OK, what's your stinkin' thinkin' telling you??

I want to give you the perfect example of stinkin' thinkin' and I think by talking about it, I will be better.  This is also an illustration that no matter how much weight you lose, you have to deal with your issues and love your life or your stinkin' thinkin' will sneak up on you and grab you when you least expect it.

When we filmed the BodPod thing they measured me twice.  The first reading on my body fat was 16.4% and the only reason I know is because I took a picture of it.  I talked about it on my segment on the WLS News and mentioned 16%.  OK...when channel 33 does it I had drank enough liquid in between that I literally gained a half pound so my reading came out 17%.    So you know what my stinkin' thinkin' told me???  Somebody is going to see both videos and they are going to say "Yeah, she fudged on the numbers!  She lied about a percent because I saw it on the second video".  Sounds unbelievable doesn't it?  See I KNOW someone said it but it's someone that doesn't care about me.  Why do I let them rent space in my head? Because I am an obese person in a thinner body and my head still has issues.  So does anyone else want to share some stinkin' thinkin' so I can tell you that your feelings are just as silly and just as real as mine??



Love you guys!!! Y

Hi Yvonne!

You know as well as we all do, that its our power. We have the power to let things bother us or to let them go. 1 percent?! You said your self that is like half a pound! You should be proud, either way. Weather obese or healthy, its our power, don't give it up to naysayers. They will always be there, but if we don't give them credit or let them control our power, they have no hold on us. Just my opinion. I am very proud of you and your feelings are never silly and are very much real concerns for you.
Hugs, love, & friendship always,

Thank you so much sweetie.  I was mostly concerned that someone would think I was stretching the truth on the WLS News thing because I said one number on one video and then it was another on the second video.  See how incredibly silly that was?? I didn't even explain my stinkin' thinkin' very well!   You said it so well....giving away our power is so harmful to us.
hugs and love right back at cha! Y

This is why I love you Yvonne.  You are not acting as if you have never been heavy before.  You still struggle and its ok...That stinkin thinkin keeps us normal instead of prentious...I appreciate your honesty because with a BMI of 45, I could say some really harsh words...just kidding, you are true to this struggle against obesity and I so appreciate you and only hope that I will be success like yourself.

It's important for you to believe that you will make your journey exactly what you want it to be.  See yourself achieving your dreams.  It really works.....our attitude is everything and nothing improves mine like seeing each beautiful soul here contribute to helping each other along the way.  I remember the first day I found OH in December of 2000 and tears were streaming down my face because ALL I wanted was to be one of the before and after pictures on the site.  I actually put that in my OH blog back then.  When I'm able to share that story I hope it makes it more real for someone else that is on the road a little further behind me.  When I can share something that helps someone else it is the best of the best.  It was because of 2 women talking in my surgeon's office that I gave myself permission not to fail.  They were like two years out and I asked them how much weight they had gained back and I put my hand over my eyes like I didn't want to hear the answer.  One of them said "oh about ten pounds" and that's when I believed that I could do it.  Something so simple...  It was before the days of seeing so many WLS people and I never saw anyone gain the weight bac****il I was nearly 4 years out. (Because I never saw more than a handful of post-ops in 4 years because there was no "aftercare")  I believed I wouldn't fail so I'm trying really hard to do whatever I can to understand this illness and pay it forward to anyone I can.  Sorry to get longwinded but it is what I want so very much and at the same time it keeps me in line.
hugs, Y

You are an inspiration to all of us!  Your honesty is amazing.  I appreciate all you do for us.  Keep it up.

Susan

Susan, I'm so happy you're here.  I love your avatar!  Thanks so much for responding.
hugs, Y

stinkin' thinkin is always something i have to consciously work on.  i do it mainly through spiritual pursuits as those are the only things that give me any relief.

A recent stinkin thought i had, albeit a minor one; i peed on a ketostick this morning and it was barely pink.  So i immediately think, "that's it, it's all downhill from here" (at 5 weeks post-op RNY).

that wasn't a bad one in that i shook it off pretty quick.  the bad ones are the one's that seize control of my mind, mood, and sense of personal identity and take me down.  they tap into some kind of primal fear.  i haven't had one too recently, and i'm not gonna go diggin around for one b/c i don't want to open that particular pandora's box!  those are the ones that require a lot of hard work on my part to overcome/transcend/escape.  i've been actually in such a positive state of mind since my surgery, even losing my job hasn't sent me into a funk.

I understand not opening Pandora's box.  You are obviously advanced in understanding about bringing things into your consciousness.  I want so much to try to explain that concept without people thinking I'm getting all "new age" on them and that it has nothing to do with their religious beliefs but more a mindset for happiness.  We don't understand how truly powerful the mind is and all the things we have at our disposal.  Our disease often makes many of us do a lot of black and white thinking.  One of my favorite quotes is:
There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance- that principle is contempt prior to investigation. - Herbert Spencer

To make this more simple and probably less direct.... I have found myself speaking in front of a crowd and I could be literally giving the keys to the kingdom away with my words and some people will not listen because they find something to dislike about me before I even speak.  We hurt ourselves so much by not being more tolerant.  I often use the analogy of someone assuming something about a person because they have a tattoo....yet we were upset when someone assumed something about us because we are/were obese.  We lose out so much when we assume things.  I met one of the dearest friends here and if it hadn't been for OH I would have totally missed out on an opportunity to know someone that makes my life a better place.  He still thinks I wouldn't have talked to him but he's just wrong and that's Ramon.  In my photo section there's an album that I think is called Yvonne and Ramon or something like that.  Ramon has opened my eyes to an entirely new culture in life and I have done the same for him.  Where else would I have gotten this opportunity?  When we get judgment word out of our lives we can certainly learn a lot quicker.  I'm hoping to help others see how much we miss when we count people out over something they said or the way they look or even a belief.  We don't have to marry them!  We can agree to disagree and learn from each other and the more we understand our WLS brothers and sisters, the better we communicate and learn how to beat this freakin' disease. 

OK, I'm getting off my soap box.  I'm soooooooooo glad you're in a positive state and we want to keep you there.  Of course you know...when one door closes a better one will open.  I hope you'll hang in here with us...I like your brain!
hugs, Y

you want some stinkin thinkin?  i  dwell on my terrible breasts and ugly stomach.  instead of being very grateful for being so much healthier now, i worry about my boobs and stomach.  i also think i am very unattractive and i know that is not true, i'm just not as good looking as i used to be.lol  hang in there and try not to rent out the space in your head to a convention that eats tons of donuts. vick