Question/Suggestions needed

I have heard that it is normal to be nervous, and maybe even question what you are about to do.  I keep thinking different thoughts such as is there another way to do this, but then I bring myself back to reality and think I already know that there is not.  I have tried for so long and so many different ways.  I think it is just from the anxiety.  Any suggestions???

Nichole,
   Just last month I was freaking out. WHAT AM I DOING?
This will pass and from what I have read others do it as well. One lady canceled her surgery then later realized this is what she needed and rescheduled.
    I have a co-worker who has been watching me lose weight and working out at the gym. She kept telling me I could do this without surgery. She would be there for me. I almost started thinking yeah I can do it but then a stressor popped up in my family and things got a little rocky. Food intake and exercise started slipping. I realized that no matter what I do I have to stay committed to my path to succeed. So I am now getting myself back together and am very grateful I didn't cancel anything. I know I have tried many diets throughout the years and nothing has helped me through this process to get a healthier me back. I laughed at my doctor's office because I had to fill out forms and I told them that I ran out of space to list my past diet attempts.
Long story short.....  If you investigated and learned everything you can about the procedure you picked and have tried everything in the past with no lasting results
GO FOR IT!! You can do this ,but do it for you and no one else.
Best Wishes to you
Tressa Ü

Nichole,

I think it's much scarier to imagine what might have come of me if I hadn't had the surgery.  I would see people wheeling around their oxygen, and knew that could be my future.  My doctor told me that, with all my weight, it was practically assured that I would have a heart attack at some point.  Not something I want to anticipate at all.  The pain in my joints was worse every year.  I was terrified to fall (and I fell a lot, anyway) because of the pounding I would take when all those pound**** the ground.  I looked at my darling grandchildren, and realized that, as much as I loved them, I might not get to see them as adults.  I have been alone for 24 years, but I don't want to be alone forever, but my weight was in the way of even considering dating, so I had consigned myself to loneliness, forever, without surgery.  Everyone who is morbidly obese is essentially pre-diabetic.  It's a matter of time, really.  And diabetes has so many downsides.  Do you like your fingers and toes and eyesight?  Diabetes can take you down that really unhappy road.  A bad series of events could easily take me down the road to depression - largely because there were so many not-very-happy aspects to my life to begin with.  It was just harder to cope.

No, not everyone has a wonderful outcome.  But you hear the bad stories more than the good, because this is a support board.  Folks with difficulties need support and frequent OH in higher numbers.  Folks that are doing well are out there somewhere, living their lives - really living their lives - some for the first time in years.  They are so busy living they don't have time for OH.

Anxiety is normal, but if you do the comparison, you will see that the mortality rate for WLS is similar to death in childbirth.  But of course, someone is always willing to share a story about someone's aunt's best friend who died.  We're all gonna die.  The difference for me was this:  I wanted to really live before I died.  Now, because of RNY, I can.

It is totally normal and I'm loving the responses you've gotten so far!  Everyone is different....I couldn't wait!  I was so miserable and had tried everything known to man for over 30 years and I knew it was the answer.  I looked forward to the miracle of this surgery and I made a promise that if I could just get back in the driver's seat just one more time...I SWEAR I would do whatever it took  to do this thing.  I kept that promise.  I knew I couldn't do it any other way and please don't think that you are taking the easy way out. We have a disease and just like having any surgery for any disease, it's a viable solution for the disease of obesity.  We will be here to hold your hand along the way and you are absolutely normal for all the things you are feeling.  Once you have surgery you will possibly feel some other things but whether good feelings, bad feelings or anxious feelings, you can talk about them here.  Love and respect your surgery and it will do the same for you.  We are also glad to have you here because we've had quite a few that started their journey here and are doing so great.
Many blessings, Y

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I also wanted to show you a video that we showed right before an event of many before and after shots...some had only started their journey a few months before and some were years out.

I have been feeling the same way.  I know I need to do this but I am not sure if I can get up on that operating table and let them rearrange my insides.  I remember feeling the same right before I had a c-section but I really did not have that much choice in it that time.  I keep thinking, I should be able to do this on my own.  I know I can lose some of the EW but I can't get it all off on my own and I know I cant keep it off.  So, my head tells me, I have to do this  and the little voice of doubt keeps nagging.


Last night I had a strange dream.  I was at a social gathering with my son and parents.  My parents looked younger, about the age they were when I was in my early 20's and my son was just a toddler again.  We went to leave the party and I walked past a full length mirror and saw my self.  I was shocked to see an old woman...not a vibrant healthy fun older woman  but a fat old woman...gray hair...dumpy clothes....a worn out...at the end of her life old woman...and then I woke up and could not sleep...and I know that if I don't grab what life I have available NOW...that is what I will become...and that will be a waste of the person inside me that wants to LIVE life and has been waiting to long to do it.


So yep...I think you are very normal and anxiety is a monster chasing both of us.


Big Hugs,
Dawn

Dawn, I hear a person that is pretty determined to do things for herself.  Am I right? Guess what? Me too!  

I also think you got an incredible look into your future.  How many chances do we get to actually take a peek at a possible outcome?  I think you said it best....wasting the person you are inside.  There is nothing wrong with you because you can't keep the weight off.  There is nothing wrong with you because you gained the weight.  We are physically and emotionally set up for this disease.  There is a tool...and it's our surgery.  With the care and nurturing of that tool we can kick that disease's butt.  And...you must go into it without feeling like it is a source of shame.  It is NOT the easy way out.  If it was the easy way out, I would say SO WHAT!  Whatever it was that took me from 30 years of morbid obesity to almost 8 years as a thin person doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter.  I have maintained it and worked hard to do it.  I have also done everything I can 24/7 to help others do it too because we are not taught everything we need to know.  The field is very young and I started talking about stuff 3 years ago that is just now being accepted by the professionals.  I failed every diet known to man and I was sure I would fail this too.  It was because of some really lucky stuff....everything lined up for me...the sun and the moon and the stars and it worked.  I'm determined to help others do it too and that's why I'm here and that's why I have this board.  I'm worried for those that get into the negativity and bullying and don't understand they are throwing their success down the drain.  I am here to love and support each person unconditionally and try to give back something that will help others.  It also happens to help me at the same time.  So Dawn, you should grab that life and don't even give the surgery much thought.  Sure it's scary but we'll be here to help you.  It's the smallest part of the process and it's over before you know it. 
hug, Y

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