Sharing an awesome post

There have been some people struggling in the Texas board and I posted this and wanted to share it:

I've been struggling since yesterday because of reading about others struggling.  It hurts my heart and my first reaction is to jump in and help.  I don't want to repeat anything I've already said because I figure you've probably heard it and maybe I'm not really getting some things properly communicated.  There is an excellent post from the RNY board that I'd like to share.  Shari is the poster and she said some things in a way that I couldn't. I put one of the paragraphs in red because to me it is the most important part.  When we have triggers it is because we don't want to feel something and if we choose not to feel it, we have to self medicate.  You work on avoiding the things that really upset you OR reset how you think and feel about it.  Here's one of mine.  When I see the people yelling and screaming at the town hall meetings I have to change the channel because if I sit in the hurt that I'm seeing on TV, I will reoffend.  There is so much info these days...so much hurt in the world that we see 24/7 between CNN and the internet.  If you can avoid some of that stuff until you get on better footing (or maybe avoid it mostly forever) you will be better able to deal with things.  I don't think the human brain was meant to hear so much bad stuff all the time!  Life in general can be hard but there's no reason to hang around places or expose yourself to things over and over that you know will upset you.  The link to the post is below and under that is her entire post.  I hope it helps....my heart is breaking for those who are struggling and I just hope this helps a little.
hugs Y

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/3996832/If-you-never-r ead-another-piece-of-unsolicited-advice/#32335795

I've had some success-- I suppose I can admit as much at this point, although it feels weird. So now I get a lot of people who PM asking for advice, or saying they look up to me, and flattering though that is, it's silly, because I pretty much just follow the rules (okay, the ones that make sense) and it all comes out in the wash. So I usually don't have much to add when people ask how you get where I have gotten, there's no great mystery: the reason I have been successful in some ways that others have failed I usually pass off as luck.

But that's not entirely true. I just realized it. There actually *is* one more piece, and because I love ya, I am going to share it with you now. Sounds trifling, but it contains volumes.

Here it is: YOU CAN do hard things.

I know, you're saying, "What's your point?"

Sometimes, when faced with a challenge-- especially if you're a recovering addict as so many of us are, when you approach something difficult, your inner voice says, "Holy crap-- I can't DO that"...and you do an about-face-- you reach for the drug (or Ring Ding) of choice. To feel uncomfortable..and not to comfort yourself, is a hard thing --

but you can do hard things.

When it's late and you're tired, and you know you are supposed to walk, you said you would, and it's looking like it might rain-- it's hard as hell to lace those sneakers up and get out there---

but you can do hard things.

Protein shakes can taste yucky. It's hard to remember all those calcium supplements. It's hard to get 64 oz of water in. It's hard to plan meals, buy expensive and healthy choices, stay out of the cake in the lounge at work--

but you can do hard things.

You don't have to self-medicate. You don't have to eat those chips. You don't have to duck and avoid every unpleasant, difficult challenge in your path. Sometimes, the best bet is to admit their existance..."Yes, hard things, I see you trying to get in my way, but you know what? I CAN DO HARD THINGS!"

Sometimes this means having to survive a host of feelings you never felt before because you never let yourself feel them before-- stress, confusion, anger, rage. You can't numb them out or sand off their edges-- you have to stand right in your space and let them have a go at you-- and grit your teeth, and say to yourself, "Go ahead, get in my way. I'll get through this. I can do hard things."

And you will find that you will survive them. And as you survive them, you will face new ones, standing a little taller, because in time you will eventually understand and rely on the fact that you can do hard things. And eventually the "pass me some Ben and Jerry's--my boss is a jackass" response gives way to something new-- something that sounds more like this:

"Go ahead, Boss, bring it on. I'll have that on your desk by five."
"No thanks, Nancy, it's gorgeous but I really can't have an eclair right now."
"I guess I could just park back there and walk."
"It's only 8 ounces and I don't have to love the stuff, I'll just drink it quickly."
"If I spend ten minutes planning now, I won't be faced with tough choices later."

Post RNY living is no joke. It's not easy. It's not fun. It's not all "Whee, I'm a size 6!" Not everyone takes it as badly as I did, but there were days I *literally* cried because a kid at a store could have a cookie and I couldn't. I felt sorry for myself and holed up in my jammies, burning candles, and chatting here to avoid my fridge.

When I started, I could literally not walk further than my car, which is about 100 feet from my door. I bargained with myself that getting down to maybe 250 pounds would be JUST FINE, I didn't need more than that because I though to ask more from myself was ridiculous, impossible-- who the hell loses 220 pounds? That's not even humanly possible, seriously!

And I found out the answer to who does that : it's ME. *I* can lose 220 pounds-- I know it because I *did* it . I can manage my intake. I can get in my supplements. I can learn to accept my new, imperfect body. And with planning and management, I can make a post op life that still provides pleasure, joy and fulfillment.

I and I don't do those things because they are easy-- I do them because they're hard, but I *can*.
I can do hard things.

And so can you. And you will. So the next time it's all too much (and it is for me too, although less often as I grow), look your RNY challenge-- whatever it is--- boldy in the face and say, "I can do this. I can do hard things."

Then pull out all the stops and grab the brass ring-- it's there for the taking!

(((Yvonne)))

Thank you for sharing this!  It is sooo sad how our obesity and our minds limit ourselves to what we can and can't do.  I know I felt I couldn't do ANYTHING.  One line stands out out of all the others.... "I guess I could just park back there and walk."  I wasted sooo much time circling parking lots looking for the closest one.  Now, its not even a thought.  It is crazy (at least with my experience) how as I lost weight, my mind has "cleared" (not entirely) but about limitations and thinking about what I CAN do.  I don't think anymore of what I CAN"T do.  To me, right now I CAN do anything. lol

Love ya!
Monica

Isn't that true about parking and walking!  I almost feel guilty when I find a front row space!  I love it that I can just park way out...and actually I'm just happy to be near the thing to put the baskets back.  Even in the summer!  I try not to forget the freedom I've acquired.  I looked at the story they did a few years ago in OH magazine and I talked about it feeling like I was walking on the moon with less gravity.  I don't ever want to forget....ever...
I love you girl, Y

This is so profound.  Just terrific.  Thanks for sharing, Yvonne!  I can really use this.

I thought it was awesome and it helps us all by sharing.  Thanks for posting!
hugs, Y