Tuesday, January 7, 2025

119

I did accomplish what I planned yesterday plus hanging a couple of pictures. The closet is now configured with enough hanging areas for my longer clothes. Previously it had lots of room for shorter items but only a small area for longer stuff though several of the short areas were being unused.

And Justice was home by 7:45 am. He was very affectionate yesterday.

Today is shopping, laundry and cooking day. I am going to try make a low carb lasagne I found online. We shall see how it comes out.

I also have to defuse DS who blew up yesterday afternoon likely based on lack of knowledge about a family situation and proceeded to get several people upset. I was too annoyed with him to even talk it through last night except to tell him that his reaction was unwarranted, to stop calling people, and I would discuss it with him this morning. Why does being a parent never end?

Have a Tenacious Tuesday!

Good morning, all! Here in snowland, I'm starting to get cabin fever. A trip to Kroger sounds pretty good right now.

About parenting ... I don't have kids, so I don't know much about parenting. But I do remember when I realized my dad had given up that role or changed his view of what it meant for him. I was 36 or 37, newly single again, and home from L.A. to spend Christmas with my parents. I slowly realized that something had changed. He was pleasant and amiable, but he was no longer offering opinions about things I said, much less offering advice. He seemed perfectly comfortable with me saying or doing anything without any commentary from him.

I suddenly realized that he was done worrying about me. Although I wasn't living my life the way he would have wanted me to, he was no longer investing energy in trying to change or guide or persuade me about anything. It was a strange sensation to realize that he was marshaling his energy for others (and maybe for himself) and had moved me to a back burner. But I also realized it was only fair that he should be able to reorder his priorities.

Because he and I never talked about any of this, I can only assume that what I observed is what was really going on with him. In any event, this felt like a kind of graduation, at least for me. And maybe it was for him, too.

Your experience with your Dad is thought-provoking. I guess my mother did that early on because she was an alcoholic so there wasn't a time when I realized there was a change. My eldest DD died at 32 and was sick for the last few years so I stayed solidly in a parenting role her whole life. I had to help her and be her advocate in those last couple of years. I only became very close with DSD when she was an adult. I might be starting to feel less of a need to be involved with youngest DD as she is 36 and married now. But DS still seems to be in the throes of growing up since he just moved out on his own 5 months ago at age 33.

Liz, that all makes sense to me. Despite the fact that we're all children and most of us are parents, those two identities and need sets and skill sets come in lots of different sizes. There are probably as many different kinds of parent/child relationships as there are relationships.

The wild thing to me is that nobody gets any training in how to be a parent.

I know! We do from our parents but sometimes they aren't the best or we have kids very different from ourselves!

I get your Dad! Being a Mom, and a partner to my husband are what most defines me, gives me meaning and joy. But sometimes these people just need to figure out some things without my input :) And then sometimes they amaze me with their wisdom, so it flows both ways.

I have a meeting at 1 pm with the state pension agency. I am on edge about that. I think that is understandable. However, I am resolved to retire whatever the outcome of that meeting is. I am no longer in a mental space that will allow me to continue to teach full time. I may find something else to do, if need be for extra income, but I will not continue to do what I am doing now.

215.0, headed back in the right direction. I really must get serious now that the holidays are over in getting the last 20, 30 or so pounds off. The ideal weight I have in my mind is 185 with an upward 3-5 pound range. Hopefully, my face will be able to handle the loss. If not, I will need to reconsider. But the only way to know is to continue on this path.

I am on edge today. Sometimes with me, little things build up and get to me. Currently it is the failing water heater, the dishwasher that decided to conk out over the weekend (granted it's 20 +/- years old...) and the fact that my auto payment on the RV glitched and hasn't taken money from my account in 4 months so the lien holder sent it to collections for repossession. WTF!!!!!! Would have been nice if they had contacted me first. So, I have to deal with that today. UGH....

Otherwise, all is well in the world. RIGHT????

Today is your tough day! Sorry you are dealing with so much!

Oh boy, sometimes if anything can go wrong everything does. And I swear that home appliances die in multiples.

That's a no good, very bad day for sure. I hope it gets better from here!