(x-post) Perhaps it is Time for a Personal Inventory

I was sharing my WLS journey with someone recently when I told them that before WLS, I had at least one (often many) thoughts a day about how I hated being fat and how much it was going to affect my wife and children over the years.  I wanted to ride horses with them, dance with my daughter, hike as a family, be a den leader for our sons' scout pack, taking romantic vacations with my wife...  you get the point.  And, while i am not at my goal weight, I recalled yesterday that since the time I had surgery I have not had a single dire thought about my weight.  The obvious things about WLS such as buying clothes comes easily.  But let's take some time to focus on our lives and concerns before WLS and how we feel now.  For me, I lost a huge veil of anxiety over my weight.

Regards,

Chris

Chris, this is a perfect example of why these boards work so well.  You just expressed what many feel because at this stage I cannot stress how important it is to continue feeling that way. (without anxiety)  This points out why it is so important to change your lifestyle from the beginning.  If you don't, you will return to that "feeling" you describe again.  Can you think of anything more painful?  I think you've possibly hit on a really good way to remember that you don't want to go back there.  If you commit to your lifestyle change from the beginning you won't have to see that veil of anxiety again.  Every morning I go back to the day before surgery and remind myself about that veil. I see myself standing in front of that camera in the prison of my former body and I remind myself just how grateful I am.   It is one of the reasons I stay motivated because I don't want to ever forget the prison I was in...for me...that's what keeps me in line.  Great post Chris!
hugs, Y

Thanks Yvonne and thank you for sharing how you remind yourself every morning about the importance of your journey.  A wise person once said: "If we forget history we are doomed to repeat it."

And, we haven't chatted in a while- so good to run into you!

Hugs,

Chris

Chris... Wonderful post! it is so true Personal Inventory, reflection- whatever one wants to call it- It is very important.
that is also why I've saved my largest dress... 26/28 and a photo of me wearing it! At some point that thing will wrap around me 3 times! lol

THEN I will see and remember how valuable a tool this RNY has been for me... and continues to be!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts...

Judy

This is a terrific thread.  I am only 6 weeks and a few days out and starting to struggle with head hunger.  I developed a stricture and had an endoscopy done on Monday to eleviate it.  However, since Monday I have noticed lots of old bad habits creeping in.  I have experienced a huge change in my personal outlook in a very short time- my car seems bigger, my stamina better but mostly my ability to be with my children and actually BE IN THE MOMENT is back.  

Keeping these things in the forefront is essential to my longterm success.  Redoubling my efforts to eliminate those old habits (licking the spoon, for example) can and do make a real difference in my state of mind.  Perhaps one lick doesn't make or break the program but it does lessen my confidence and that can't be allowed.  

Thanks for putting my mind back in the right place!

Connie

Great point Connie!  My suggestion is to visualize licking the spoon (if it's stuff you shouldn't be eating)  and seeing that spoon as full of crack!  I have many people that say "they say if you just do a little taste, you'll get past the craving"  I say that you are only keeping alive the craving for the food you don't need to remember anything about. I will continue to fight this forever I think.  I ask this....if you were alcoholic would you think that by taking a sip of alcohol that it gets you past the craving? Sometime I forget which stories I tell in which place but I found out very quickly that if I don't eat some things AT ALL that I totally lose the craving.  My ugliest guilty pleasure was Quarter Pounder with cheese and I would only let myself have one if I was 4 or 5 pounds under goal.  I finally went long enough without getting that far under goal and  I realized that I couldn't remember this thing I craved.  Secondly I had a weak moment after the Dallas event and was feeling awful and just said "screw it, one day won't hurt" and I proceeded to eat TWO grilled cheese sandwiches to self medicate.  TWO!!! BIG FAT DRIPPING WITH BUTTER HUGE SANDWICHES.  It took about 3 days to forget how great they tasted.  It only opened a door that should have remained shut.  Licking spoons can lead to grazing too and that is one of our biggest downfalls.  I LOVE the way you are thinking.  If you really think about it, the small, momentary high we get from that lick is not worth the damage it does in general.  I look at things I can't have as poison because they do poison my soul and my program.  Being in the moment IS the kindest thing you can teach yourself. 

Connie you sould like you've got it going on sweetie.  Please let me know if I can every help.
hugs, Y

Thanks for the kind of words of encouragement!  Yesterday I went to my sister's house to get some clothes that she doesn't fit in any more.  They ALL FIT ME!  It was like Christmas only better.  Everything that I tried on made me feel better and better.  I even wore a suede skirt to the supermarket last night... ha!

I brought a spinach dip to her house so that if I needed to eat something, I could.  I ended up leaving it there because my nephew loved it.  It was a high protein recipe that I've been playing with. Love that greek yogurt.  It does start the day off with such a huge smile to get up knowing that I have control over my own choices. 

I think we all have our grilled cheese sandwhich moments- that's just part of life.  My dad used to tell me that the second bite tastes just like the first... if you've tasted it before you don't need to eat it now.  My dad has the internal constitution of a steel beam.   I have always felt more like a guitar string. 

I am off to check out your blogs!

Connie

 

Hey Connie,
I LOVE that you wore a suede skirt to the supermarket last night!!  WOOOO HOOOOO my kind of lady!  One of the things I imagined myself as in another life where I wasn't obese was a fashion designer.  I can put together an outfit out of nothing and make up cool stuff along the way.  The weather is finally cooling off a bit in Texas and one morning it was actually cold enough to wear some new boots I had.  They are way cool boots but it's funny because when I dress up enough to wear them I know someone is thinking "well doesn't she thing she's all that".  That's just my stinkin' thinkin' setting in because I know there's always haters but I can't let it ruin my day.

The main reason I talked about my grilled cheese moment is because on some of the other boards there are people that think my life is perfect because I've stayed at goal for so long.  Being thin does not make you miraculously happy.  It is very hard to explain that to someone that has been obese for a long time and you couldn't have convinced me otherwise the day before surgery but I have learned a lot since then.  I talk about some of this in my blog.  My dad is like yours and I spent a long time trying to get his approval...again...I have learned much.

Thanks for being here Connie. I love hearing the enthusiasm in your words.
hugs, Y

Chris,  I know how you feel.  Before WLS my life was controlled by dieting, eating, gaining weight, being resentful of not being able to eat like I desired to eat and stay at a stable weight.  I was either resentful because I was "dieting" or depressed because I was not dieting and I was gaining weight. 

My weight was never stable - I was either losing weight of gaining weight. 

WLS has taken away the power food had over my life.  I hope I use this honeymoon phase to learn new habits and better ways to eat and never go back to my old lifestyle.

For now, for the first time in my life, I think about what I had to eat during the day and I'm not mad because I missed the birthday cake, or mad because I ate the birthday cake.

And for the first time, I'm loosing weight steadily albeit slowly.

I can see a life before me that is not ruled by food.  I can now concentrate on LIVING!

Woo Hoo!! 
Chris