What do you do to stop the "negative"

I've had one hell of a summer. Lots going on so I really consider my 'depression' situational. It will get better. But in the interim I would love to hear what others do to keep themselves from wallowing in their negative thoughts, and staying positive.

Thank you

Saara

 

PS: The blue smilie is actually a protest against the add this buttons.....not meant to represent my mood, I'll be changing it in a day or so.

This may sound entirely "cliche" but whether or not people consider it commercial or crap or whatever, it is a short book and full of good info.  Go get the book "The Secret".  Just trust me.  The second part of the solution is that I am a certified Life Coach and if you've got the time I will contribute my time for free.  I will offer that to anyone in my group.  I want to type a small page from the secret.

Here's the problem. Most people are thinking about what they don't want, and they're wondering why it shows up over and over again.

The only reason why people do not have what they want is because they are thinking more about what they don't want than what they do want..  Listen to your thoughts, and listen to the words you are saying.  The law is absolute and there are no mistakes.

An epidemic worse than any plaque that humankind has ever seen has been raging for centuries.  It is the "don't want" epidemic. People keep this epidemic alive when the predominantely think, speak, act, and focus on what they "don't want".  But this is the generation that will change history, because we are receiving the knowledge that can free us of this epidemic! It begins with you, and you can become a pioneer of this new thought movement by simply thinking and speaking about what you want.

Another part:
If you're looking at a mountain of debt, feeling terrible about it, "I feel really bad because of all this debt I've got".  You're just affirming it to yourself. You feel it on every level of your being.  That's what you are going to get more of.

The Secret gets a back rap.  No matter what you believe...whether you are a deeply spiritual person or a devout Christian you can exchange a few words and get the knowledge offered here.  We are particularly bad about throwing the baby out with the bath water.  That means that because one statement may not be agreeable to you that you throw out the whole book.  You lose so much when you do that.

Here's a simple example.  If I were to somehow be able to adjust your scale and make it say 5 pounds less.  You would go out into the world and be "up" and glowing and people would pick up on it and would return it to you unless they were in their own funk.  The same would be true if I increased your scale.  You would go out with your eyes down and would drain the energy from others.  I swear this works.  Your attitude of gratitude makes the difference.  What if you say "I don't feel like be grateful"?  Well then you do exercises to find the things you are grateful for.  Every morning I visualize me standing in front of that camera the night before surgery...suffocating in my own skin....wanting to be dead.  I can come up with a great deal of things to be grateful for.  Perspective is important.  Imagine being in Haiti right now.

There is a GREAT saying about "acting your way into right thinking" because you cannot "think your way into right acting".  If you get up in the morning and say "thank you".....thank you for all the things I have (and not think about the things you don't have) because you attract those things into your life.  If you start acting happy, pretty soon it will become easier and easier.

So....I hope I have not turned off any members with this stuff...I know you Saara are a very accepting person to this and I mean it.   Let's plan on a talk sometime soon.  I could keep on and on and write an entire book but our subconscious is the most powerful part of our mind and simply by doing some tricks, you can control some unbelieveable things.  I will choose to explain this another time but I will use this analogy once again:

A one armed man has 2 choices.  He can say "My life is hell, I lost an arm, what ever will I do, my life sucks"  OR....."WOW, I am sooooooooooo lucky,  I may have lost an arm but how fortunate am I to have an arm left!!!"  It is our choice....our attitude can make or break us.

My love to all, Y

Before I start I want to send each of you a VERY heartfelt Thank You. I believe this group is the first time I have truly felt comfortable. Thank You.

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Cliche or not, the Secret is an excellent book! I do have it, and the DVD. And it HAS helped me! How interesting that you picked the "don't want" excerpt.  I used to say to myself "I don't want to get fat again, I don't want to get fat again, I don't want to get fat again"  What a negative and downgrading thought. So I have changed it to "I will stay trim and healthy."

For many years now I have tried to look at any reason why something is happening to me. There is a wonderful Buddhist Story: A farmer's only son is disabled in a farming accident, all of his neighbors say we are so sorry for you that your son can no longer help you. He reply's to them "It's Ok I still have my son" A bit later the army comes to recruit, they pay the young men and their families quite well to join the army. Again his neighbors tell him oh we are sorry. He replies again," It's ok I still have my son" So when the word come that all the young men in that battalion were killed, and as he watches the very long funeral procession He whispers to himself "I still have my son!"

So this summer when what was supposed to be only an 8 week recovery after my THR it turned into an 8 month recovery period. But dh had a malignant kidney removed 1 month prior and is now on chemo, so these months have allowed me to be at home with him. I am so thankful for that. Prognosis is GOOD. I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for this!

 

The other books that were suggested I have I have not read and will be looking for them. 

I honestly don't want to start any antidepressants. But please know that it's not that I feel there is anything wrong with antidepressants at all!! I in fact took them for many years, and have seen them be so helpful. I just don't want to start them now.

 

I just feel a total lack of motivation, no energy, no drive. I keep trying to 'Fake it' and trying to "Stand up-Shine up-Show up" but still here I sit.

What are you doing to move?  I also totally believe in the magic of anti-depressants but at some point I decided the same thing.  I'm trying very hard to not take them.  I started yoga and was shocked at the difference.  The next thing I heard was about a study that said that exercise can be as effective as medication.  The thing with yoga is there is something for everyone.  Abby Lentz has a beginner yoga DVD.  It's called Heavyweight  Yoga 2.  www.heartfeltyoga.com.  Yoga is like slow dancing with yourself....almost like doing something so loving for your body, add some music and it's awesome.  I am often asked if I "work out" and it's just yoga. Here I am in the morning going through some very simple moves that not only keep me fit but keep my range of motion in good shape so I don't stiffen up and not be able to move as I get older.



If you bend over and touch your toes every morning, you'll be able to do it forever unless you end up with an injury to your back.  I had back surgery for 2 ruptured discs i***** at 260 pounds and can now bend like a pretzel.  It didn't happen overnight but if you get Abby's DVD, you'll see a woman of size that can bend like a pretzel too.  It is so important to love what you do as far as exercise.  You can do it at home or a class but I'm not fond of the people that crank up the temperature because that can be dangerous.  It gives me that personal time to start the day with an attitude adjustment and filling up that glass to be half full instead of half empty.  You might be surprised how much energy you'll get back when you start using your body.  Also make sure your labs are OK.  Are you taking vitamins???  That's a whole 'nother rant.  We have so many people that need vitamins and they think they feel O****il it's too late.
hugs, Y

My Dear Yvonne you are so right! It's movement, all these months off I have allowed myself to become a non moving person, the less I move, the less I desire to move. I had total hip replacement and have a bad back but I can no longer let that be my excuse.  I just keep letting myself put it off.

The last time I had my labs drawn (a few months back) they were great. I am very good at getting my vitamins in. I'm a vitamin Nazi, just ask DH....lol.

As a science geek, I gotta tell you that situational depression can cause a chemical depression.  A six month course of anti-depresants are often used to reset the neuro-tansmitters back to normal. 

Saara...
 I have to go dig through my books.... forgot the title of a book that helped me very much. Learned a number of techniques that I still try to apply in my daily life. It helps! 

look for my next post....   now if i can do something for my foggy brain.....

Success!

and it didn't take that long... woo hoo ran downstairs found it and ran back up.... hey and I'm not even out of breath!!! woo hoo!

Ok - the title of the book is:

FEELING GOOD   The New Mood Therapy 

Author is: David D. Burns, MD.

He has included Dr. Beck's Depression Inventory a multiple choice questionairre to help a person to determine at what level of depression they may be experiencing. They range from normal ups & downs-
*mild mood disturbances
*Borderline clinical depression
*moderate Depression
*Severe
*Extreme Depression
each level is assigned a numeric value and any consistent number higher than 17 (borderline) it is recommended to seek professional help.

In another part of the book he talks about our AUTOMATIC responses to situations. Then shows how these are cognitively distorted and how we can teach ourselves to  have RATIONAL responses.

Even though this is an older book... It is excellent.

I highly recommend it.

I have to admit this is something I struggle with and it's not always easy to get out of the "funk" as I call it.

Here are a couple things I do:

I have a library full of different books related to Weight Loss Surgery, Positive affirmations etc.

Try Daily Inspirations by Katie Jay, Chicken soup for the working moms soul, find a website that has daily inspirations, positive affirmations etc. that you can easily access. 

There are days I actually will sit and make a list of what I've accomplished and what I am thankful for which helps get me into the positive mood. 

There are times I will put in my Ipod, play my favorite music and take a walk.  The music is therapeutic to me and I always seem to find myself smiling because I'm doing something I enjoy, I'm getting my endorphins going and it just becomes uplifting and the positive energy mysteriously starts to pour out of me..

Tear apart the negative thoughts and figure a way to turn them 180degrees and make those positive thoughts!!

Take a few minutes and ask yourself "What is the real cause of the negative thoughts?"

As always, reach out to your support system and ask for help!  Sometimes we just need a different perspective!

Hope this helps...

Hey you!

First-what the other ladies say is true about situation depression causing a chemical reaction. Been there and meds did help and I didn't stay on them very long-but enough to get things into sync again.

The other thing that admittedly is the LAST thing I like to hear when I am feeling like crap is the following "Changing your actions will Change your mind". It is true.

It is NOT possible to be walking around the block and feel EXACTLY the same as you do whilst you are paralyzed with fear on the couch. It is NOT possible to keep the same old thoughts when you put a new song on the radio or cd player.

This is one of the reasons that little ones rarely get seriously depressed. Everything is NEW. Your mind needs room to entertain new and interesting things-and when you feed those things to your brain-it takes back some of the depressed real-estate. If that makes any sense.

I am not sure what might be "new and interesting" for you right now. But it is worth a look. Remember-this will feel like the LAST thing you WANT to do though! That is the sneaky way of depression and stress.

PS-I have started making my own cards and doing a latch hook rug! LOLOL! It's DARK and COLD here this winter and I still often feel insecure being "new" to this country. So I decided to jog my brain chemistry and give it some things to play with. Oh and I got it some clay to play with too!!

Hugs
Love
T