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148.6. First of the month tally-up: June 1st- 157.2, July 1st- 148.6 = -8.6#

Total from April (189#) -40.#. (High weight at regain 9/23/23 was 194.6).

Biggest takeaway (how many times am I going to have to relearn this?)

• It took 3 1/2 years of steady regaining, denying, ignoring, lip service without significant effort only to return to continuing increasing gain -
• It took ONE day to honestly admit full responsibility for the gain
• It took me coming back here for the support, encouragement and help
• It took the next day and the next days after to detox the slider carbs
• It then took 4 months of practicing mindful eating to lose the weight.

Three and a half years of me not taking responsibility for poor choices and then 4 months of daily effort (not always successful, but committed).

I'm saying this is my truth - The problems involved in weight gain and the inability to maintain sustained maintenance are many- food addictions, disordered eating, medications, misguided coping patterns; seems like all and anything physical, mental, emotional. Many of these are life long issues I also struggle with.

Guess I'm just today puzzled at why'd it take so long for me to choose to do the work ?

Thanks to one and all here in the place where I can be/ask for accountability, talk, share and discuss all matters without judgement. Megalopsychy is found here in good measure.

Today you have been my therapist - thanks for listening and send me the bill

We can mostly work around the tourists and let's face it, I'm here summer only too. It is the lack of courtesy on the roads that bugs me because off-season everyone is pretty good about letting cars out (unlike other places in Massachusetts like Boston). But that goes away mostly in the summer. All our roads are 2 lanes with one lane in each direction other than a portion of route 6 which runs along the middle (not close to my part of the Cape). So it isn't as if you get a big gain by squeezing someone out.

I bet the hoards of tourists (of which I am one) can be annoying! I can't wait until retirement when we can travel outside of high season and explore places without the hoards and the stress it creates on the communities. Between the unprecedented heat waves, and the crush of tourists, I don't think I would venture to places like Italy, France, Germany etc in the summer anymore.

Food pushers: I've know several thin, very disciplined eaters, who were voracious food pushers. I've wondered if it's their way of living vicariously. They're urging you to eat what they wish to eat. And maybe they don't mind if others around them aren't as thin.

Overcast this morning. Sun will burn it off soon I hope.

July 1 is here! The next 2 months are the busiest on Cape Cod. Strategies for going out to eat for meals, what roads to use, and timing of movements must be put in place to cope with traffic. The usual common courtesy of letting cars out from side streets onto busy streets becomes more important but much more rare. Yesterday we took a left onto the main road my neighborhood empties onto and the car we went in front of was apparently speeding as we had plenty of room but he/she ended up on our tail and blasted the horn when we turned off. Interestingly there was a car in front of us so there was only a gain of one car length. Sigh...

All junk work is complete. I also went through some boxes with mementos yesterday and pared them down to fit into one existing box. I need to keep doing that with some drawers in preparation for when we actually move but it is not necessary before we put the house on the market. Today we are going to try to get rid of as many items designated for donation as possible and DS is making another trip to the storage unit with his excess stuff. Maybe we will arrange furniture in the screen porch and maybe I will clean the outdoor shower (which I'd like to be able to use before we leave the house anyway).

Tonight we are going out to DH's area of Cape Cod to have dinner with his children and granddaughter who are at the house for July 4th week. We are dropping books into a collection box on the way.

The higher dose of Tirzepatide (7.5) which I started Thursday seems to be working well. I was hardly hungry yesterday and could barely eat the one leftover meatball (large) for dinner. I am trying to be as protein-rich as possible at each meal, including using protein drinks as my coffee creamer. The only side-effects I have noticed along the way are a bit of constipation some days, but since I used to have the opposite it is actually a benefit for me.

Time to get motivated. Have a megalopsychy Monday!

It does make one feel lighter to get the junk out doesn't it? I believe essentially all our junk is in the dumpster now, ready to be picked up on Wednesday (and it is FULL)!