-..well...it's just not good to stay in our heads listening to what I call "The committee" LOL! They tend to be a bit negative.

4. Do something today that you didn't do yesterday. That is PROGRESS. It proves that you CAN change and grow. If you walked for 2 mins yesterday-walk for three today. Just do ONE thing new.

OK-that is all I got for now-but I really just wanted to pop in and say HI and HECKS yeah-you can do this! Pfft-all is SO not lost!!

Hugs and Peace,
T

What an awesome response! So many many good points.  I especially like the isolation thing. We should come here and talk it out when we are tempted to eat when we shouldn't.  Really a great post!
hugs, Y

Welcome Sharon !  You can do this!  

Sharon - my simple mantra when it seems like I'm faced with difficult choices:  I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Use it well.  Use it often.

Bless you!

Kathy so glad you said that!  I found that post.  Sharon read this post and I think you'll be inspired.  The first part is from a blog called Pamelot but the post is written by a wonderful lady named Shari.  Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The original thought for this post came from a wonderfully brave and incredibly successful poster on the OH board, Shari. So if you're reading this Shari - you rock and are such an inspiration to me.

I have spent a lot of time thinking lately about life after WLS. The last 7 months have been an incredible journey! I am so close to getting to the "century" mark of losing 100 pounds that I can taste it! I swear - when my body gets close to a big milestone like this - it comes to a screaching halt - like it's not quite sure we can do this. To be honest - it has been an awful long time since my body was in this territory to begin with. I just don't think it quite believes we're here. So I have stalled out about 2 pounds from the mark. I'm trying my best to just be patient and ride it out. I'm getting to the point where I can eat more normally. I am keeping more food down and therefore need to work harder at making those good food choices. And so this is where the rubber meets the road I guess. I am coming to terms with the changes that having this surgery has made to my life. Changes like getting my protein in first when I eat, taking my vitamins, how much I can eat, dealing with my emotions instead of eating them away. These are not easy changes to make by any means, but I am realizing I can do hard things. I didn't think I could - but I can. Here is a quote from Shari that has been worded perfectly:

Here it is: YOU CAN do hard things.
I know, you're saying, "What's your point?"

Sometimes, when faced with a challenge-- especially if you're a recovering
addict as so many of us are, when you approach something difficult, your inner voice says, "Holy crap-- I can't DO that"...and you do an about-face-- you reach for the drug (or Ring Ding) of choice. To feel uncomfortable..and not to comfort yourself, is a hard thing --but you can do hard things.

When it's late and you're tired, and you know you are supposed to walk, you
said you would, and it's looking like it might rain-- it's hard as hell to lace
those sneakers up and get out there---but you can do hard things.

Protein shakes can taste yucky. It's hard to remember all those calcium
supplements. It's hard to get 64 oz of water in. It's hard to plan meals, buy
expensive and healthy choices, stay out of the cake in the lounge at work--but you can do hard things.

You don't have to self-medicate. You don't have to eat those chips. You
don't have to duck and avoid every unpleasant, difficult challenge in your path. Sometimes, the best bet is to admit their existance..."Yes, hard things, I see you trying to get in my way, but you know what? I CAN DO HARD THINGS!"

Sometimes this means having to survive a host of feelings you never felt
before because you never let yourself feel them before-- stress, confusion,
anger, rage. You can't numb them out or sand off their edges-- you have to stand right in your space and let them have a go at you-- and grit your teeth, and say to yourself, "Go ahead, get in my way. I'll get through this. I can do hard things."

And you will find that you will survive them. And as you survive them,
you will face new ones, standing a little taller, because in time you will
eventually understand and rely on the fact that you can do hard things.

And eventually the "pass me some Ben and Jerry's--my boss is a jackass" response gives way to something new-- something that sounds more like this:

"Go ahead, Boss, bring it on. I'll have that on your desk by five."
"No thanks, Nancy, it's gorgeous but I really can't have an eclair
right now."
"I guess I could just park back there and walk."
"It's only 8 ounces and I don't have to love the stuff, I'll just drink it
quickly."
"If I spend ten minutes planning now, I won't be faced with tough choices
later."

Post RNY living is no joke. It's not easy. It's not fun. It's not all
"Whee, I'm a size 6!" There were days I *literally* cried because a kid at a
store could have a cookie and I couldn't. I felt sorry for myself and holed up
in my jammies, burning candles, and chatting here to avoid my fridge.

When I started, I could literally not walk further than my car, which
is about 100 feet from my door. I bargained with myself that getting down to
maybe 250 pounds would be JUST FINE, I didn't need more than that
because I though to ask more from myself was ridiculous, impossible-- who the hell loses 220 pounds? That's not even humanly possible, seriously!And I found out the answer to who does that : it's ME. *I* can lose 220 pounds-- I know it because I *did* it .

I can manage my intake. I can get in my supplements. I can learn to accept
my new, imperfect body. And with planning and management, I can make a post op life that still provides pleasure, joy and fulfillment.

I don't do those things because they are easy-- I do them because they're
hard, but I *can*.

I can do hard things.

And so can you. And you will. So the next time it's all too much (and it is
for me too, although less often as I grow), look your RNY challenge--
whatever it is--- boldy in the face and say, "I can do this. I can do
hard things."

Then pull out all the stops and grab the brass ring-- it's there for the
taking!

And that is what I have learned on this journey. I can do hard things! Who knew? I cannot eat that piece of cake! I cannot eat those cookies! I can say no thank you! I can RUN! I can run 6 miles! I can live like this - my post-WLS life is OK. I can do this. It can be hard at times, but I can do it. I will do it.

 

Hi Sharon and welcome to what I think is the best group on OH. You won't be told everything you are doing wrong, instead your will be offered ideas on solutions. I also think some of the smartest and most 'successful'  people are in this group.

I think ms Redd gave some excellent advice about writing it down, and some of the online places will break it down in percentages etc like fitday.com. I have chosen to not use the word 'diet' any longer. It's completly psycological semantics but I 'failed' at every diet I ever tried so now I refer to my food selection and daily intake as healthy choices.  I also try to make my mantra's positive, like instead of "i don't want to get fat" I say "I will stay trim and healthy". My Newest Mantra (by help of Yvonne) is Get Movin......

Welcome Sharon ....You're home.