New kid here! Long!

LOVE YOUR LONG POST!!!  First I'd like to share a couple of blog posts that I did as a guest blogger on a Bariatric Doc's Blog.
Here's part one:
http://nicholsonclinic.com/blog/04/yvonne-mccarthy-guest-blo g/

part two
http://nicholsonclinic.com/blog/04/coping-mechanisms-guest-b logger-bariatric-girl/

It made me think of it when you mentioned you "sit here in the garage".  My mind is racing with all the stuff I want to say!!

First we are socially the age we are post-op because we have no life experience in "normal people land" as an obese person.  It's absolutely true and you will also grow into that "normal people land" quicker than you can imagine.  I would love for you to check out my blog for several reasons.  Even at nearly 9 years out there are times I am still not accustomed to my new body.  One of the latest things was feeling like people were standing on top of me in the grocery store aisles.  It was because when I was large, they gave me more room and now I'm normal and they pass by like I am but I wasn't used to it.

Now regarding the parts of your body that are not pretty looking.  Even after plastic surgery....there are parts that are not pretty looking BUT with clothes on no one can tell.  Just like when I was told that I would have "open RNY" and some people were so against it because of the scar.  I told the doc that I had no future plans as a nude dancer so that was cool.  You will have a period of time that you will experience the "ghost fat".  Just like women going shopping and even though there is a size on the clothes and they know they got in that size before, they will pick a larger size.  It is something your brain will eventually figure out.  When you go around a set of chairs because you don't think you'll fit....well no one will really know so until you adjust, it will be OK.  No damage done you know?

I had plastic surgery and in the bathtub, I have skin that still floats but fortunately nobody has to see it but me and the person allowed in the bathroom.  No biggie!  You're right!! 200 pounds are gone girlfriend.

Now your list.
1.  GREAT!!
2. This is one of the things I want to change in our community.  When someone even has WLS and they make sure and say "I'm doing it for my health".  There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to be more attractive.  If we didn't we would never wash our hair or wear makeup.  When you are feeling more attractive, we glow and we attract people to us that are also glowing.  There is no shame in getting plastic surgery (reconstructive surgery actually) and in the meantime fixing some things that can look better.  For instance....I was a DDD but the way I was built, I could never wear a tube top.  When I had my breasts fixed I got to wear that stuff  for the first time in my life.  I didn't get DDD of course but I got a D which fits my body well.  I can wear clothes I could never wear.  If I am getting the surgery anyway  there is nothing wrong with doing some things that make wearing clothes easier.  There is NO SHAME.  We spent so many years living and breathing shame from obesity.  It is time to shed those feelings and get rid of the blame and guilt and judgment too.  It's time to life your life!!  Don't feel like you have to rush...take your time and just know that getting thin never makes life perfect. 
3.  Absolutely come to acceptance.  If you don't you will never be happy.  If you always "wait to be happy" you will always be waiting to be happy.

I'm so happy you are here.  We have so many special people here....good hearts....good souls and you are one that I have always respected.  Thanks for you long post and let me know after you rest thost posts OK?  Let me know if saw anything that helped OK?

hugs, Y

Hi Yvonne,

Ooooh! See! There is always something that will jump out at us that we need to learn.

You said:  "First we are socially the age we are post-op because we have no life experience in "normal people land" as an obese person. "

I never took a moment to consider this-and as I do-it makes a TON of sense to me. Of course!! What OTHER experience do I have? None! LOL!

Amazing the things that we cannot see sometimes.

I love what you wrote about no shame. EXACTLY. It IS OK to want to look good and I always try to call any body surgery I might have done "Reconstructive" because it IS. It isn't so I can be a model-it is so I can enjoy my body as well as enabling my body to stay healthy. We all know there are issues that go with excess skin-which can cause some problems.



I absolutely can understand and relate to your post! You are always straight on target! It takes one to know one..and I have to say I am grateful you can relate!!

Hugs to you! 
Have a wonderful day
Peace.
T

Welcome Miss Redd!  It's so nice to see all the new members joining and so much positive energy in this forum! 

It feels good to know that many of us experience the same psychological aspects of life after weight loss surgery. I agree that more research needs to be completed and more programs need to be made available for the psychological side of life after major weight loss. I truly believe in therapy before, during and after weight loss surgery. 

I’ve been saying for the past few years that we need a comprehensive program that encompasses life before surgery (Something like OA, food addiction) and then life after surgery.  How do we continue to deal with those addictions through recovery and encompass the new physical being? How do we teach our minds to adjust to the new person, mentally, physically, spiritually? How do we view and accept our new bodies, embrace what we have accomplished and celebrate it? How do you let go of the old you, accept the new you and not dwell on the past, the old behaviors and the stinking thinking? We know the surgery was an operation on our stomach’s not our heads so how do we fix the head part???

I think this is a good place to share those feelings, have the ability to talk openly, bounce ideas off of each other and give the support that we all need! Those are also some deep seeded questions that may need to be addressed with a professional but for now here are some of my personal thoughts:

What if we approached our new lives after weight loss surgery like the transformation of a butterfly? Close your eyes and imagine walking out of your old cocoon into your new body and picture this brightly colored beautiful butterfly with its wings extended out as far as you can imagine and no physical barriers in the way. Now take a deep breath and say to yourself it’s time to fly out into the world with the wind in my hair, the freedom to go anywhere and do anything and be the person I want to be?

In the words of Miss Redd “Join life"! Why are we still in the garage? What is holding us back? It’s time to open the garage door, turn on the ignition and GO……

Thanks again to Yvonne for bringing back the positive energy, letting me join such a wonderful group of people and reminding me why I originally joined OH many moons ago!

Hey Traci!

Thanks SO much for your post! How much do I LOVE all this inspiration. Dang-I could just send for all you girls to come to England and have "Tea time" with me"-fabulous!! LOL!

Seriously-I think it will be folks like us that create the movement you speak of-where there is a bigger more holistic vision of what WLS really is and what it means before/during/after. People like us-we have suspected there is MUCH more to this than we have been told. :)

I think we have a large responsibility to pave the way best we can and be vocal if we can. This WLS thing is so very new in the scheme of things-and it's one of those things that really can only be built by those that have EXPERIENCED it!!

Thanks for all your time and information-it's worth everything!!

Peace.
T