Can we really change our outlook?

This will be lengthy but perhaps it will illustrate a point.  I found a woman's first blog post after weight loss surgery.  I believe the way we "see" things is a huge influence on how we live and how successful we will be.  Some really horrible things happened to me in the hospital when I was without pain medicine for 8 hours but instead of complaining about something I couldn't change, I was thankful for my friend that was there to help me through it.  I'm beginning to wonder if I am expecting too much from people when I ask them to try to adjust their negative attitudes.  Are we forever stuck with what we've got or can we work to change it?  Below you'll see a really negative woman.  I wonder if she has lived her whole life being so unhappy and making those that live with her unhappy too?  I wonder if she even knows how much she complained in one post?  I also think about how many women would give anything to have the surgery.  Sometimes we don't realize how really fortunate we are do we?


My wonderful daughter-in-law took this picture of me. It will serve as a VERY vivid reminder of how things can go horribly wrong in one's life! However, that has begun to change. On Tuesday, November 11, 2008 I had weight loss surgery. The following day, my surgeon came in to tell me that the surgery had gone fine and to wish me a "Happy Birthday."

Now, I'm not going to lie and say everything was peachy. So let's look at how it went:

8:30am - I arrive at the hospital and disrobe into one of those wonderful gowns that don't close at the back. Warm socks were put on my feet and they gave me a heated blanket. It was FREEZING in there. The surgeons keep the OR area cold.

9:00am or so - The techs began the process of trying to find a vein that they can stick the anesthesia needle into. Is it ironic that a large person such as myself has such small veins? They generally have to use BABY needles to draw blood. It continued like this for over an hour. (The two bruises on my left arm are the ugliest shade of purple I've ever seen.) They finally gave up after 45 minutes and decided to wait for the anesthesiologist. He was running behind. My operation was supposed to start at 10:10am. It didn't The anesthesiologist came in. He tried with no luck. He even tried to get a vein in my neck. No luck. Finally he said he would have to take a more drastic step. THAT sounded like fun. He said he wanted to do it in the OR. So I walked into the OR - it's just next to my bed. By this time it was about:

11:00 am - The anesthesiologist said they would have to go into my surgery, into an ARTERY! Ugh. THAT was nasty. At one point I asked him if he was sure where my heart was. The nurses laughed aloud at THAT one. An operating room is a scary place when you're wide awake. Blissfully, that didn't last long.

Time? I woke up. People were calling my name. My mouth felt so dry. I had not been allowed to have even ice chips before the procedure. I must have drifted off to sleep. I have to admit, I felt like crap! Then they put me in a room. I slept.

9:00PM - I've been drifting in and out of sleep. Just as they promised, a nurse and tech came in and forced me out of bed and into a chair. Then they made me take a walk - thankfully with a walker although I felt 90 yrs old at that point! All I wanted was to take that walk and fall back into bed.And sleep. Hah! More than once I've been told that the worse place to try to get any rest is a hospital. Between the person next to me coughing a horrible cough that sounded like a death rattle, people talking in the corridor, my IV beeping every time I turned over or it needed refilling, I wasn't up to doing much of anything the next day.

11/12/2008 Morning: Not sure of the time since the clock didn't work! I tried to watch television, but couldn't even keep my focus on anything. I slept on and off. They took yet more blood. Did I have any left? Apparently so. I need help going to the bathroom. That's humiliating for someone like me who has always been independent. Plus, I am feeling nauseated. I get my own pink pail so the dry heaves have somewhere to go.

11/12/08 - I'm wheeled downstairs to have x-rays taken. They want to make sure everything is where it should be. It is. I'm then wheeled into a corridor and am told that "someone" will be coming to get me soon. A physician I haven't met who is "associated" with my surgeon lets me know that everything is normal. Gee, I'm glad to hear it as I continue to have dry heaves. Plus, I need to go to the bathroom and guess what happens when I heave. Ho!

11/12/08 - Afternoon - This is turning into my own version of "The Longest Day." The nurse comes in to tell me they left my "lunch." The thought of eating is nauseating, to be honest. However I don't show that I can keep food. I have a tiny - and I mean tiny - cup of beef broth, a tiny cup of juice plus two large covered juice cups, a tiny cup of sugar free Jello and my "protein" in a pleasant tasting strawberry custard that tastes like Junket Rennet Custard - an old reliable. I manage to get half of the broth down, a tsp of Jello, a few sips of juice and a tsp or so of the protein custard. That's it. But, I can go home! It takes me a while to get dressed, but I'm REALLY motivated.

11/12/08 - 4:00PM approximately. I am wheeled down to the front door. Bob pulls the car up to the door, I get wheeled to the door, get up. Surprise! my legs DON'T buckle under me. About 30 minutes later I'm home and crawl into bed. Lights out. I'm done for the day.

11/13/08 - No sense of time here. None. Nada. Zilch. I am SO TIRED. Surprisingly enough, there's not much in the way of pain. I have Tylenol with codeine if I need it. It certainly knocks me out.

11/14/08 - today - 11/16/08 - Every day I feel better. I've been on a clear liquids diet: sugar free Jello, juice that's been diluted with water and protein drinks in between. Until today that was ok. It's starting to wear thin. Tomorrow I'll call the doctor for my follow-up. The sutures are itching. That's a good sign. I'm ready for the next step: pureed food. Right now a bowl of soup would be absolute bliss.....

I can just imagine hiw FUN this lady was at THANKSGIVING...lol...Sometimes it seemed she was TRYING to make a joke out of things, but then would get negative again....I know I am guilty of this myself. When you see me do it-CALL ME ON IT...

Y-will there be another way to access this, other than following link thru the PM? I just happened to find it this morning.

THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!!!

When you pull down the menu where "my profile, my photos, my etc" is, you'll see "my groups".  Or you can go to the tab at the top of the page where it says "MY OH".  Once you choose "my groups" you can choose the tab "groups I'm in" and that should take you straight here.  Also when someone answers you on a post, you will get a message just like any other forum.

With that being said....
Gina, you are a straight talker but I've never really seen you do something to the extent of that poor woman.  I went back and looked at my surgery page to see what I said about my hospital experience which I would consider very tough.  I sort of stated what happened and thanked my friends for being there to get me through it.  I didn't post about the nurse being written up for not helping me out.  That was all stuff that could not be changed.

I was looking at the people that had commented on my surgery page (back before the earth's crust cooled) and I looked at the yahoo group that was so popular at one time.  Check out the message numbers.  I'm thinking that somewhere around September of 2001 there was a huge falling out.  How sad that a board that was so active would die so badly.  Sometimes I think about looking back a few months or years to see who is gone now.  I know we have seen some come and go.

Jan	Feb	Mar	Apr	May	Jun	Jul	Aug	Sep	Oct	Nov	Dec
2008	19	8	6	8	5	6	8	7	6	6	6
2007	56	89	61	38	19	36	20	12	14	25	25	13
2006	12	12	12	33	158	20	14	16	13	8	9	18
2005	19	36	32	34	9	22	43	10	14	1	5	15
2004	74	100	73	67	45	35	88	38	40	39	12	24
2003	399	264	250	235	338	179	118	119	99	50	66	102
2002	489	240	226	230	198	262	327	230	111	171	156	165
2001	1559	1283	1005	1160	1270	1764	1258	741	649	417	358	282
2000	96	138	193	404	481	311	362	336	424	527	463	633
1999	2		122	187	188	70	94	148	110	112	106	65

It's great to see you here!!

What is the Disney Princess Marathon?  I LOVE your ticker!!!

Thanks for posting Mommabyrd! I was just about to send a message to all the members to let them know there IS a discussion board.  Good to see you here!
Blessings, Y

I pretty much agree with Gina - this woman was trying to joke her way through a bad situation.  I am VERY familiar with this concept.  It is my modus operandi.  I have days when I am very positive and supportive to my colleagues and TMB buds, and then there are days when I want to scream.  I'm not too sure how to make a permanent change to have a constant positive outlook.  I was fat and depressed for an awfully long time and it's hard to change that much in <4 months.

We are gearing up for a layoff at work.  Everyone is slumping around, griping and complaining about how they are doing it, why they are doing it and when they are supposedly going to do it.  Long story short, I am trying to stay positive about the entire situation. After all, I was looking for a job when I found this one, so....  My only problem is that I hate that they are doing this around the holidays.  That pretty much stinks for me, but we knew it was coming.  So what do I do to stay positive, it seems to be working most of the time. 

So what do I do to become a cheering section for everything and everyone?  It's hard.

The power of prayer is remarkable.
As I said before, I was looking for a job when I found this one.
I have no one to look after but me and the cat, I can and will survive, I am strong. 

I already see something positive in what you said.  To me you made an incredibly important statement when you said you were looking for a job when you found this one.  It always sounds so cliche when I tell someone this....but you know that when one door closes, another (even better one) will open.  Debra was laid off and was pretty scared but in no time she had a better job than the one she had when she left.  You are much thinner now and when you approach getting a new job, you will feel so much better about yourself and I'm betting you'll get a much better job.  Obesity holds us back from so much and I think you've made an amazing transformation in 4 months.  Have you considered being proactive and going ahead and looking for another job now?  That way you can look and make some decisions without having to take the first thing that comes along.  I know you can find something better because of how much better you feel about yourself.

I agree that we have so much to overcome after being obese with the whole negativity thing.  I was really bad and then I realized that I was only hurting myself and just like the lady in the blog...*****ally wants to be around that kind of attitude?  I would think about my horrible bosses and how they treated me but I know that I had to take some of the responsibility in that.  I was pretty negative because I felt so badly about myself.  I think that remembering that we cannot stress over things we can't change is very freeing. 

So here's my suggestion.  Instead of waiting around for the axe to hit you, start looking and since you know you feel much better about yourself, I know you will project a much more hireable person than you would have before.  Get excited about the possibilities and don't hide in the comfortable rut.  You have nothing to lose by trying do you?  Wouldn't that be a cool Christmas present to give yourself????
Blessings, Y

Now, I am far from always being a cheerleader, but I try to live my life everyday, GRATEFUL for what was given to me. Its been a year and I am NEVER tired of saying THANK YOU GOD & everyone who helped in giving me my life back.  I know I might have been an exception to the rule,,,BUT my stay was so uneventful, as you know I had no complications, NO pain, NO gas, I even had "color" in my face a couple of hours after surgery.

Im not sure if its because my situation was sooo differerent, that even though if I thought I would have had a horrible time at the hospital and recovery, I would NOT dwell on it.  Like I said, I really am humbly grateful and just blessed to have been given this.  I would NEVER "bite the hands that fed me".

BUT I try to ALWAYS look at things like, "well, things could have been or be worse"  This thinking has REALLY made a positive difference in my everyday life with my family, friends, co-workers, my job..etc...

I hope she is in a better place now and realize her experience "was not bad at all" Not everyone is as fortunate as she was...

Love ya!

You know Monica, that's why you're gonna make it just fine.  You realize how important it is to know that your glass is half full instead of half empty.  It's all about attitude you know....you are so beautiful....and I'm amazed every time I see you.
Love you girl, Y