Saturday, April 12, 2025

119 - not sure if the scale here reads similar to the scale at home. I guess we shall see...

It is windy and rainy here. A very raw looking day and the last thing I want to do is power wash outside. I don't even like doing that when it is warm out and have hired people to do it when it is extensive. DH sees this as a bonding experience. On my 3 hours of sleep, it is the last thing I want to do. Couldn't fall asleep, then dogs were up and down all night and DH up at 5 am.

Justice is happy though. He likes it here even though he loves the Florida warmth. Lots of new, interesting smells outside.

Have a sweet Saturday!

Ugh Liz, that sounds the opposite of fun. Chores that get you wet outside on a cold day, it's hard to spin anything positive out of that. I hope it's over quickly, and that Justice continues to have fun.

I agree that our group has some amazing mojo. Despite struggles with regain, I feel like my sleeve has been an incredible tool, and truly changed the trajectory of my life. The thing about regain: it does not mean you are not a successful sleever. Regain is totally expected, and the medical definition of a successful outcome is to maintain a 50% loss of excess weight.

Speaking of weight, mine was up by about 3 pounds when I came back from vacation. It really surprised me because even though I typically eat indulgent foods on vacation, I simply cannot eat enough for it to really have an impact and I'm generally not snacking. But something in my formula went wrong, because here I am, and the weight hasn't fallen off like it normally does in the week after. So I'm going to need to be more intentional (loathe to say diet). Step 1: I will go back to the normal dosing schedule for my Wegovy. Step 2: Goodbye ****tails. Step 3: No to treats. Continue with focusing on protein. Losing 3 pounds will probably take a month. Sigh.

Another factor: I think the new med I'm taking in place of Tomaxifen is messing with me. In addition to weight gain, it has some other side effects that I am experiencing. I am obsessed with the idea of going off this med. Typically it's 5 years of treatment. Combined, I'm at 4 years. I was stage 1a, which has a very high survival rate. I personally know one person who was diagnosed with the same grade, at the same time, and she chose not to take the meds at all. My question has always been, if I didn't take them, and I had a recurrence how would I feel vs. if I do take them and I have a recurrence, how would I feel. Early on, dealing with the side effects won. At this stage, dealing with the side effects is losing. If I did stop taking them after over 4 years of treatment, I think I would fall on the side that another 6 months wasn't going to change the outcome. (Rightly or wrongly). I could deal with the outcome. Because recurrence is always possible no matter what. I do believe I've lowered the chances, but I'm to the point where the risk vs quality of life is tipping. Anyhow, it may or may not be the cause of some weight gain, and an up tick in my blood pressure, but I really want to be done. I see my oncologist in June, and unless she has some really convincing data, I will discontinue this treatment. In the meantime, I diet. :(

On that note, I am on my way to coffee in a moment. :)

Your three step "plan" sounds reasonable and doable. If I were doing it I wouldn't weigh too often though (I can't mentally take the ups and downs when trying to lose weight).

A discussion with your oncologist will probably help you make the decision that's right for you. I feel for you and especially the younger women who had cancer in their late 30's/40's and have to make decisions about their aftercare with these drugs after having had their bodies cut open, irradiated and/or blasted with chemo. One of those women is here staying with us this weekend and definitely is fighting the weight gain as she previously was always quite slim. She isn't super overweight but definitely more curvy than usual to put it nicely,

Cold weather powerwashing sounds dreadful! Cold mist. Blech.

I reached out to my "friend" one last time yesterday and left a voicemail saying I missed her and could we talk. Crickets again. Even when I was in the wrong, I have never had someone I considered a very close friend be so unyielding and frankly unkind. So now to move on to trying to reframe this in my mind that I am better off without such a person in my life.

Yesterday I had lunch with my other friend and we hd a lovely time. No drama. She knows my neighbor too (I introduced them). I have sought her advice about this and she has been very supportive. Her comment after this final reaching out was "All that tells me you have given the grace... I not so secretly hope she gives you the love you deserve. She needs the grace you're delivering, let's just hope she knows.

But if you can at least know, in your heart, that you have had the best intentions all along, and tried your best to do the right thing, you might be able to get some peace from that. Because you have and you did."

So I have wonderful friends who would never do this to me even at my worst. At 53, I am too old for "friends" like that.

Today I am chatting with my UK friend and our other CA friend at 11. Lots of cleaning needed as my bff and his new boyfriend are coming for lunch tomorrow. And I am supposed to go to my next door neighbor's to see their house and have ****tails (they haven't moved in yet, but are soon to). My former friend was invited too, though I hope she decides not to go. She often backs out of invitations. But it's not my new neighbor's issue, so I will be pleasant and just steer clear.

I think that's it for me. Wishing you all a happy day!

Absolutely, you are handling this with much kindness and grace. No doubt living in the same community you will run into her from time to time. But you can hold your head up knowing that you did all that you could.

You have done all you can to reach out to this woman so you should not feel guilty at all. I have to think that she may have some personality defect that makes her turn from what appears to be a caring friend to acting like you are the enemy. I had one of those once. Better that those people are not in your life. If she is like my former friend some day she may act like she forgot it ever happened and try to be close again while you are thinking no way. This happened about 5+ years after the break at a community celebration that deceased DH was officiating at.

Greetings all

Another super sunny day here. Or maybe it just seems so due to my newly enhanced vision. It's all good. But I am kind of getting cabin fever and may drive to the grocery store as an outing. Plus we need hippie deli food. Still getting used to the new glasses and taking them on and off every two minutes. I need the true end of nose readers I think.

Well Liz, if I were you I would tell DH you don't feel so good and could he do the wash thing? Seems like not a true bonding thing. You need a nap.

DD your decision on the medication makes sense. Five years is a sort of arbitrary study criteria. Do they study 4.3 years, 4.5 etc? You are not one to do stuff on a whim. Coffee today looked great! Such a cool custom. Civilized.

DH has been amusing himself all morning playing with the sirius radio subscription so he can get over the air updates on the electric cars. Fine by me. Leaves me with tv control while Major Tom is out in the garage talking to ground control. Tee Tee.

CC I don't see how you could handle your cranky friend any better. She probably knows deep down she overreacted and is embarrassed. Might just take time. Meanwhile it is her loss. Enjoy the other house warming party. And your guests.

I am grateful I got a sub for gallery shift even though I probably could have done it. Should be a busy day there.

So as a "shut in" I am getting a bit restless and my mind heads to the kitchen. Not good. I really do need to get out and about. Liz, think your WW chicken dish would work with ground chicken? A thought.

Well, there is always laundry.

Diane S

I'm not sure about ground chicken in that di**** might be kind of mushy?

Yeah, readers that you can look over are best when switching from close to far away a lot. I had to go through figuring that out after I had laser vision correction 15 years ago. I went from extreme nearsightedness for which I wore glasses or contacts all the time to just needing readers.

125.2, getting very close to my low range number. I was actually able to get over my 1200 calories today, most of them being healthy choices (all but my 2 squares of Lindt dark chocolate).

DH got a new phone so he spent the day setting that up. I did a shortened treadmill routine and arm work, worked on my Esty shop for not long enough and then grilled out hamburgers and veggies (peppers, onions and zucchini).

Tonight I'm working on my last Character Development class homework. Those 12 weeks went fast! Perhaps some TV and a soak in the tub to end my day is in order!

Grilling outside must mean you had good weather! They usually grill here for this weekend, but it is too wet outside.