New kid here! Long!

HI all,

I wanted to make a little post and say Hi and I am new to this board. I adore Yvonne and love her "positivity" and I know that is exactly what we all need in order to stay on this journey-some hope and friends with something in common.

I am just over 3 years out and this is that part of the journey for me where I am working my nerve up to really join "life". For many years it was about "The Weight"-then for a good few years it was about "losing The Weight"-and I find that if it is not about "The Weight" I am sort of at a loss! LOL! I was good at that part!!

My husband gave me a good analogy the other day. He said "You have done the work, you are a finely tuned car. You have done the work under the hood, you are ready to go! And yet-you sit here in the garage. Why?"

This is So true. I have yet to take the new me for a spin. Whilst losing weight I worked from home most of the time. I did lots of You Tubing and writing-but not much getting "out and about".

I am still not familiar with my new me. I also am having some issues getting comfortable with my new body. This isn't something many of us REALLY consider before surgery-because...let's face it-we KNOW anything is better than the pain and danger of being super morbidly obese.

There are times I feel guilty at the way I see my new body-because I "know" I should be happy with my new health and all the good things  I have done. But-the truth is-there are some parts of my body that are pretty .umm..not-pretty looking!

See, this is when I say to myself "Girlfriend-you lost WELL over 200 lbs!!! What do you expect!!! You ought to be THRILLED!" 

At the same time-I do not think enough research has yet been done on the psychological impact of rapid and major weight loss. I actually use the phrase "Ghost-fat". You know how when someone loses a limb and they can still feel it? It's sort of like that for me still. I still eye chairs before I sit in them -making sure the arms are wide enough-when of course they WILL be fine!

I also catch myself in the bathtub sort of staring at the loose skin...just sort of in wonder.

So-here are the things I know today:

1. I am 100% committed to taking care of this new body and following my plan
2. If and when I can get plastic surgery-I will do so with much research and support with the ONLY goal to be comfort
3. UNTIL that time comes (if ever) in which I have some corrective plastic surgeries-I do what I can in the moment to help and be kind to this body. That means exercise and a bit nicer thoughts about it.

My opinion is that it is of UTMOST importance to at least COME to a place of acceptance about our bodies-even IF we want plastic surgery. It can't hurt and might help our minds and souls a bit.

I also made a recent post to my OH blog about "Who is driving this car?" It's about trusting ourselves in this journey when we come to the place of maintenance and expected small weight gains-such as water retention and HOLIDAYS! LOL!

I will stop rambling right about here and thank you for getting this far!! 

Thanks for listening and Yvonne-thanks for this cool place and all the work you do!

Peace,
T

Hello and welcome!

I had actually seen your profile from a post you had made at another time on the main board.  You impressed me then, and you impress me now.  Congrats on your fantastic WL!  I am so proud of you... I agree with your husband, rev up that engine girl!

I am not in your shoes so It is so hard for me to imagine not being comfortable in my own skin after I've lost my weight.   I don't know how i'll handle all that.  Not sure how I will react to all the loose skin.  Right now, it's still just a dream, but I can't wait to make it my reality.  Those of you that have gone through it pave the path for the rest of us.  Though we all suffer our own trials and tribulations and each of us are unique, we are better prepared in knowing what we may be dealing with down the road because of those that went before us and posted their stories for our enlightenment.  Thank you!

Hi Krysti and thanks for the reply!

I think -no..I KNOW-no matter where we are in the process/journey-we have something to offer. I am constantly learning new things from old-timer WLS folks and New ones alike!!

I will always be so grateful for this place and for people like you *****ach out and share what they are going through.

Peace,
T

Wow.  You have completely captured exactly how I've been feeling as of late; and eloquently put it into words.  I don't feel so alone now.  Thank you!!

I'll write more...when I can quit bawling!

--Danelle

Danelle ,

This is a REALLY sensitive subject for some of us..maybe many of us? Although I KNOW it doesn't feel good to you right now-it REALLY helps me know I am not alone. I think we all need to get brave and start comparing notes! LOL!

Mega hugs and thanks for your post.

Peace,
T

Thanks, T--I needed that!

I just thought once I lost the weight, the 'mental' aspects would fall in place.  Some days are great, others not so much--but I'm working on it.

People look at me like I have three heads when I head to the 'plus' size section to shop; but after 20 years, it's not nearly as easy to get out of that mindset.  I'm also hyper-critical of myself now--my batwings, the way my triple chin, boobs, etc have all seemed to settle around my waist or my saggy thighs and non-existent butt.

Thankfully, I have a WONDERFUL husband who thought I was the sexiest woman alive BEFORE WLS, and still thinks so now!!  I also have four kids, who contstantly remind me how 'awesome' it is to have me do all the fun things with them that I used to pass up, or just sit and watch.

Losing the weight was much, much easier than getting the mind to 'catch-up'.

-D

I was looking at your before pix and you have that earthen sexy thing going on and I see it.  You are lucky to have a husband that  thought you were before and after and yes you were sexy before but you are VA VA VA VOOM sexy now!  Definitely Phatmom...pretty hot and tempting!!

It's funny when I show someone my before picture and they feel like they should have to say something.  I get "but you had such a pretty face"  NOT!!!  One of my fingernail technician shows it to other people and says " who do you think this it?"  They usually say "your mom?"  hahahahaaaaaaaa

I keep meaning to put a text box on the bottom that says "you don't have to say I had a pretty face".

Second thing usually said.  "Wow you look so different"  I don't miss a beat and say "Exactly what I was going for!"
hugs, Y

Yvonne-

Thank you, you make me blush! 

I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I always used to hear, "You have such a pretty face [long pause, awkard silence...change the subject...]  I knew what the 'but' was [but you'd be so much prettier if you lost some weight].

I haven't gotten my DL changed yet; and I find it hysterical when I use my debit/credit card and people ask to see my ID.  I've even had a few actually argue with me that it isn't mine because of the picture!

--Danelle

YAAAAY I am so glad to see you here!! You are another one of my hero's on this forum.

"I am just over 3 years out and this is that part of the journey for me where I am working my nerve up to really join "life". For many years it was about "The Weight"-then for a good few years it was about "losing The Weight"-and I find that if it is not about "The Weight" I am sort of at a loss! LOL! I was good at that part!!"


Now wait did  you write this or did I just think it...LOL                 

I was just getting down on myself recently for exactly the same thing. When does my life start?! Oh yeah.... 'I' Gotta start it!

"Ghost-Fat" very interesting term, and very true.

I too will eventually have plastics, when I can afford it. I refuse to take out a loan for a set of boobs (but i've thought about it!!)

Your husband sounds like a dear. One day last summer I was complaining about my 'skin' he says to me, don't you look better than you thought you were going to? I hollard at him "NO" "I was supposed to be perfect!"

I do still use visualization at night, of how I want my body to look and feel (healthy), and I have found that my skin is still tightening, as my body turns in to a normal size.

I love your 1-2-3 of weight loss. Good Advice. I am so looking forward to hearing you on here.

I love Ya Girl!

Saara

Hey Saara!

Dang it! I wish we could have hung out when I lived there! LOL! The more I know about you the more I realize we have LOTS in common. Well-better late than never. :)

I have really been enjoying your posts as well. I hope things are going well over in your neck of the woods.

Hugs and Peace-sending lots of love back!

Peace,
T