Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Hi everyone!

Shee**** has been a whirlwind of a few days. Hospital visits, keeping traveling brother and dad's girlfriend up to date, talking with doctors and surgeons and nurses, checking on dad's mental acuity and keeping him company and trying to keep him up on his care (not easy since he has not been 100% reliable since the heavy pain meds) has all kept me very busy the past few days. It has been very hard to keep up on my own self care. Basically, it's been non existent. LOL....

Dad's break is quite complex and multi faceted. Two surgeons have passed on taking it on. The joint repair specialist who did my dad's original hip replacements has been assigned to Dad's case and has no problem performing the surgery, but is very hesitant to do it because of the length of the surgery. It would require 3-5 hours under general anesthesia, which could prove extremely problematic for his mental recovery. Long term anesthesia on an almost 94 year old man can lead to possible weeks of major confusion and agitation. Plus, the surgery would require having his thigh flayed open from hip to knee, removing artificial femur head, re cutting femur, pinning the break in the femur and hip, and possibly require a longer recovery than allowing the breaks to heal on their own. The femur head has slipped, but was stopped by a safety wire the surgeon installed when putting in the new hip joint. So given Dad's overall great physical health I opted to forego/postpone surgery to see if the hip and femur heal on their own. Now it's a matter of getting him to a skilled nursing facility and getting PT. More x-rays in two weeks and a follow up with the surgeon. Fingers crossed.

My biggest concern right now is his mental state. He is not back to normal. Yesterday he was still pulling off his hospital gown and throwing off the blankets. When I arrived he was naked (again!), but at least had a pillow over his "privates". He was also going on about the sales people in the hallway being able to see him naked and how he couldn't get up and walk around because of that. I got him dressed and reminded him that he couldn't walk right now anyhow. He smiled and acknowledged his "bad leg". He also removed his IV at some point during the day. I stayed after visiting hours to keep him occupied while the nurse put in a new IV. Poor guy is bruised and battered. Best thing is I didn't have to "pee" him while I was there. He had peed just before I got there. There is something disquieting about the role reversal, even though it's completely normal. Just weird.

I'm concerned that the fall and heavy medication has taken a toll on his mental wellness. Or perhaps the meds have made it more difficult for him to mask his cognitive decline. I'm not sure. Most of the doctors seem to think he's pretty with it, but they don't know him and he's not showing his reality to them. His day nurse yesterday acknowledged that is is in and out of our reality. At least his mental state has improved each day.

I am super interested in CC's blood sugar work. I have thought about doing something similar, so I think I may follow in her footsteps and track my glucose levels for a month or two or three.

Dad's girlfriend will come down this weekend to relieve me. I'm going to take off for a show Friday afternoon. I think a weekend of dog show busy will be just what I need.

6.5 teaching days left for this school year. My last week will be student-less. Such a change from what I am used to at the end of the year! Whoo hoo....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry, Devon. Your Dad's situation was hard before and this is such a major upset to what was beginning to be some stability in his situation. Makes me realize how cruel life can be at the end even with the very best of care. Losing our mental capabilities and the toll physical trauma takes on an old body sometimes seem too much to ask of a person and those who love them. I wish we could help support you in all this somehow!

I'm late checking in as I went to my women's group meeting and to the lunch after. I think I am turning a corner on friends! I went with my neighbor friend and she kept marveling at how I "knew everyone". Hardly! But keeping at it, I am making headway and am collecting some good people around me and trying to make plans for lunches with them. And my collected people are liking my other collected people! Several of them exchanged contact information after getting to chat with one another. It's so nice when your friends become friends with each other too.

Peps asked about the company I used for my CGM (continuous glucose monitor). It's Signos. And I had to tell him I admit to feeling really discouraged that I have a problem I didn't think I had. I signed up for it thinking it would be a big pat of the back for my current low sugar eating and a reinforcement for my recent "saintliness" in giving up high carb eating. Instead it's uncovered an issue and seriously bums me out to see how often I am out of a good range. A ways away from diabetic, but clearly pre-diabetic. I know it's always better to know than be ignorant, but darn it!! I was feeling really good about my choices and now feel extra hemmed in in my food choices and still ending up with higher glucose.

I look forward to the day when I can look back and see this was a good thing and maybe saved me by keeping on a track I might have fallen off when my clothes started to fit again or I was given cake. Clothes fitting is a nice to have thing. Not being diabetic is a life saving thing.

Anyway, those are the highs and lows of my Wednesday thus far. I hope you all are hanging in there and happy! Congratulations on your upcoming end of year, Peps! DD, hope yours is fast approaching too! And welcome back to the US, Liz. DianeO, anything good at the health store for dinner and any luck getting the sweet peas in the ground? Shirl, are you settled back at work after your weekend away? Thank you for sharing your dinner pics!

Oh Peps, I am so sorry for what you and your father are going through. Unfortunately as long as your Dad is in unfamiliar surroundings his mental state may not improve much. And as I learned through my years in Alzheimer's support groups sometimes the decline is permanent. I think you have absolutely made the right decision on treatment at this time in light of his age and mental status. But as hard as this all is, as long as he can be kept comfortable that is what counts. Sometimes I think fate has a hand in things: a situation that seems onerous may avoid a future which would be worse. I know this may not be helpful, but I am positive that you are making the right choices for your Dad.

I can't believe I never posted yesterday (I added a comment this morning). Travel through time really messed me up. I think I slept possibly an hour or a bit more on the 9 hour flight to Honolulu. We were able to check into our hotel right away and then I slept solidly for about 2 hours next to the pool. We watched the sunset, had a light meal (split a burger) and were in bed by 8:30 or so and asleep shortly after 9. We didn't get up until 8:30 this morning, so I feel relatively reset for now.

We took a one hour walk then had a ridiculously overpriced breakfast considering that neither of us eats a lot in the morning. Oh well. Our plan is to relax in our bathing suits by the pool or at the beach (both right here), watch the sunset, then go to nearby Haleiwa for dinner.

I do love Hawaii and can't believe we are in the last few days of this long and amazing honeymoon, but I really can't wait to be back home again.

Have a winning Wednesday!

Greetings all

Peps I am so sorry for the situation with your Dad. I think your decision is totally correct - to wait for healing rather than diving into surgery. It's risky for a person of that age indeed. And I am sorry he is acting up a little thought who can blame him. Sounds like he is getting good care and you are doing all you can. Glad another person is going to come and be in charge so you can get a break. You deserve it. Don't forget a bit of self care. Your dad probably has what they call "greater reserves" meaning he had more brain power than most people so he seems more together. Anyway thats what they said about my mom. Does he understand that he cannot get up and walk around? My mother used to forget that.

CC good for you on collecting new friends. Sounds like you are in the right place - a region with lots of transplanted people. All looking for new friends and fun. Enjoy the process. And now when people push cake on you you can say - no can do the sugar - and they will back off.

Liz glad you got some rest. All those time zone changes are wicked. Trip is about the right length if you are longing for home in the last couple of days.

I ordered some new pool shoes since I can't find my old ones. Old ones were sort of too big anyway. I tell myself I will go to the pool when I get them.

Today is dog pill day so the liver sausage is thawing. Only way to do it.

No clue whats for dinner tonight. Must excavate the freezer. It's overcast but dry so no summery food just yet. Anybody else like gazpacho? one of my favorite summer treats. Ditto BLT which can be made with lettuce as bread.

Washed my hair and continue to be grateful I did that shower. Cant imagine life without it. My brother has big walk in showers but they have no grab bars.

Murphy the eagle's baby is now huge!!

Cheers all.

Diane S

We just had the shower on Cape Cod redone (at Mike's home). It is also a walk-in shower now (formerly a tub shower) and has grab bars. Better safe than sorry!

Pros so sorry you and your Dad have to go through this. And you worked so diligently to get him into his new living situation, and it seemed to be going well. Again, you are a great son. Speaking of sons, when will your brother be back?

CC, have you ever had your A1c done at any check ups? Perhaps this blood sugar issue is a very recent phenomenon. It is not news that you want, but I think you are so right that it is better to know.

Question about your blood sugar monitor, does it show any reaction to Diet Coke?

Liz you have had an incredible trip, but I can totally understand that you are looking forward to home.

Diane, your shower sound wonderful. I have the old builders grade tub with shower. Whenever I stay in a hotel with a fine walk in shower, I think I must get me one of these.

I may be pushing this eating very sparingly a little too much. I had a very mediocre work out, then had that shaky, trembling hands thing in the car. Must have used up all my glucose. One of the rare times I felt worse leaving. Usually I feel tired but relaxed. I'm resting right now while DH makes dinner, and already feel better.

I have had my a1c checked before and it's always been good. But it hasn't been done since before I left CA and put on my moving-stress pounds. I haven't had a questionable fasting glucose since before my VSG. But surgery fixed that pretty quickly and it never came up again and I didn't give it another thought thinking that was a nearly 300 pound problem rather than a possibility now. I guess though having seen this place before I should have been more wary of seeing it again if I wasn't careful.

Funny you ask about the Diet Coke - I meant to not have any today so I could see if my day was any better without it and mindlessly reached for one when I got home. So I need to try again tomorrow. I can tag specific moments (like drinking a Diet Coke or using the sauna or getting stressed) on my daily graph so I can go back and see what happened after, but if there is a change it's slight and hard to tell apart from normal minor fluctuations. Can you tell I am trying to keep them in my life?? I have so few vices!

Everyone's mileage may vary, but I've never felt they cause a blood sugar spike, but then I read all the yada yada (firmly parked in the pro Diet Coke camp!) so hoping your data collection confirms they are not problematic ( at least blood sugar wise).