Friday, April 18, 2025

Interesting comments about having fewer friends as we age. That is definitely true up north, but because everyone is a transplant here most people are interested in making new friends.

Peps, we should hook up your bff and my almost-former friend/neighbor. They would get along famously! Or, it would be like crossing the streams from the Ghostbusters proton packs and be very bad...

I wondered if we were making very slight headway with olive twigs (not branches), but today the HOA sent out the new fine schedule significantly upping the fine for operating a customer-based business from your home. It was $25 which is no deterrent. It's now $5000. Otherwise, why wouldn't they just pay the fine and keep breaking the rule? If she stops by July 1st, the fine is $0!

She texted me (I don't feel like cleaning up her typos): did you and other board members approve the document just sent out or is this just martha (the president) who did it?

Me: She signed it, but HOAMCO (our management co) and the board gave input and approved it.

Her: you and the board truly are vindictive!

Her: his teaching doesnt hurt anyone in our neighborhood!!!

Me: Amy, It's not meant to be vindictive, it's meant to deter and also covers short term rentals which are another form of commercial business. If the CC&Rs are followed, there will be no fines applied.

Honestly, the "you" in "you and the board truly are vindictive" stung. This isn't on me, but I am a convenient target for her. There are no fines if she complies with the rule they are breaking by July 1st, which is very generous I think. I am less and less inclined to want to try to keep her as a friend. And while I would be happy to sit down and try to help her understand any part of this, I don't think she can absorb anything but what feeds her sense of being a victim rather than responsible for not abiding by the rules she agreed to.

On a more interesting topic, the weather here is bonkers. After 87 degrees last weekend, it snowed again today. I posted someone else's video from today on TT. Stunning!

So nothing else here, just dealing with text-induced adrenaline spikes that leave me a shaky mess and trying to stay warm despite Kirby wanting to go outside to sniff all the wet smells and wanting me to join him.

Take care all...

Luckily, BFF is a ride or die friend of 40+ years. We had a chat today. All is well in our world. One thing is that is true about the relationship he and I have is that I will never fully understand his anxiety, depression, and proclivity to catastrophize. I empathize, but I don't really "get" it.

This neighbor is not a true friend. Clearly she thinks she is always in the right and can rationalize her (and her son's) behavior no matter what. In her head her hurtful comments turn everyone else into the bad guys and she and her son become the victims.

CC, you're right. Your neighbor is neither acting like a friend nor taking responsibility for her mistakes.

I feel for you because breaking up with friends can be hard. But it's sometimes the healthiest choice to make.